Am i terrible human?

[starryeyedgemini]

Am i terrible human for considering CTB when i have a young child? Im struggling financially and know it will only ger worse. His dad is still around so he will still have one parent.

 

[Sittichmutter]

No, you are not a terrible human. You are in desperate pain and you need help.
And your child loves you and needs you too.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

My instinct or empathy says no. I think nobody can fairly judge that.

 

[JustTooHard]

I have kids too if you want to talk, hugs

 

[Nothingtoadd]

Am i terrible human for considering CTB when i have a young child? Im struggling financially and know it will only ger worse. His dad is still around so he will still have one parent.

No sometimes we makes mistakes and it's not possible for everyone to recover from that.

 

[ewigeruhe]

I think nobody can or has the right to judge somebody else only you yourself can make this assessment.
I hope you'll find the right thing to do into yourself whatever that may be.

 

[FuneralCry]

No, not for considering ctb. After all, we live in such a cruel and unfair world, where there is no limit as to how much we can suffer. I cannot imagine how hard it must be, being in that situation. I'm sorry that you are going through this.

 

[betternever2havbeen]

I think you have to consider it very very carefully if you have children and only take that option as a last resort after you have tried absolutely everything else.

 

[Judy Garland]

No, you are not a bad human. You're in so much pain, that you want to die. That doesn't make you bad, that makes you desperate to feel better. Please be easy on yourself. You're doing the best you can. We always are, even when we think we could have done better...even on your worst days, you are doing the best you can. Please remember that.

 

[starryeyedgemini]

Its just so hard. No matter what i do to try and improve my situation it never works. I work my ass off just to survive/ keep my head above water. I never wanted to be a single parent. Every man who has ever said that they love me/wanted to marry me has left me. Im worried ill be alone as i find it really difficult to trust men after whats happened recently. Maybe im not worthy of a loving relationship and some men see single mums as easy prey. Im not really living im just coasting one day at a time.

 

[whatevs]

If you are going to be an apathetic and depressed/bitter mother then it shouldn't be a great loss if you decide to leave. Sometimes forcing things can be worse. Only stay if you see possibilities of improving IMO.

 

[September Salt]

As others have said, you're not terrible but you're in a lot of pain. I understand that things are really tough but they would likely be worse for your young daughter if you left even though her dad is still around. I've been thinking of leaving myself but I spoke to my brother just now and I realized how much it would hurt him, and he's a lot older than your daughter. I hope you can keep fighting for her and only leave if there are absolutely no other options. I'm not ruling out ctb yet but I'm going to take a harder look at alternatives.

 

[Marktheghost]

No,that doesn't make you a terrible human.

 

[Euthanza]

If possible, you can apply for insurance that covers suicide, but you won't be able to CTB soon, afaik they have 2-3 years threshold before the claim. That will show you're a loving mother, it's just so unfortunate you're in severe problems that you can't handle any longer. I'm sorry for both of you and the child.

 

[Darkover]

not much point in living a miserable lifetime, i'd hate to be a mother to much responsibility, lucky i was a born a male and don't have that responsibility placed on me, euthanasia should be avaiable to everyone who wants it, my mother tried to kill her self a few time when was younger just a shame she wasn't allowed to but it would be better to never be alive in this first place

 

[mofumofu]

A parent committing suicide or dying can be very emotionally and psychologically traumatizing or stunting for children, Killing yourself of-course is a bad thing for them, they will cry themselves to sleep many nights over not having a mother, they might even blame themselves for your passing.

here is a small glimpse into the agony you committing suicide would initially inflict on them.
My point being, that this is the reality of how you decision can affect the people around you, and it's important that you try to understand the gravity of the decision to end your life.

I don't think you are a terrible person for considering suicide in your circumstances, the very fact that you are considering their feelings tells me that you are not a terrible person. You are a victim, and nothing is ever so black and white. I personally consider you catching the bus to be harmful to them, but I don't think it's right that some people should just always suffer and self sacrifice only for the benefit of others. and I don't think it would be life destroying, or prevent them from having a happy life if you were to ctb. unfortunately for us It's human instinct to suffer for others especially your own family, to ensure their survival and the propagation of our genes or something rather. if you do overcome the this nurture instinct and the instinct for self preservation, then it says a lot about how immensely you were suffering and not that you are a bad/immoral person or anything.

you can also can look at it from the perspective of net positives/negatives, if you CTB then will it cause more intense and long lasting suffering in the world than if you were to just live on?

 

[Lost Magic]

You're not terrible at all. You are obviously in a lot of pain. I'll be honest, it does complicate things that you have a young child. Maybe try and get some treatment and work through it before making any hasty decisions.