Venting Alcoholism

[l1ablemistakes]

I remember growing up and hearing my parents warn me about how alcoholism runs in our family. Yeah right. It would never be me.

Shock and horror! I'm a 22 year old alcoholic now. I drink about a bottle and a half of wine every day. As a healthcare worker I know exactly how bad that is. Last blood tests my liver and cholesterol were fucked. But I'm hoping I won't survive long enough to live the consequences. It's the only thing that can make me not think. Like genuinely not exist anymore. I also know it'll take away my survival instincts so I can finally do this properly.

Only a few people know I'm an alcoholic. I'm very high functioning. I feel like physical garbage almost always but I'm great at hiding it. I'm chronically ill so even if I took care of myself I'd probably still feel like shit. People keep telling me I need to quit and get sober but how do I find the motivation knowing I'll be dead in 6 months? Probably sooner if I go sober.

 

[NameOfAction]

GHB? Kava?

Why'd you pick the most hypotoxic drug to numb yourself with?
Wouldn't you rather not acquire a yellow hue before it's time?

 

[l1ablemistakes]

GHB? Kava?

Why'd you pick the most hypotoxic drug to numb yourself with?
Wouldn't you rather not acquire a yellow hue before it's time?

I have a dealer so I can get ket, coke, md, whatever. Im also on medi weed. I guess it's just ritual.

 

[youpi]

Replace alcohol with GHB ?
I too, suffer from alcoholism, my grandpa was one, i was warned like you, it took 20 years to happen until i lived next to a small shop selling beers..

 

[l1ablemistakes]

Replace alcohol with GHB ?

I'd replace it with anything. I'm in Australia so idk where to get anything. DM me if you know please :')

 

[youpi]

I'd replace it with anything. I'm in Australia so idk where to get anything. DM me if you know please :')

Wait you are alcoholic or GHBholic?
Replace alcohol with GHB and taper down man, it's going to be fun!
Also you have medical weed man, I don't want to make it less hard than it is but you can kick that alcohol with a benzo + weed + GHB easily!

 

[5er50ji]

I'm 27 and relapsed really bad recently after 2 years not drinking I hate myself for it and it's destroying me I don't want to be here anymore

 

[Dawns]

Why'd you pick the most hypotoxic drug to numb yourself with?

Not OP, but maybe because it's the most widely available, legal, and socially acceptable to use. just my two cents

 

[joey2424]

I am also a high functioning alcoholic. I've gone through phases of it several times in my life - where it becomes bad, then I make sure not to have it in the house, manage to taper back down to "socially acceptable" levels. Then it creeps back up and I repeat.

Right now I am quite bad and not attempting to resist. I am planning to ctb in the next couple weeks so I am not taking care of myself anymore.

 

[NameOfAction]

Not OP, but maybe because it's the most widely available, legal, and socially acceptable to use. just my two cents

True to all three points, absolutely ridiculous that it's the case. It has very little recreational value, absolutely no valid medicinal use (except as rubbing alcohol) and very, very high probability of injury.

I really can't condemn substance use and on occasion even condone it, but alcohol is probably the only one I can't defend. Literally anything is less likely to permanently injure

 

[l1ablemistakes]

True to all three points, absolutely ridiculous that it's the case. It has very little recreational value, absolutely no valid medicinal use (except as rubbing alcohol) and very, very high probability of injury.

I really can't condemn substance use and on occasion even condone it, but alcohol is probably the only one I can't defend. Literally anything is less likely to permanently injure

I know. I'm trying to quit.

 

[NameOfAction]

I know. I'm trying to quit.

I'm glad. I know that you know. Just, you do in fact deserve much better and should know that as well