Venting Anti-Suicide Ironies

[FTL.Wanderer]

Seems to me the longer you survive while being suicidal, the more negatively labeled you become. And the less valuable to anyone. Jobs, friends, family... And no matter how consistent your experiences of life (negative, for example), no amount of time justifies, in the eyes of the professional communities, your judgment that your life isn't worth living. Out of one side of their mouths, they insist you stay alive. But out of the other side, they remind you every year that you're more and more a waste of space. And while I'm rambling, how about how others--including mental health professionals--can abandon you for any number of reasons, including their exalted prerogatives to choose their associates, but you don't enjoy the same prerogative to let go of yourself.

I'm furious that I live in a country where I have to accept a risk of a botched attempt and worse post-circumstances instead of being entitled to a painless, quick, professionally competent exit.

 

[suisuiforum]

Yeah it's a never-ending feedback loop. Many people tell you to "reach out" and "get help," but they don't realize that this causes them and the rest of society to alienate you even further. Also, you can never win with these situations, because it's not like letting it fester will necessarily improve anything. I wish we had legal RTD as well...

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

There is a fucked irony to it all, isn't there? You are punished for expressing suicidality, yet if you cling to life and nothing improves, you are punished for the crime of not enjoying what is a essentially a defacto prison sentence.

I am really sorry others have treated you this way. It is cruel and dishonest of them. I experience it everyday as well, the blatant hypocrisy of the anti-choice rhetoric.

My physical diseases are not improving, in fact, they are getting even worse. Anything doctors have prescribed has made the situation all the more miserable, because they are completely ignorant about what I suffer with. I wake up sick, I go to bed sick, rinse and repeat.

Everyone around me (basically just my bf and one of his family members, because I rarely see any of my friends, once in a blue moon) is fed up with my "whining and complaining." If my partner experiences pain, you never hear the end of it. However, because mine is constant and unrelenting, with no solution, it is annoying and whiny for me to express it.

I have legitimately asked him why am I forced to survive like this? Not even living at all, just existing in physical agony? Suffering from an ailment that fashions me into a burden and makes other people hate me because I am too weak and sickly to do what healthy humans can? Because I complain about the pain ravaging my body and don't have some candyfloss flavoured sanitized optimism and cheerfulness about it all?

I got no answer to that one. It is very easy for people to utter the 4 magic words, "No, don't do it." Actually having compassion and empathy for the individual they are demanding stay alive is harder.

 

[FuneralCry]

Yes, people insist that you must stay alive no matter what. They cannot comprehend the suffering you are going through as they are not experiencing it. I see the right to die as important. Sorry to hear others are treating you like that, people can be so cruel and selfish.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

You really captured that well. The longer I live the less likely I am to do anything but grip the bar and pump.