Eazy
𝙼𝙸𝚂𝚂𝙸𝙽𝙶
- Mar 13, 2026
- 17
Whenever I read the posts on his forum, I get so angry. Not because I dislike everyone or the things they have to say, but because I relate to all the thoughts and feelings people share here, and I know that most of these people will not get better. Since Ive been on this forum Ive read 3 peoples final words and thoughts before taking their own lives. I know that this rumination only leads to more sureness in the way people feel. I do not want to die. Something in me persists although I am weak to the ups and downs of life. Last year i made alot of good memories, but I had to move away from where I was, and now those people that I loved and made those meories with are gone. I was happy then, so I know that I can be happy. but my habits have prevented me from making new friends, persuing my hobbies, and living a life i want to live and being a person that I'm not disgusted with. If being happy is within reach then i need to change those things about myself, i need to throw myself into my hobbies, as well as new enviorments with new people, in order to make those bonds, and become a person that is capable enough to deal with lifes woes. The end result of people that feed this suicidal weakness is so clear to me, and i don't say that in a pretentious way, i truly suffer from it and it has kept me in a limbo of not knowing wether i want to live or die. Now I know i need to die to myself in a way, be someone different in order to achieve what I want out of life. Not pretend to be someone, or act like a different person, but just be the version myself that can get what I want out of life. That can reach for it until they get it. So thats what I have to do. I'd rather fail in the act of trying than hanging up my hat in order to keep my dignity thinking ill find something better in the afterlife, a place ive never been.
