Agony over leaving lived ones

[GreenTree]

Im in so much agony over the pain my loved ones would feel if I ctb. . Why are we put in this unbearable situation. If god is real I wish he helped me. I'm torn between badly wanting my pain too end and leaving family devastated. It's an awful situation too be in.

 

[PeacefulTonic]

Living for the sake of others has got to be one of the most miserable feelings in the world

 

[Dear Agony]

That's the only reason I'm still here. More specifically my mom, because I think the rest of the family would "manage". I'm 100% sure I would ruin my mom's life if I CTB, or worse, make her follow the same path.

 

[Munder]

I feel your pain. What have my loved one do to deserve the pain caused by me CTB?

 

[Mardiha]

I totally understand..I am same…I have half my loved ones gone…my mom died this year and adds to my misery so I want to be with her as everyday without her kills me more…but I am so close with my brother and he has helped me so much to survive and the thought of hurting him kills me…also, just leaving him and knowing I won't be with him kills me…so ya I'm sorry you are going through this…it is a horrible feeling…torture.

 

[Totally_nothin]

I can say that i understand you, but i can't relate - many months ago i've stopped loving my parents so even if they would say "don't do it because of me" it would be just nothing for me, anyway, i have one friend with who I spoke about this few times, and he never asked me on reasons or anything, the only question was always "why?" Just "why do u feel like that?" And after telling them my reasons i felt better, he always told me "pleasa stay safe" and then i somehow survived to another day

 

[Deadweight]

My suicide would fuck people in my life up, no matter how well my suicide note explains my reasons. It's what's keeping me here, but I hate the fact that it takes ctb off the table and that's the option I want the most. Also I've been a selfish asshole in the past, and the guilt makes me feel like ctb really would be a selfish thing to do.

 

[Ch92921]

It this way I am selfish, sorry.

 

[FuneralCry]

Of course others would be sad, but I never asked to exist in the first place. We all have the right to exit this world at a time of our own choosing. It would be selfish for them to expect me to suffer for decades. I do understand not wanting to cause pain to others. Suicide is a pain cycle, to end our own it passes it on to other people. The society should allow euthanasia and if this was an option then people can have conversations about it with family members and this may help them come to terms with the persons decision.

 

[apathetic.]

Living for the sake of others has got to be one of the most miserable feelings in the world

It is, very miserable and painful.

It this way I am selfish, sorry.

Since they say it's ok to be selfish, we should put ourselves first over anyone else.

 

[SuicideRun]

I don't want to be misled and I don't want to judge, but to take the last step towards CTB a little selfishness must be present and think about ourselves in the last second, in the last breath. I think

 

[Journeytoletgo]

I am sorry you're in such a horrible situation that leaves you with hard choices to make. Living for others is not fulfilling and desirable you will end up worse. It's selfish of others to expect someone to stick around in unbearable physical, mental/brain, emotional pain because they can't handle the loss. I relate. It's a hard choice to make however you have to look out for you.

 

[sfabians]

You could leave them all your property and savings, if you have any.

 

[deflationary]

It is indeed agonizing. I'm convinced this is every bit as awful of a fate as throwing some life-loving person in prison for the rest of his days for a crime that he didn't commit. In fact that's a pretty close analogy to this situation.

 

[GreenTree]

I got a 20 year old daughter and it would kill my mum and many others. I hate it. Failed before and another failure I cannot hack the aftermath. So done with this world and so called life. What's it all about.

 

[cocainenosejobs]

It's the most painful feeling.
I am the only person my cat grew up around and is trusting of, I know he would be waiting for me to come home and I know my sister would be crushed.