Hello @calssilva, your situation is very similar to my own. I was once given a BPD diagnosis by a psychiatrist who seemed all to eager to dole them out to patients in her ward. Some years later, I was referred to a psychiatrist who is one of my country's leading authorities on personality disorders for a formal assessment so that I could receive treatments at his clinic. After his evaluation, he determined that I didn't meet the criteria for BPD and that my results pointed toward a diagnosis for OCPD.
There was some relief at first, because this disorder appeared to make up the base for all of my other conditions (ex: my depression, my anxiety, my crippling perfectionism and anorexia nervosa). It was believed that if I could address the core issue, then I would be better equipped to live life and my other conditions would be more likely to remit.
OCPD is tricky in that the obsessions are considered egosyntonic rather than egodystonic (as is the case with OCD). People with this condition are less likely to see it as a problem and will only seek help once it starts to negatively impact their lives. Even then, treatment can be seen as a means to an end in which we can meet our high expectations rather than something that is meant to bring us relief and change our perspective.
I can understand how this condition can make you feel like dying and I really do hope that you can go into treatment with an open mind (because to make the most of it, you will have to challenge things that you have held dear for so much of your life). The clinic did end up helping me and I hope that you can benefit from yours. Even if you never become well, it is well within your means to become better.