Alcoholic parent? Help me please

[LonelyLight]

Hello... after taking a few weeks away I am back... not sure anyone noticed but hey again...
My reason for coming back and posting is I need help please..
Can anyone who has an alcoholic family member particularly a parent, please message me, if you wouldn't mind.
They are also suicidal so if you have a family member like that I'd like to talk to you.
I need someone to talk to.
I'll explain further in PM.
I think I am losing my mind finally.
Please and thank you. I'm feeling desperate.

 

[freedommatrix]

Hey, I've sent you a PM.

 

[voyager]

Welcome back, and I did notice. Had some alcoholics in my vicinity, not least myself to a degree. Not sure I can help you though, because I never suffered from them or myself.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Have you ever been to Al-Anon? I ask because I have, and their dogma correlates with my practice of boundaries.

Sharing here:

Your life, your emotions, your thoughts, your opinions, your actions, etc. are all in your yard. For an alcoholic parent or any other person, all of the same is in their yard. You are responsible for your yard, they are responsible for what is in theirs. One may feel like they're losing their minds when they don't know where their yard ends and another's begins, but the above should help you to see the difference.

The safest and healthiest course of action is to recognize what is in their yard. You cannot control it. A drinker will drink. If they have stopped drinking, they may at any time drink again. If they are going to suicide, they will suicide. Alcoholic parents make the child feel they have the power to control the parent or their actions. You cannot. It's a dangling and unobtainable carrot.

I compassionately suggest you disengage from their behavior, tell them it is their responsibility and, while you wish them well, you will not discuss it further. Then get support from a friend, from someone on here, and/or in Al-Anon when you feel yourself getting drawn back into thinking you have responsibility or control over this, or the parent is trying to draw you back in and you feel your resolve weakening.