Anyone else rehearse for your ctb day?

[eternalmelancholy]

I have everything ready to go now. All I have to do is pick a day. I have begun mentally preparing myself for what I am supposed to do on that day. I have an entire routine planned out and I keep going over it in my head.

According to this suicide researcher/professor people who successfully commit suicide overcome their instinct for self preservation by working up to it over time through practice. I highly recommend reading the article, it is fairly short but very informative.

 

[FuneralCry]

I just think when the time comes I will do everything to make sure the method does not fail. That is the important thing. Failing an attempt is what I fear, being trapped in a worse quality life. We all deserve the option of euthanasia, at least that is what I want. There is a lot of planning when it comes to ctb.

 

[eternalmelancholy]

I just think when the time comes I will do everything to make sure the method does not fail. That is the important thing. Failing an attempt is what I fear, being trapped in a worse quality life. We all deserve the option of euthanasia, at least that is what I want. There is a lot of planning when it comes to ctb.

I think it helps to break things down into steps.

1. Research and decide on a method
2. Acquire any necessary materials
3. Decide on a location and time

I think it helps to go over in your head exactly what you are supposed to do when the day finally comes. Trying to figure it all out on the spot will make things needlessly difficult.

 

[rationaltake]

I have everything ready to go now. All I have to do is pick a day. I have begun mentally preparing myself for what I am supposed to do on that day. I have an entire routine planned out and I keep going over it in my head.

According to this suicide researcher/professor people who successfully commit suicide overcome their instinct for self preservation by working up to it over time through practice. I highly recommend reading the article, it is fairly short but very informative.

Really like this article. Thanks. I've been gearing up to mentally going through my procedure too. I got the idea from athletes who do this.

I've always liked your avatar btw. And your posts.

 

[eternalmelancholy]

Really like this article. Thanks. I've been gearing up to mentally going through my procedure too. I got the idea from athletes who do this.

I've always liked your avatar btw. And your posts.

Thank you for your kind words. We all know how hard it is to die. But over time it is possible to suppress your survival instinct with practice and planning. Over a million people ctb every year so it is definitely possible. As the article stated you have to be fearless and willingly accept death. This is a skill that can be learned with practice. I think that is the main take away.

 

[rationaltake]

Thank you for your kind words. We all know how hard it is to die. But over time it is possible to suppress your survival instinct with practice and planning. Over a million people ctb every year so it is definitely possible. As the article stated you have to be fearless and willingly accept death. This is a skill that can be learned with practice. I think that is the main take away.

Yes. I agree.

 

[Insomniac]

I have everything ready to go now. All I have to do is pick a day. I have begun mentally preparing myself for what I am supposed to do on that day. I have an entire routine planned out and I keep going over it in my head.

According to this suicide researcher/professor people who successfully commit suicide overcome their instinct for self preservation by working up to it over time through practice. I highly recommend reading the article, it is fairly short but very informative.

I tried to CTB 2 days ago but failed mainly due to empathy for family members who will discover my body.

I figured that it was because I didn't intend on leaving a suicide note( because I'm not in good term with anyone). I think it'll be impossible for me to leave without leaving a note (I used to be anti suicide note).

I have everything set up too just trying to write a note.

 

[NormaJeane]

I have rehearsed my suicide method several times, both the technique of the method and psychologically. I have read about people who have succeeded with the same suicide method, but no one can know in advance if the method will fail or not.

 

[eternalmelancholy]

I tried to CTB 2 days ago but failed mainly due to empathy for family members who will discover my body.

I figured that it was because I didn't intend on leaving a suicide note( because I'm not in good term with anyone). I think it'll be impossible for me to leave without leaving a note (I used to be anti suicide note).

I have everything set up too just trying to write a note.

Have you considered doing it somewhere else? I plan on doing it in a hotel room. Large hotel chains have the resources and protocols in place to deal with this discreetly. I go back and forth on leaving a note but I am most likely not going to leave one. Every time I draft a note, it sounds like the ramblings of a crazy person. My deadline is fast approaching and I feel ready. I just have to pick a day.

I have rehearsed my suicide method several times, both the technique of the method and psychologically. I have read about people who have succeeded with the same suicide method, but no one can know in advance if the method will fail or not.

True. The only thing we can do is prepare ourselves as best as we can. Both in the chosen method and state of mind as you put it. Out of curiosity do you have a deadline in mind? Or just going by feel?

 

[Deleted member 10090]

exposure therapy in a sense. Thanks for the article. <3

 

[okaoki]

although i didn't end up jumping today , i did practice my fall , standing beside the couch/sofa(the arm rest part) and fall to the sitting part , trying to fall and land on my head . i spend quite a while doing it, sorry for my english.

 

[PDAnnie2610]

Yes. I visit the site chosen and check it out. Can't practise on SN but it's in my mind often enough.

 

[NasiGoreng]

No, I just think about it in my mind.

 

[Insomniac]

Have you considered doing it somewhere else? I plan on doing it in a hotel room

It's not much about who discovers the body it's just the psychological impact of learning I'm dead ( I think this wil be allievatee by me leaving a note).

I plan to cover my whole body with a drap so the person who discovers my hanging body will be less traumatised (my face will be covered too).

however, I once considered doing it in a hotel. I had to abandon this idea because I live in a third world country and I feel like some disrespectful and curious employee might remove my drap and take pics of my face and share it on social media for attention (it really does happen). The danger of suicide in public is you never know what kind of cynical person could discover your body.

 

[ClownMe]

I can't really rehearse for it just yet as I don't know how long my dog will live for, I definitely think about it in my head and try to visualise what my suicide and my last day in existence will look like.

 

[eternalmelancholy]

although i didn't end up jumping today , i did practice my fall , standing beside the couch/sofa(the arm rest part) and fall to the sitting part , trying to fall and land on my head . i spend quite a while doing it, sorry for my english.

Your English is completely fine btw. Do you feel relaxed after practicing a few times? Kind of like a meditation?

No, I just think about it in my mind.

Well some methods you can't fully test out. So the best you can do is imagine yourself doing it. For example, my method is N. So I've been practicing drinking bitter fluids pretending it is N. I know it is not the same thing but I think it is helping me with muscle memory. So when the time comes I should be on auto-pilot.

I can't really rehearse for it just yet as I don't know how long my dog will live for, I definitely think about it in my head and try to visualise what my suicide and my last day in existence will look like.

Yeah that's what meant. Visualization definitely helps I think. For me personally, I am not even upset or sad anymore. Ctb has become this thing I have to do. I think I have started to lose the last of my humanity. This moment feels right. I know I might not get another chance at this so this time has to be the real thing.

 

[Sarros]

I visualize going through the motions, which can at times get pretty emotional for me, Sometimes I'll open the drawers and just stare at the measuring spoons for a bit. Then I see the mortar and pestle and imagine breaking up possible clumps. At times it can be comforting and auspicious and other times despondent and leave me on the verge of tears. Survival instinct and self-preservation are usually abstruse concepts to me. I guess I must be getting more familiar with it then?

 

[Someone123]

I have everything ready to go now. All I have to do is pick a day. I have begun mentally preparing myself for what I am supposed to do on that day. I have an entire routine planned out and I keep going over it in my head.

According to this suicide researcher/professor people who successfully commit suicide overcome their instinct for self preservation by working up to it over time through practice. I highly recommend reading the article, it is fairly short but very informative.

How do you find this article? The whole idea makes sense. I keep missing "deadlines" and hopefully this will help. :)