Venting Another failed attempt.

[grimmtheripper]

I've attempted 8 different times now, the most recent being this past December. Kinda shatters the self esteem when you can't even kill yourself properly. I've lost so many important people to me to suicide. Their suffering has ended. When will mine?

 

[outrider567]

I want to succeed also(and today I'm at a 9.5), but it must be delayed until my brother succumbs to his lung cancer--We are quite close and if I CTB'ed now, it would only hasten his own demise--I would see myself as a selfish coward if I ended my own life while he is still strongly fighting for his

 

[befree]

I've attempted 8 different times now, the most recent being this past December. Kinda shatters the self esteem when you can't even kill yourself properly. I've lost so many important people to me to suicide. Their suffering has ended. When will mine?

I´m sorry to hear that. I can imagine how you feel. Which methods did you use ? And what could be the reasons for the failure ?

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds really awful what you went through. The fear of failure is the main thing that holds me back from ctb personally, no one should have to resort to risky methods, we all deserve the option of a peaceful exit at a time of our own choosing. I'm sorry that you are suffering, I wish you the best in whatever happens.

 

[grimmtheripper]

I´m sorry to hear that. I can imagine how you feel. Which methods did you use ? And what could be the reasons for the failure ?

Mostly OD during my active addiction. I just keep getting caught or I still somehow wake up. I'm not really sure where it is I've been going wrong but I'm afraid if I fail again, I could end up in a far worse situation then I'm already in. (Paralyzed, braindead and hooked to machines, who knows.) I need a more direct method. My first thought was a gun but I can't legally own one after my several in patient visits and I dunno the first thing about obtaining one any other way.

I want to succeed also(and today I'm at a 9.5), but it must be delayed until my brother succumbs to his lung cancer--We are quite close and if I CTB'ed now, it would only hasten his own demise--I would see myself as a selfish coward if I ended my own life while he is still strongly fighting for his

I know how difficult it is to continue living purely for the sake of others. I admire your courage.

I want to succeed also(and today I'm at a 9.5), but it must be delayed until my brother succumbs to his lung cancer--We are quite close and if I CTB'ed now, it would only hasten his own demise--I would see myself as a selfish coward if I ended my own life while he is still strongly fighting for his

I know how difficult it is to continue living purely for the sake of others. I admire your courage.

That sounds really awful what you went through. The fear of failure is the main thing that holds me back from ctb personally, no one should have to resort to risky methods, we all deserve the option of a peaceful exit at a time of our own choosing. I'm sorry that you are suffering, I wish you the best in whatever happens.

I mostly afraid of messing it up beyond repair. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm not really the same after having attempted but it could have been much worse.

 

[befree]

Ok, I understand. So you have to find the right method for you. Have you read the PPH (Peaceful pill handbook) yet ?

PPeH_April_2022.pdf - AnonFiles

anonfiles.com

Not every method is suitable for every person and every place. And often it also depends on the financial situation.

 

[grimmtheripper]

Ok, I understand. So you have to find the right method for you. Have you read the PPH (Peaceful pill handbook) yet ?

PPeH_April_2022.pdf - AnonFiles

anonfiles.com

Not every method is suitable for every person and every place. And often it also depends on the financial situation.

I haven't read that yet; but I'll be sure to check it out! Thank you.

 

[befree]

Another book:

Guide to a Humane Self-Chosen Death 2009 (Admiraal Pieter) (z-lib.org).epub - AnonFiles

anonfiles.com