Anyone else feel like their suicide is really a murder?

[Kramer]

I don't want to die. But my mental and physical problems are getting worse. I've already seen doctors and it hasn't helped. Life is murdering me. One other user on here said once that she felt like she was being forced to walk the plank.

 

[Panna]

No, I feel like it's a liberation. Once you're gone that's the end of all the troubles that plague you. If you look at it like that, how could it be considered murder in any way?

 

[Kramer]

No, I feel like it's a liberation. Once you're gone that's the end of all the troubles that plague you. If you look at it like that, how could it be considered murder in any way?

Because I don't want to have to feel the need to be liberated. I want a normal life and all that entails

 

[Sherri]

Personally I dont think of it like that. More like a liberation like someone mention, to set myself free.

 

[signifying nothing]

Loss of possibilities and choices until you only have the choice of death. This is kind of how my first suicide attempt came about, felt like everything else was done and there was only one task left.

 

[Kramer]

Loss of possibilities and choices until you only have the choice of death. This is kind of how my first suicide attempt came about, felt like everything else was done and there was only one task left.

How long ago was that?

 

[signifying nothing]

How long ago was that?

A few years ago now, strangest experience, but somewhere I had been working towards for many years.

 

[Kramer]

A few years ago now, strangest experience, but somewhere I had been working towards for many years.

Why did you stay alive years longer?

 

[NightmareTour]

Not quite murder. More like I've been fighting a war that I can never win, and the only way it'll be over is if I lose. Its not quite freedom, but it's an end that needs to happen.

 

[Deleted member 23374]

Just a thought, where "murder" serves, it's called duty/sacrifice.

 

[signifying nothing]

I guess life gets in the way, like there's still things you gotta do before you can go, responsibilities, debts to be repaid.

 

[k75]

It's weird to put into words, but I feel like I'm at war with my own mind. It's killing me, and I don't really want that even though I do. Or I'm living with a murderer, but the killer is me so I can't escape.

I don't see it as a liberation, because I don't hate life. I'm not happy or excited about the idea, just very, very sad. I remember enjoying things, and I remember being happy and not having suicidal thoughts. I can recognize that I have a lot to live for, but I can no longer feel or appreciate it. Everything is overshadowed by devastating problems that I can't fix or live with.

I just feel trapped and backed into a corner, but nobody is doing this to me but myself. I can't stop it, though. And I can't find anyone or anything else that can, either.

So yeah, it kind of feels like murder rather than a relief.

 

[AutoTap]

I don't want to die. But my mental and physical problems are getting worse. I've already seen doctors and it hasn't helped. Life is murdering me. One other user on here said once that she felt like she was being forced to walk the plank.

Yeh this pretty accurate

Not quite murder. More like I've been fighting a war that I can never win, and the only way it'll be over is if I lose. Its not quite freedom, but it's an end that needs to happen.

Couldn't have said it better.

 

[goodbyebunny]

Sometimes I feel compassion and pity for myself, yet still feel suicidal. At those times, I feel like killing myself would be victimizing myself. At other times, I feel only self loathing, and when I feel that way, the thought of killing myself feels like a relief, and a way to be free.

 

[StateOfMind]

Yep. People are playing a sick game with my life that I didn't want to enter the arena in the first place.
Only way not to play the game is ctb.
Normally I wouldn't want to die.

 

[Kramer]

Yep. People are playing a sick game with my life that I didn't want to enter the arena in the first place.
Only way not to play the game is ctb.
Normally I wouldn't want to die.

Our "player" sucks at this game.
Glad I'm not alone in this feeling

 

[Jean Améry]

Since suicide is a choice no-one or anything can force you to make that choice. You're pretty much free to stay alive until nature does the job for you.

Surely suicide isn't a pleasant choice to make but to call it murder just because one doesn't like the prospect is hardly logical or reasonable. Murder is the premeditated, illegal killing of another human-being: clearly that isn't the case if one (only) kills oneself. Might as well argue that a so called 'natural death' is murder by nature.

I think very few people actually want to die (like you if the circumstances were different they probably wouldn't kill themselves) but sometimes death probably is the best choice in bad circumstances. To be determined by the individual herself of course. If one is no longer alive one can't feel therefore there is no more suffering. At least if death actually is the end which seems to be the case.

 

[Gromit-CTB]

As others have said it's a freedom and liberation from all the troubles life throws at you.

 

[AutoTap]

As others have said it's a freedom and liberation from all the troubles life throws at you.

Yeh that's pretty accurate assuming there is no religions where we face punishment. Hopefully that doesn't happen. I'm actually scared of that happening lol

 

[Sensei]

In my native language, the common word for suicide literally translates as "self-murder". I actually think it's appropriate. When I commit suicide it's a premeditated killing of myself.

 

[bornfree]

Their acts of care are responsible for my death. Not all of their acts of care but so many acts of care that are brutal and sadistic cruelty based on ignoring how i feel or knowing how i feel but not giving a damn about making me feel more suicidal or giving me more reasons to die. Obviously their cruelty is responsible for my death too.

The devil's greatest trick was making the monsters who call themselves the human race believe the freedom to infliit, prolong and worsen suicidality indefinitely is a basis for care. They have no empathy so they really can't care and they do so much cruelty when they try to care. This cruelty is what i see as in common with murder whereas assisted suicide is by consent and it saves.

 

[Kramer]

As others have said it's a freedom and liberation from all the troubles life throws at you.

But the moments of good are taken too. I haven't had many but they're nice. Actually most of those times, at least in recent years, have been a false happiness.

I met a girl a few months ago and I thought it might lead to something only for it to fizzle out soon after. I don't have many chances with women I like so that was very disappointing.

 

[Gromit-CTB]

But the moments of good are taken too. I haven't had many but they're nice. Actually most of those times, at least in recent years, have been a false happiness.

I met a girl a few months ago and I thought it might lead to something only for it to fizzle out soon after. I don't have many chances with women I like so that was very disappointing.

I stay away from happiness as I know it's fake and false. It will be taken as fast as it's given. In the end we are responsible for our life and our death, I am choosing to ctb to stop any further physical and mental pain and to never allow anyone to hurt me again.

 

[MindFog]

No, not really, but maybe i just think this way because i want my ctb to be my decision rather than something i'm forced with. My head's a mess rn.

 

[StateOfMind]

Since suicide is a choice no-one or anything can force you to make that choice. You're pretty much free to stay alive until nature does the job for you.

Surely suicide isn't a pleasant choice to make but to call it murder just because one doesn't like the prospect is hardly logical or reasonable. Murder is the premeditated, illegal killing of another human-being: clearly that isn't the case if one (only) kills oneself. Might as well argue that a so called 'natural death' is murder by nature.

I think very few people actually want to die (like you if the circumstances were different they probably wouldn't kill themselves) but sometimes death probably is the best choice in bad circumstances. To be determined by the individual herself of course. If one is no longer alive one can't feel therefore there is no more suffering. At least if death actually is the end which seems to be the case.

Forcing people to suicide is murder in my opinion.

 

[Kramer]

I stay away from happiness as I know it's fake and false. It will be taken as fast as it's given. In the end we are responsible for our life and our death, I am choosing to ctb to stop any further physical and mental pain and to never allow anyone to hurt me again.

Around how old are you? What do you do when you spot someone you like?

 

[daddy Phil :)]

I think about it like that too. Even if I did it to myself, I still took something from someone else.

 

[Kramer]

No, not really, but maybe i just think this way because i want my ctb to be my decision rather than something i'm forced with. My head's a mess rn.

Being a victim in life is one thing, but being a victim in death too sounds pretty bad.

 

[bornfree]

I stay away from happiness as I know it's fake and false. It will be taken as fast as it's given. In the end we are responsible for our life and our death, I am choosing to ctb to stop any further physical and mental pain and to never allow anyone to hurt me again.

you put this well.

 

[Gromit-CTB]

you put this well.

Thank you