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seeya2020

Member
Nov 9, 2020
28
I'm writing this to anyone who is really fucked at the moment. Felling like everything is doomed because you have given up completely and you think your life has no future simply because you can't do what is expected. Maybe this has come out of no where for the first time and you are 100% sure things are fucked and never going to get better.

please go to the doctor and just tell them this, ask for anti depressants and anti anxiety medication.

And just see the script out. Seriously give it a proper try. Because if you keep telling yourself things are hopeless believe me they will be soon.
I have found anti depressants to be like magic, it changes the way I feel. It really isn't fair that the whole time it was just a feeling that made me feel so shit. Unfortunately while depressed I turned to smoking pot and because psychotic and violent and hurt my girlfriend. Now my reaility is fucked.

it sounds too good to be true that if I only had taken the medication I would of came out the panic I was in.

The panic lasted about 3 months. It was the most intense thing I've ever experienced. So I just wanted to share that so someone reading this who really feels like killing themselves is infact looking forward to doing it, even though no one else understands because from the outside you have a decent life on paper. Please go and try them out and stick to them. It could work for you
Just to clear up the main point I wanted to make.
For months I felt depressed/anxious because of the reaility of my life, but that was just an illusion, it was just pure depression all in my head. So please even though you feel terrible and are certain it is your own fault and it is the result of decision/actions you've made. Try the medication because you believe it
 
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sadworld

sadworld

existence is a nightmare
Aug 25, 2020
3,868
I'm glad that medication has helped you. Many people on here have tried everything already and didn't find something that worked for them. Obviously I'll also recommend everyone to try everything before actually ctb'ing but if nothing works, many members on here just see one way out... Anyway, I'm glad that you feel better and I wish you all the best! :heart: :hug:
 
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seeya2020

Member
Nov 9, 2020
28
I'm glad that medication has helped you. Many people on here have tried everything already and didn't find something that worked for them. Obviously I'll also recommend everyone to try everything before actually ctb'ing but if nothing works, many members on here just see one way out... Anyway, I'm glad that you feel better and I wish you all the best! :heart: :hug:
You know the worst part is now I feel ok but my whole life is ruined. Now I feel a different kind of hopeless because I know for a fact things are fucked but I feel indifferent. I wish I had of got the medication at the start of the year when it first hit me. I've spent 11 months being a victim to these feelings. I spend months researching how to ctb brought N brought nitrogen gas from eBay. Then lost my mind and in one weekend got arrested and I should of finished uni this year. Anyway, I'm thinking of still just drinking the SN once it comes and not waking up. Fuck I can't believe this is what I've become
 
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Sherri

Sherri

Archangel
Sep 28, 2020
13,794
I'm happy your medication worked, I've tried most of it without any success , mind sharing the name Of the anti depressant?
I'm glad that medication has helped you. Many people on here have tried everything already and didn't find something that worked for them. Obviously I'll also recommend everyone to try everything before actually ctb'ing but if nothing works, many members on here just see one way out... Anyway, I'm glad that you feel better and I wish you all the best! :heart: :hug:
I'm one of those people.
 
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seeya2020

Member
Nov 9, 2020
28
I'm happy your medication worked, I've tried most of it without any success , mind sharing the name Of the anti depressant?

I'm one of those people.

the antidepressant is Sertra 100 mg and Seroquel 50 mg.

The effect of Seroquel are like instant because it makes you tried. Which is heaps better than feeling anxious/panic.

You see I felt so shit house that I actually stated giving up. The behaviours that made me me, how I looked after myself how I cooked/clean spent my free time ect ect all started to change and now it's been like that for 11 months I feel like I've lost myself and the life I had. Which really is lost now that I've lost my girlfriend when to jail and have to see all these doctors and shit now.
I hope these meds can help you before it start to actually effect your life and not just your mind
 
Sherri

Sherri

Archangel
Sep 28, 2020
13,794
the antidepressant is Sertra 100 mg and Seroquel 50 mg.

The effect of Seroquel are like instant because it makes you tried. Which is heaps better than feeling anxious/panic.

You see I felt so shit house that I actually stated giving up. The behaviours that made me me, how I looked after myself how I cooked/clean spent my free time ect ect all started to change and now it's been like that for 11 months I feel like I've lost myself and the life I had. Which really is lost now that I've lost my girlfriend when to jail and have to see all these doctors and shit now.
I hope these meds can help you before it start to actually effect your life and not just your mind
Seems you had a tough life, sorry for your suffering. Seroquel is quetiapine I tried that, had several horrible nightmares so I stopped and setraline also didn't help me. I am what you can call the 3% who don't have a chance to heal.
 
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seeya2020

Member
Nov 9, 2020
28
Seems you had a tough life, sorry for your suffering. Seroquel is quetiapine I tried that, had several horrible nightmares so I stopped and setraline also didn't help me. I am what you can call the 3% who don't have a chance to heal.
Yeah the dreams can be pretty crazy hey.
Tbh I haven't recovered or am actually better. It's just now I don't panic non stop. I am in a bad habit at the moment of taking it before bed and when I wake up and then sleep for another 5 hrs. I'm sleeping like 16 hrs each day.
 
Sherri

Sherri

Archangel
Sep 28, 2020
13,794
Yeah the dreams can be pretty crazy hey.
Tbh I haven't recovered or am actually better. It's just now I don't panic non stop. I am in a bad habit at the moment of taking it before bed and when I wake up and then sleep for another 5 hrs. I'm sleeping like 16 hrs each day.
I used to do that with ambien, taking it during the day. Still do sometimes. Like I just wanna sleep non stop so I can't stare at life. Even noises from cars annoy me.
 
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seeya2020

Member
Nov 9, 2020
28
I used to do that with ambien, taking it during the day. Still do sometimes. Like I just wanna sleep non stop so I can't stare at life. Even noises from cars annoy me.
Everything is a reminder to me. Just seeing the world go by no matter what it is makes me realise how I'm not apart of it an have fucked the good life I could of had.
Was so easily avoidable too by just taking the meds and have a break until they worked.
I actually went proper psychotic/paranoid. The thing is no one knows how you're feeling. Like if people knew how out of the ordinary it is to feel like that they'd force feed you medications and things to try and save you from it because it's unbearable. But when you yourself are experiencing it it feels like you deserve it
 
Sherri

Sherri

Archangel
Sep 28, 2020
13,794
Everything is a reminder to me. Just seeing the world go by no matter what it is makes me realise how I'm not apart of it an have fucked the good life I could of had.
Was so easily avoidable too by just taking the meds and have a break until they worked.
I actually went proper psychotic/paranoid. The thing is no one knows how you're feeling. Like if people knew how out of the ordinary it is to feel like that they'd force feed you medications and things to try and save you from it because it's unbearable. But when you yourself are experiencing it it feels like you deserve it
When you say you deserve it, don't be so hard on yourself, you seem like a good genuine person. Forget the past that's the worst part for me. Can't even imagine how jail is, you are brave to go trough all that. I also wish like you said that the so called normal people experienced one day like it is to be us. If you ever wanna vent I'm here for you :hug:
 
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Elementalist
Nov 11, 2020
885
Your lucky that it worked. I have severe anxiety and depression. Have tried therapies , meds, and I still am anxious and depressed. I don't know if my anxiety and depression can actually get good enough where it's worth living.
 

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