Venting An online relationship is hurting me

[slugcat]

Hi, I haven't posted on this site for a while because I was feeling better.
But something happened and i fell back into my old ways.
I made a friend online and we started talking on discord. it went better than I expected. But this person had a habit of flirting jokingly and even though I tried not to think of it as honest, I caught feelings.
When we met, he had just stopped talking to a friend he was in love with.
I don't know the full story, but I assume they got back in touch 2 days ago.
Recently he has been ignoring me after sending over 20,000 messages in 2 weeks.
I feel terrible, I don't know why this is affecting me so much. I tried not to fall in love with him, but he called me every day and kept flirting with me.
And suddenly he's distant. I had been doing better recently, started working out and stopped self-harming.
But yesterday, after hours of crying and trying my usual 'safe' coping mechanism, I cut myself again.
I don't know what to do. I think I should leave, but there's a part of me that still has hope that he might like me one day.

Thank you for reading this. I needed to tell someone.

 

[Higurashi415]

Hey, I feel you. I dont think you'd treat someone you loved the way he treated you. For this reason, if I were you, I'd try to forget it. It could also be that he was never truly over his love for his friend, so there could be an asimmetry there between what you feel towards him and what he feels towards you. In this case he wouldn't be an asshole, but still, I suspect you'd be better off trying to do your thing and leave. my 2 cents

 

[slugcat]

Hey, I feel you. I dont think you'd treat someone you loved the way he treated you. For this reason, if I were you, I'd try to forget it. It could also be that he was never truly over his love for his friend, so there could be an asimmetry there between what you feel towards him and what he feels towards you. In this case he wouldn't be an asshole, but still, I suspect you'd be better off trying to do your thing and leave. my 2 cents

i want to leave, I really do, and im gonna try to muster the courage to do it.
I think he was never over her, and he never felt anything for me. he was just playing around while he waited for her to come back.

 

[Higurashi415]

i want to leave, I really do, and im gonna try to muster the courage to do it.
I think he was never over her, and he never felt anything for me. he was just playing around while he waited for her to come back.

I've been there. I'm really sorry. It sucks. How long has this been going on?

 

[slugcat]

I've been there. I'm really sorry. It sucks. How long has this been going on?

iv known him for a few months, actively talking for 3 weeks.
but like talking all day long. so it went pretty fast.
I catch feelings quite easily I think.

 

[Higurashi415]

iv known him for a few months, actively talking for 3 weeks.
but like talking all day long. so it went pretty fast.
I catch feelings quite easily I think.

It must've been really intense. I think sometimes we forget that our entertainment could come at the expense of someone else. I'm sorry

 

[slugcat]

It must've been really intense. I think sometimes we forget that our entertainment could come at the expense of someone else. I'm sorry

Hey I wanted to update you, cause this thread really helped me do what I did.
I sent him a text yesterday, explaining the situation and asking to stop chatting.
He got really confused and started saying things like "what would you want us to be if I was free" or "I would date you" while being quite clear at the same time that he's not gonna leave her.
So that was quite painful, but I powered through and said goodbye.
It took a few hours to get him to stop talking but its done.
I feel like the pain in my stomach is gone and I can finally do things again.
Thank you for replying to this thread and helping me.

Have a beautiful day.

 

[Higurashi415]

I'm very happy about that ;)
it can be really hard to see through this kind of behavior, I'm glad you managed to do it ;)