afraid of hope

[fox_wannabe]

I am just scared of being hopeful really. I mean I spend most time in weary state of low grade pain. I have many painful memories and no real goal including even simplest ones like pleasure.
I want to go but there are these happy moments between boredom and anxiety. I really don't want to spend next 20 years or even 1 year in that state.

Do you also feel the same? Even sometimes?

 

[Diesel_Punk]

This is literally how I feel, couldn't have put it better myself. In my experience hope has always only been a prelude to disappointment and with no attainable goals other than just getting the next bit of dopamine living the rest of my life like that hardly seems worth it.

 

[fox_wannabe]

This is literally how I feel, couldn't have put it better myself. In my experience hope has always only been a prelude to disappointment and with no attainable goals other than just getting the next bit of dopamine living the rest of my life like that hardly seems worth it.

Thanks for that moment, It feels so lonely sometimes having that thoughts. I was disappointed in so many ways I feel like I died many times already.

 

[insanedoomer]

hope is real poison .

 

[fox_wannabe]

hope is real poison .

I think life is, it is deadly sexual disease with mortality worse than aids.

 

[insanedoomer]

I think life is, it is deadly sexual disease with mortality worse than aids.

sex is a worst trap .

 

[WaaaghEnjoyer]

The Master (from Fallout 1), just before CTB, tells the main character the following:

I . . . don't think that I can continue. Continue? To have done the things I have done in the name of progress and healing. It was madness. I can see that now. Madness. Madness? There is no hope. Leave now, leave while you still have hope . .

He could not live with his mistake yet he thought that hope is a good thing to have.

However, not to spoil anything but the ending of Fallout 1 isn't a happy one.

I forgot what message I was trying to transmit here but I guess it's that there are examples in fiction of hope not being entirely beneficial.

 

[FuneralCry]

I do not like hope and having any at this point would be delusional for me. I would rather just see things for what they are and accept hopelessness. It is painful when hope is taken away so I see it as better to have none in the first place. If you have nothing, there is nothing to lose. Every time I have had hope in the past, it has been taken away. I understand why you would be afraid of hope.