Anyone else trying to reclaim confidence by working out? I want to be able to physically defend myself from aggressive normies at my future job.

[WhenTheyCry]

pushups, situps, lunges, squats,

punching bag, shadow boxing/sparring, jump rope, running

pullups, dips, vertical leg raises

cycling, rowing

exercise mace

watching a variety of martial arts/self defense videos

I even bought pepper spray and a body camera. The biggest issue I had in the past was not being able to protect myself, that's why I ended up becoming traumatized and a NEET.

 

[HighFlight]

My former self could, but not anymore. Martial arts was a huge confidence builder, although I'd suggest a live class as opposed to videos.

I logically know it will be helpful, but my current self can't find either the motivation or courage to start again. I will start walking again now that the weather is better.

 

[WhenTheyCry]

My former self could, but not anymore. Martial arts was a huge confidence builder, although I'd suggest a live class as opposed to videos.

I logically know it will be helpful, but my current self can't find either the motivation or courage to start again. I will start walking again now that the weather is better.

yeah currently only learning boxing right now at a local gym and sparring with my peers but it's also fun watching random videos on youtube of other martial arts. might be planning too far ahead but doing muay thai sounds fun next. boxing is limited that you can only punch

 

[HighFlight]

One of the biggest obstacles I found when I was teaching was new people coming to learn a specific type of martial art. Everybody in the sport has their opinion on the best one, but as a beginner, it doesn't matter. (Hopefully, this comment won't derail your thread - I'm won't respond to any my-art-is-better-than-yours replies.)

If all you have available right now is boxing, do that for now. (Pay attention to the foot work as well as the hands.) And while you're doing it, ask around. I wouldn't be surprised to see someone who could point in the right direction for your area.

There are so many little nuances that cannot be picked up in a video. But if that all you have, make the best of it. And at least find a partner to workout with.

I hope it works for you.

 

[neverLoved]

pushups, situps, lunges, squats,

punching bag, shadow boxing/sparring, jump rope, running

pullups, dips, vertical leg raises

cycling, rowing

exercise mace

watching a variety of martial arts/self defense videos

I even bought pepper spray and a body camera. The biggest issue I had in the past was not being able to protect myself, that's why I ended up becoming traumatized and a NEET.

Been going to the gym somewhat trying to improve my physique, and been thinking for a while to start a martial arts. Would love to join a boxing gym.

For me it is mostly just a physique and feel better thing and not really to 'defend' myself. I am a not so tall dude and probably wouldn't stand a chance against anyone who is taller and a little experienced. Although I do imagine and fantasize about being a hero all the time.

 

[WhenTheyCry]

Been going to the gym somewhat trying to improve my physique, and been thinking for a while to start a martial arts. Would love to join a boxing gym.

For me it is mostly just a physique and feel better thing and not really to 'defend' myself. I am a not so tall dude and probably wouldn't stand a chance against anyone who is taller and a little experienced. Although I do imagine and fantasize about being a hero all the time.

there are martial arts out there invented purely for short people to win against tall people. even if you're shorter, if you're more experienced you should be able to win, is what i want to believe

 

[surroundedbydemons]

pepper spray and a body camera.

That also works. Good choice.

jump rope, running

I would also add simple walking. It is not too taxing on your joints compared to running and skipping rope, and you can always do it (no need for running shoes or the rope).

[...] physically defend myself from aggressive normies at my future job.

What kind of job? (I am genuinely interested) I am just slightly surprised you'll have to fight people occasionally.

~~~
It may sound cliche, but it is sometimes better not to engage in a physical battle. You can win your enemy on a mental field (e.g., appearance/conversation).

 

[WhenTheyCry]

That also works. Good choice.


I would also add simple walking. It is not too taxing on your joints compared to running and skipping rope, and you can always do it (no need for running shoes or the rope).


What kind of job? (I am genuinely interested) I am just slightly surprised you'll have to fight people occasionally.

~~~
It may sound cliche, but it is sometimes better not to engage in a physical battle. You can win your enemy on a mental field (e.g., appearance/conversation).

Any kind of job really, people like me give off a loser aura and attract bad attention no matter where we go.

Of course, violence is always a last resort. I will try reporting them first if anything happens.

 

[AnxietyHangover]

Yeah, I'm into weightlifting. It helps for a few hours a day to feel less shit, but I suppose after the happy chemicals wear out from the workouts I return to my sad state.

 

[Unicr0n]

watching a variety of martial arts/self defense videos

Watching them won't help. You have to physically be there training your muscles to react when the time comes for it. Brazilian Jiu Jitsu is great and law enforcement train in it too.

Strength training and cardio has really boosted my confidence. I don't feel so small in a world where most people including other women are taller than me.

You shouldn't have to worry about your physical wellbeing at your job, though. If someone is harassing you, that's what HR is for. Workplace harassment should never be tolerated.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Actually one of my coworkers who knows I've been struggling wants me to go to the gym with him but I keep telling him my qualms with it like how I don't think it would help me be any more confident in myself because my self hatred runs so much deeper than being based off looks alone. If I were to be buff or even mildly fit, I'd still have millions of other reasons to have zero self confidence because of my personality traits ensuring I will make terrible decisions that I will continue to beat myself up over. Why arm my worst enemy with the glory of fitness anyway?

Also as I've said before, exercise just doesn't work for me like it should. It never feels good for me, it just leaves me feeling sore and angry and hungry even when I stick to a consistent schedule, which I have done before so that's how I know it doesn't work for me.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

I like going to the gym but its very demotivational for me. I think unless someone's job is bouncer, violence should be the last thing on your mind at your workplace, but it's a sad world if it's really that rough. Sounds like body camera and complaints would sort that out issue in short order though.

 

[AnxietyHangover]

Also as I've said before, exercise just doesn't work for me like it should. It never feels good for me, it just leaves me feeling sore and angry and hungry even when I stick to a consistent schedule, which I have done before so that's how I know it doesn't work for me.

Feeling sore and hungry is normal after a proper workout, if we talk about strength training.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Feeling sore and hungry is normal after a proper workout, if we talk about strength training.

Makes sense, but I think normally people stop caring about those as much or the feelings simply weaken. This never happened for me in the six months I kept going at it in fact I didn't even lose any weight because I'd end up eating it all back.

 

[Grav]

I think unless someone's job is bouncer, violence should be the last thing on your mind at your workplace,

I agree. Working out, learning to defend yourself can counteract any "loser vibes" you normally put off. But unless you're in a job requiring some fighting you'd normally benefit more by being that much better at the job. People are assholes everywhere and no job is perfect but if coworkers are threatening you then it's time to move on if HR doesn't do something.

 

[surroundedbydemons]

watching a variety of martial arts/self defense videos

Watching them won't help.

I partly agree with this. Tutorials are ok, but they are tutorials, i.e., not practical.

I recommend watching actual fight videos (if you can tolerate the gore).
That way, you can spot patterns that are hard to explain. You can also learn what people do in fights when SI kicks in - those things are never seen in tutorials.

 

[neverLoved]

Makes sense, but I think normally people stop caring about those as much or the feelings simply weaken. This never happened for me in the six months I kept going at it in fact I didn't even lose any weight because I'd end up eating it all back.

The eating part I can relate to, it really does make you more hungry but if your plan is to gain muscle it's ideal. It does really suck when trying to lose weight and maintain muscle.

Being really sore should only happen at the beginning or if you have taken a break for a while. Did you eat enough protein when it happened? Not eating enough really makes your muscles heal slower which could explain the soreness.

 

[Hvergelmir]

"I want to be able to physically defend myself from aggressive normies at my future job."

Where the fuck do you plan on working!!? (That's my initial thought.)


Your follow up post about attending boxing at a gym sound a lot healthier.
I think it's a great thing to do, for health and confidence.

Just know that normies are not a physical threat. Expect much more diffuse threats, if any.

 

[RosebyAnyName]

Working out has helped me feel better and has helped with emotional regulation, but honestly it's never made me feel safer or less anxious. I like my physique more now because of exercise, but it never made me feel more confident in the sense of actually feeling more competent. I'm just way too timid to defend myself even with self-defense training and strength. I know that almost 100% of the time I'll just freeze in a stressful / traumatic situation, so I've given up and now I just hope I don't end up in a situation where I'd need to defend myself.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

The eating part I can relate to, it really does make you more hungry but if your plan is to gain muscle it's ideal. It does really suck when trying to lose weight and maintain muscle.

Being really sore should only happen at the beginning or if you have taken a break for a while. Did you eat enough protein when it happened? Not eating enough really makes your muscles heal slower which could explain the soreness.

I wasn't really watching my diet but I assume I was eating a lot of protein since I usually do eat a lot of meat already.

 

[WhenTheyCry]

"I want to be able to physically defend myself from aggressive normies at my future job."

Where the fuck do you plan on working!!? (That's my initial thought.)


Your follow up post about attending boxing at a gym sound a lot healthier.
I think it's a great thing to do, for health and confidence.

Just know that normies are not a physical threat. Expect much more diffuse threats, if any.

i'm a very small guy, people like to get physical with me sometimes

 

[Hvergelmir]

i'm a very small guy, people like to get physical with me sometimes

I'm sorry to hear that. It's just not something I've ever seen in adult work life.
The prospect of using physical combat, to defend oneself from "normies" at the workplace, sounds truly bizarre. I must assume you have a skewed picture from school, or something.

I think your best bet is communication. You must be able to speak to them, or lift the issue to a manager or HR or something.
Bullying the small guy is not accepted on any normal workplace.

If it's serious, run. Literally to escape immediate danger, but also figuratively. You shouldn't work at a place where the "normies" give you reason to defend yourself.


Physical training is really valuable, in many situation, though. Combat skills are more niche, but good to have nonetheless.
They're just not common deciding factors in adult conflicts.

I wish you the best of luck with both training and normies. Stay out of trouble.