Already Slipping Back Into Darkness

[WillOxyWork]

I felt a glimmer of hope yesterday after I thought I didn't have the resolve to end my own life, but that has since faded. I've realized that the only way I've been able to cope with my depression throughout my life was with video games, music, and weed, and those were the only things that kept me grounded. And now all of those things are ruined by tinnitus and visual snow. I have no means to cope anymore. I'm starting to feel that I may make a serious attempt soon.

 

[Empty77]

I felt a glimmer of hope yesterday after I thought I didn't have the resolve to end my own life, but that has since faded. I've realized that the only way I've been able to cope with my depression throughout my life was with video games, music, and weed, and those were the only things that kept me grounded. And now all of those things are ruined by tinnitus and visual snow. I have no means to cope anymore. I'm starting to feel that I may make a serious attempt soon.

I'm sorry to read about how you're feeling; life can be a very dark place. I'll pray that you find the inner strength that's seen you through to today.

 

[WillOxyWork]

Thanks. I think I've been dead inside a long time, and it's just so apparent now that I can't enjoy the few things that distracted my from what an empty shell I am. I never had any ambition. All I wanted to do was play video games, listen to music, and get stoned. It kept me feeling okay, and now that it's gone, I'm just a husk.

 

[Empty77]

Well, I think you're doing really well and you should be proud of yourself. After two and a half years to hell and back, I want to give back, make a difference - in a positive way. My therapy group Mentor wants me to run the classes with him now. I'm not gonna let this take me, but I won't judge anyone who feels differently; just let them all know I'm here if they wanna chat. Take it easy la. Tomorrow is another day, but a special day; Liverpool get to lift their 4th Trophy - this one, extra special - The PL! Promise you'll stay well and watch the presentation - free-view, tomoz, 20:00. Sadly, I'm more than old enough to recall LFC's last win in 1990 - I'll be crying happy tears tomorrow - All welcome to join me!

 

[WillOxyWork]

I'm so empty that I haven't cared about sports since I was a child. I never cared about anything. It's all so clear to me now. I've been blaming my problems on tinnitus and visual snow but that's only because they stopped me from doing the things that distracted me from what an empty human I am. I've never had any drive. There's no purpose to my existence.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

I had a somewhat similar experience a while ago. When I was 16 I attempted suicide via partial hanging and the pain was too much for me to go through with it. After going home I felt so defeated and thought that maybe suicide just couldn't be for me. Off the back of that I became more optimistic, thinking I might be able to live life happily. I epic failed lmao, now 18 and I'm trying to kill myself again

 

[WillOxyWork]

I had a somewhat similar experience a while ago. When I was 16 I attempted suicide via partial hanging and the pain was too much for me to go through with it. After going home I felt so defeated and thought that maybe suicide just couldn't be for me. Off the back of that I became more optimistic, thinking I might be able to live life happily. I epic failed lmao, now 18 and I'm trying to kill myself again

My optimism didn't even last more than a day, lol.