Venting Almost jumped last night

[Lux]

Last night, it's been about 22 hours since then already, I almost jumped off of a cliff.

I was so excited to just do it, but then the SI kicked in and I just couldn't. I was just standing there and looking down over the edge. Then I sat on the edge and listened to some music hoping that I would just fall.

After an hour of not being able to push my self over the edge for some reason, I just went home.

I'm kind of pissed. I don't get why it's so hard.

 

[LastWhisper]

Oh, I can relate. It happened to me about 6 years ago. It's really not so easy to do, and the only thing that stopped me was a patrol police car down below, because they can notice the jump and call the ambulance. They probably drive there due to my talk with some person about suicide before I went on that building.

 

[Nunyabinniss]

I hate that! I wish i had successfully shot myself when I didn't have a SI, I took a lot of Ambien and probably was drunk as well about nine years ago and obviously failed as I was trying to trigger with my toe in this small small office Accidentally pulled the trigger too soon and then got spooked that my neighbors would hear and call the cops to this day I'm surprised that they didn't call the cops at all that shit was loud that's about all I remember. For me it's been a balance of trying to lower my survival instinct well lowerinFor me it's been a balance of trying to lower my survival instinct while also still being in control of myself enough to pull the trigger, kick the bucket. Catch the bus. It was a funny story, Just ended up plugging the hole in the ceiling with a sock and putting some spackle all over it luckily I was renting at the time. Now I feel like an asshole but luckily it was a giant rental and not from an individual. Haha anyway isn't life funny.

 

[Niirvana]

Maybe u have to considerate another method, if u really want to ctb

 

[Lux]

Maybe u have to considerate another method, if u really want to ctb

Yeah. I know I can always hang myself but it's not that fast and I don't have a place to go where no one can find me.