Anyone else feel like they're operating on borrowed time?

[it.only.gets.worse]

I literally cannot imagine any other option than CTB. And I've been this way for as long as I can remember. I wonder a lot about if I am just prolonging what is my destiny and trying to push against the inevitable but it'll eventually catch up to me. Idk if this makes any sense, I just can't stop feeling like I should have already been dead long ago

 

[plesh]

Yeah it's strange, I feel like the same way.
There's a real deep part of me that just kinda knows that's how it's gonna end.

 

[GentleJerk]

Oh yeah, almost every minute of the day. I can't even get engaged with stuff that takes any considerable length of time, without the thought crossing my mind "...will I be alive long enough to finish this?"

I mean, technically we are all operating on borrowed time, because life is like a bubble that could pop at any second. Relatively few can truly appreciate and understand this, enough to take it seriously.

 

[coyotestark]

Every second of the day.

 

[FuneralCry]

Of course I do. I should have left a long time ago, but I really should have never existed in the first place. There is nothing here for me in this world and there never possibly could be, yet I am still here as dying is difficult for me. I envy those who peacefully pass away as they are free from everything. It hurts me existing in a world that I am not meant for, my life is very pointless and every day I stay alive is just prolonging my misery.

 

[OuttaTIme]

I feel the same. Hopefully i get the courage to end it soon.

 

[The_Flying_Fox]

I feel the same. Things might still improve for me, because I'm trying out a new antidepressant, but chances seem to become slimmer each week.

 

[london3]

yeah.... the clock is ticking and we are only delaying the inevitable.

every day i step closer and closer to the edge of the cliff and hope one day i will have the courage to jump

 

[September5th]

I don't know what else to do. I simply don't. Why? Just why? Why couldn't things have stayed fine? I don't have the strength to do nothing. I can't feel nothing that isn't pain, I swear for God.
I don't know what to do. Other girls don't help, alcohol don't help, music don't help, parties don't help, entertainment don't help, college ESPECIALLY don't help.
I don't know if I even have the strength to kill myself! What an unfair piece of shit. Just when I was finally happy. Fuck. Please God, kill me...

 

[it.only.gets.worse]

I feel the same. Things might still improve for me, because I'm trying out a new antidepressant, but chances seem to become slimmer each week.

wishing you the best of luck

 

[MindFog]

True.. It's the guilt associated with it that's killing me too. My end is the only thing meaningful to do so I measure time with it..

Like wondering if I'm going to finishing reading a book b4 it or will I still be alive when an upcoming movie comes out?

It's so exhausting, I just want to get over it.

 

[Anonymus]

Since 2016 and especially since last year, as a last chance.
//
Desde el 2016 i sobretot desde l'últim any, com una última oportunitat.