Anyone else want to ctb because they don’t have the energy to function from day to day?

[Volatile]

Being an adult and being on top of all one's responsibilities ALL THE TIME is too much to bear. I can handle stretches of time, but I can't maintain it. I inevitably lapse on some and even lapsing on some can have disastrous effects.

 

[bigj75]

yes due to an eating disorder I had I feel too depressed and have some organ failure. It's unbearable going day to day. I can't concentrate on anything like I used to before the disorder.

 

[Smilla]

Yes, it's one of my many reasons.

 

[Ashpac]

To the 3 people who have posted on this thread and anyone else.
Im wondering, how has your weekend been so far with wanting to CTB?
The reason I ask this is because Ive wanted to so bad and Ive had no fear of stopping me, meaning the survival instinct would not stop me. However, I cant let my mother pay the debt off that I am in.
I dont want to CTB for that reason by the way Im just saying.
In November its pretty much gone and ill be happy about that but ive been so amped up this weekend to do it, Ive had to stop myself.

I just want to hear how your weekend has been.

 

[CentreMid]

To the 3 people who have posted on this thread and anyone else.
Im wondering, how has your weekend been so far with wanting to CTB?
The reason I ask this is because Ive wanted to so bad and Ive had no fear of stopping me, meaning the survival instinct would not stop me. However, I cant let my mother pay the debt off that I am in.
I dont want to CTB for that reason by the way Im just saying.
In November its pretty much gone and ill be happy about that but ive been so amped up this weekend to do it, Ive had to stop myself.

I just want to hear how your weekend has been.

Rather boring. I've looked into some of the tallest places in my area to see if they're good enough for jumping but nothing will work. I've also thought about an exit bag but I may have to do some more research on it. I'm still planning, but eager to get things done.

 

[Ashpac]

I think the exit bag is a great way to go.
As long as its argon or nitrogen, I wouldnt go with helium.
I need to do more research on that method myself.
Ive seen lots of pictures of people dead through this method.
It doesnt look too pleasant but I know its peaceful.
Which is what we all want.

 

[MortDeVivre]

To the 3 people who have posted on this thread and anyone else.
Im wondering, how has your weekend been so far with wanting to CTB?
The reason I ask this is because Ive wanted to so bad and Ive had no fear of stopping me, meaning the survival instinct would not stop me. However, I cant let my mother pay the debt off that I am in.
I dont want to CTB for that reason by the way Im just saying.
In November its pretty much gone and ill be happy about that but ive been so amped up this weekend to do it, Ive had to stop myself.

I just want to hear how your weekend has been.

Arguing with my mother, playing video games, browsing the internet. I'm just killing time until my antiemetics reach me. After that, bye!

 

[Ashpac]

Arguing with my mother, playing video games, browsing the internet. I'm just killing time until my antiemetics reach me. After that, bye!

You going with the SN method? you got taganet too?

 

[MortDeVivre]

You going with the SN method? you got taganet too?

No, sodium azide, and I'm waiting for metoclopramide.

 

[Ashpac]

Brave person for going with that method. Can I ask why you prefer Azide or Nitrite? I know its more lethal. Just curious.

 

[MortDeVivre]

It's fast, relatively painless, and affordable. There's also no known antidote at the moment.

 

[Ashpac]

When you planning on taking it? I wish you the best of course. You have made your mind up. We all want to be free from this hell hole/prison called earth.

 

[midastic]

Yes that's one of my factors. High school is so fucking stressful, I don't know about you guys but I start school around 6:30 so that means waking up at 5:30 and I don't go home until around 3:30 (sometimes 5:00). On top of that, we get a shit ton of work. With my ongoing depression/anxiety issues, I sometimes have to pull all nighters because I can't focus on doing the work. But its not the main reason why I want to CTB.

 

[MortDeVivre]

When you planning on taking it? I wish you the best of course. You have made your mind up. We all want to be free from this hell hole/prison called earth.

I was thinking 1 week after receiving the antiemetics. I bought from two sellers to be sure. One package should arrive around the 8th, and if it doesn't, the second should arrive around the 15th. In theory, I could leave around the 22nd. Which is great because I wanted to do it before my birthday, which is a few days later.

 

[Ashpac]

Sorry volatile, didnt mean to hijack your thread dude!

 

[Brokenanddeadinside]

Yes the only way I function is being on suboxone because it gives me energy but even still don't have much. Only time besides that is when I'm hypomanic and I get a lot of energy and act different but after it ends it sucks and it's usually when I get involved in bad shit or fuck up majorly.

 

[FadedMemory]

Well it's not my main reason but contributes significantly. I don't even have energy to do passive things like be on the internet and watch TV.

 

[Deleted_9cKnXB34QG]

I've never really had the energy to function, even as a kid I was always skipping classes and never did my homework or anything. I remember coming home from school and being so exhausted that I had to take a 3 hour nap.
I can't imagine living an adult life where you have to go to work, do the chores, pay bills, do groceries n' all that shit. And then some people go ahead and get married, have a baby.

I don't understand this, I don't know how do normal people live and some of them even claim to enjoy it. How the fuck? If I had to live like that I would just drink myself to death or something.

 

[Dani Paradox]

Yeah, I can't function well at all. I have c-ptsd from all the trauma I've been through and it's really difficult even carrying out simple tasks. Can't even sleep anymore.

 

[Final Escape]

Yes, this is a major factor. Iam afraid to end up homeless because I'm unable to get things accomplished.

 

[throwaway123]

Being an adult and being on top of all one's responsibilities ALL THE TIME is too much to bear. I can handle stretches of time, but I can't maintain it. I inevitably lapse on some and even lapsing on some can have disastrous effects.

Yea, it's so bad I can't even CTB. CTB takes a lot more effort than anything else in life.

 

[Dani Paradox]

Yes, this is a major factor. Iam afraid to end up homeless because I'm unable to get things accomplished.

Me too. I'll end up homeless or in a permanent psych ward.

 

[Volatile]

Yes, this is a major factor. Iam afraid to end up homeless because I'm unable to get things accomplished.

But you made it to your 40s. How did you accomplish adult things up until now?

 

[atwasoa]

Yeah i cant function day to day properly anymore.
And its also help me feel not bad about dissapointing my parents.
"I cant finish collage, I cant go to work anymore, even expecting me to continue this suffering is unbelivebly selfish for them. I dont have the motivation anymore
If i cant function why live?

 

[Miss clefable]

Yes I'm just a ghost no one cares just hearing the same crap day and day out it really grinds on me everything is so loud

 

[bigj75]

Yeah i cant function day to day properly anymore.
And its also help me feel not bad about dissapointing my parents.
"I cant finish collage, I cant go to work anymore, even expecting me to continue this suffering is unbelivebly selfish for them. I dont have the motivation anymore
If i cant function why live?

same exact thing with me. IDK why people don't understand.

 

[CRM]

I always feel like I had two hours of sleep. I spend half my free time in bed, unable to sleep. Showering takes a lot of effort, eating takes a lot of effort, and getting out of bed takes a lot of effort. It feels like I'm 50 years older than I am.

 

[Yakamoz]

Being an adult and being on top of all one's responsibilities ALL THE TIME is too much to bear. I can handle stretches of time, but I can't maintain it. I inevitably lapse on some and even lapsing on some can have disastrous effects.

Me too rn