Anyone else wake up in terror because of planning to die soon?

[TreizKhushranata]

The feeling fades but it's uncomfortable.

 

[nitroautnz]

No, never had that, I often wake up with anxiety, so ctb is all i want at this moment.

 

[Meditation guide]

I probably would if I were planning to die too.

 

[TreizKhushranata]

I probably would if I were planning to die too.

Not planning???

 

[Meditation guide]

Not planning???

I don't need to. I have a disease that will do the job.

 

[cyberlordsumit]

i had it in August. not anymore, i made my peace with death and life. Rather, not having the option to die asap terrified me more. I felt trapped. Maybe you need more time to make peace.. you'll know when you experience anhedonia

 

[Alec]

YES! When I had my first attempt, the closer the day I set for it was coming the more often I had these moments of pure terror and panic and I would wake in the middle of the night in terror. I would remind myself of everything and the terror would pass but then try to catch me off guard again.

 

[MariV]

terror? for me its rather happiness and relief. finally departing from this hell of pain, suffering and evil

 

[Ghost2211]

That's why I wouldn't set a date, but rather when the time feels right.

 

[voidman]

Not really. Family thinks my depression/anxiety is getting better but really I'm just getting more comfortable with the idea of carrying out my upcoming ctb.

 

[TheQ22]

I wake up in terror at the thought of another day and because I'm still here.

 

[Stick]

I'm more scared of failing or not going through with it.

 

[TheQ22]

I'm more scared of failing or not going through with it.

Yeah that would be the pits.

 

[Superdeterminist]

I'm not planning to die soon per se, but I would really like to. And there is a great terror that I'm overcome with each morning, realising I'm still in this hell. It's an awful, sickening sense of dread that makes me scared to fall asleep.

 

[Rue89]

I wake up with bad anxiety most mornings but I don't know what the cause is. The only times that it was about ctb were the mornings I had planned to do it. Now I know it's best (for me) not to set a date. Instead I am going to have my SN and stuff packed and ready to go, and I'm going to wake up every morning at the time I would need to for ctb. (I'll be doing it outside so it has to be early morning) Then when it feels right and my anxiety isn't too bad, I'll do it.

 

[FuneralCry]

I find death comforting, whenever I feel at my lowest points it's all I can think about. At least we will all die anyway.

 

[TheQ22]

I find death comforting, whenever I feel at my lowest points it's all I can think about. At least we will all die anyway.

That's the thing, it's all of our final destination whether we like it or not.

I guess choosing to get there sooner rather than later depends on how life is treating us.

 

[xLosthopex]

I wake up in terror but the fact that I will ctb soon makes me feel calmer

 

[TheQ22]

I wake up in terror but the fact that I will ctb soon makes me feel calmer

You have the N don't you? You lucky person you.

 

[xLosthopex]

You have the N don't you? You lucky person you.

Yeah, I got very lucky

 

[TheQ22]

Yeah, I got very lucky

We're all jealous. It's like I've just bought a second hand ford focus,and you have a gleaming new ferarri.

 

[xLosthopex]

We're all jealous. It's like I've just bought a second hand ford focus,and you have a gleaming new ferarri.

Never thought I'd actually succeed in getting it, it feels kinda surreal just having it sitting in my drawers
Sometimes I'm afraid it's too good to be true and one of these days I'll have my house raided by the police or something :/

 

[checkouttime]

Never thought I'd actually succeed in getting it, it feels kinda surreal just having it sitting in my drawers
Sometimes I'm afraid it's too good to be true and one of these days I'll have my house raided by the police or something :/

dont jinx yourself! get it well hidden

 

[TheQ22]

Never thought I'd actually succeed in getting it, it feels kinda surreal just having it sitting in my drawers
Sometimes I'm afraid it's too good to be true and one of these days I'll have my house raided by the police or something :/

I'd keep it in my drawers too, right next to my enormous










pile of jumpers.

 

[KiraLittleOwl]

I used to woke up in terror because of my life reality...
But not anymore

 

[Mr2005]

I used to woke up in terror because of my life reality...
But not anymore

What changed?

 

[TheSomebody]

wake up anxious because the day has not yet arrived. Wake up happy when the day comes.

 

[Wayfaerer]

I went through that phase in the beginning but I got over it.

 

[Meditation guide]

I wake up in terror every day due to not being able to breath well or move well and in pain. Not having any escape from the suffering.

 

[TreizKhushranata]

i had it in August. not anymore, i made my peace with death and life. Rather, not having the option to die asap terrified me more. I felt trapped. Maybe you need more time to make peace.. you'll know when you experience anhedonia

I have anhedonia

I find death comforting, whenever I feel at my lowest points it's all I can think about. At least we will all die anyway.

How do I stop viewing death as horrifying?

I went through that phase in the beginning but I got over it.

How?

I wake up in terror every day due to not being able to breath well or move well and in pain. Not having any escape from the suffering.

I need an illness like that. It would be a great motivator. I have one that's a burden. I cough whenever I swallow my saliva so I let it pool in my mouth for awhile. Choking on my mucus everyday is awful. I can't even meditate anymore because of it! Meditation was helping my ptsd