Am I dead or alive

[Sleepdrifter]

This is a weird post so not sure where else to post. I'm in my late 30s and I'm not sure if I am alive. My most important life goal was to get a decent education, meet someone nice, and keep at least some friends or family. Since losing all of that I don't feel alive, like things keep moving, but it's not clear sure how or why. I have a job, make a little money and look after myself, have my own hobbies and projects, but this seems like being dead. Doctors just humiliate me or throw meds at me. Now I'm old and have missed out on everything while living in poverty. It's all impossible to deal with so I don't. Other people don't know what to make of me. I can make friends and make other people laugh easily, but since I'm dead or whatever, it seems pointless. It's not about understimulation or social competition, more like what being dead must be like. Anyway thanks for reading and hope someone else relates.

 

[FuneralCry]

In a way I have feel like I have died inside, but I am still breathing, I think it is what this life can do to people. It can be a depressing existence. I think in many cases when people are unable to achieve what they want and feel like they have no purpose in being here, they can die inside and are just existing. I'm sorry you are going through this, I wish you well.

 

[Deleted member 8975]

I often feel this way and it's worsening Sleepdrifter.

Have you read up on this theory as to why it might feel this way? There is a condition that revolves around actual brain death…like brain cells dieing I think.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cotard_delusion