Almost done

[speck]

I keep packing and unpacking my bag. I can't stop the anxiety about the cycle of events- if I leave today to go ctb, then I won't be back in time on Monday for my exam (DUH?! This is literally the point??)
Even though I know time is stacked against me and my relationship is literally unsalvageable and I've literally been told that he won't give his "life" to me and he would never marry me- he will say something that makes me spin in my web and think maybe I can do what he said I should do??? Then he'll love me again and he will never leave me and I won't have to die. Because if I had a family all the pain would go away.

I have n and odansetron and literally every reason to go- there is no living after he leaves.
I don't want to be spiteful by ctb at home and I'm afraid of possibly haunting this house forever (lol)- but I wish I could go here in my house in my bed because I'm lonely.

I packed and unpacked today and I'm sitting here wondering tomorrow?? Next week??

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry for all the suffering that has brought you to this point. I wish you the best in whatever you decide.

 

[Crazy4u]

i had similar thoughts myself. I work and study and can't see the point. I decided it is less stressful to ctb after I finish my semester. I suggest you give it a try and study for the exam. Goof luck. Please ignore the person with laughing emoji. some people are trolls