Anyone else in a vicious cycle that never ends?

[Sadness20]

Everything repeats itself. It's been years and I can't seem to remember a time where I was okay in life. I miss my childhood. I want to be okay, to feel welcome again. I want to feel like I am not only consisting of guilt. I want to have friends and do stuff with them. I want to get out of this vicious cycle, but I know I never will. It doesnt Stop. It keeps going. I can't change it.

 

[Scribble Fan]

Yes, I've been stuck in a cycle for years now. My cycle basically consists of finding hope, working to improve my life, watching it all collapse around me, repeat. I'm sorry you're stuck here too.

 

[Beeper]

Yes, I've been stuck in a cycle for years now. My cycle basically consists of finding hope, working to improve my life, watching it all collapse around me, repeat. I'm sorry you're stuck here too.

I'm in the same boat.

With each collapse my mental health deteriorates even more.

Sometimes it feels like a curse. I often refer to the concept of a generational curse, as if I am bound by karma to live an unstable life due to issues from a past life, or from a prior generation of my family.

Science has pieced together a genetic link regarding mental health, so I suppose I was just born with a predisposition to mental health problems.

If there is a God or Gods, then F@&% them! How cruel it is to have people go through these cycles.

 

[FuneralCry]

Yes, I live a depressing, empty existence and the only way to be free is to die. I want nothing to do with life and I am tired of being alive. Every day is the same. There is nothing to look forward to and things will likely get worse for me. I hope to fall asleep and never wake again.

 

[deathLiberation]

I understand this.
Things seem to go fine, then they take a turn at the last minute and everythings get screwed.

I have now developed a suffering antecipation, i feel everything go wrong, it seems like when i feel like this things go ok, but if i think positively, things go wrong.

I hate this existence.

 

[Sadness20]

Yes, I've been stuck in a cycle for years now. My cycle basically consists of finding hope, working to improve my life, watching it all collapse around me, repeat. I'm sorry you're stuck here too.

I feel that so much, finding hope is even worse in my opinion than just staying in the terrible phases. Finding hope makes you think things can get better, but they dont

 

[Brianiskillingme]

Me too. Damned if I do, damned if I dont. Round and round on the hamster wheel.