Most often times when I think of ctb it's driven by the desire to not have to deal with whatever bullshit I am dealing with. Most often school or work. Even apart from that, smaller things that normal people would just be a little upset about like getting a traffic ticket, it reminds me how much cops suck and society sucks and every thing sucks and I'd rather be dead. Life for me is just waiting in anticipation of these things and enduring them. It is torturous
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