Venting Afraid I won't make any friends in college

[ihateittoo]

I just started college and im worried that I won't be able to meet people. I am not a very outgoing person and I find it rare that I am in situations where I meet someone. It doesn't help that I am very physically unattractive. I do have friends and roommates, but I'm sort of in a weird cross section where everyone else has other friend groups to rely on. I worry that everything is gonna be just like high school. I feel so awkward just going up and introducing myself to people. It feels like no one would ever be interested in being my friend because of the way I look.

There doesn't feel like there is an end to any of the issues im going through. My insecurities are things I can't change and I am not going to live my life as an underireable freak.

I have my CTB plan ready, I know the shotgun I am going to buy, I'd send a link if it wouldn't give away my location due to it being a very local supplier. It is a 12 gauge pump action shotgun that will cost me around $300. I just need to work on saving my money for a little bit and I will be able to get it. From there I will probably drive to an empty parking lot or some other secluded place late at night and shoot myself in my car. I don't wanna leave a note or anything, I just am ready for this all to be over. I have wanted to do this for years.

It gets so lonely for me at night, I miss texting people a lot. Im losing my mind sitting here doing nothing. I can't help but feel I'll never find anyone who really gets what I'm going through. The only person I've ever met who really understands me loves someone else, and i'll just have to accept that he will never see me the way I see him.

 

[Gild-Holm-’Ur]

Ah man, I think every friend I ever made was through playing dungeons and dragons (literally, even my ex) so I can't offer any words of wisdom. But I'll send my care bear friendship stare your way. (watching retro cartoons on YouTube right now.

 

[ihateittoo]

Ah man, I think every friend I ever made was through playing dungeons and dragons (literally, even my ex) so I can't offer any words of wisdom. But I'll send my care bear friendship stare your way. (watching retro cartoons on YouTube right now.

which cartoons? not sure what qualifies as retro but I love the show home movies. It was an early adult swim show. Very similar to Dr Katz professional therapist. Those shows are both older than me so I say its retro.

 

[Gild-Holm-’Ur]

Just YouTube autoplay that's going through old 80s cartoons like Thundar the Barbarian and the like.

I love Home Movies - I'll sing 'Freaky, Outie.' when I'm feeling absurdist, but no one ever gets the reference. In a way it makes it better.

 

[Rihan]

I'm in the very situation you're dreading (I'm in my second year of college and have no friends)... So I have nothing helpful to say. I hope that you can find someone who truly understands you, although that's far easier said than done.

 

[zzkhule]

I just started college and im worried that I won't be able to meet people. I am not a very outgoing person and I find it rare that I am in situations where I meet someone. It doesn't help that I am very physically unattractive. I do have friends and roommates, but I'm sort of in a weird cross section where everyone else has other friend groups to rely on. I worry that everything is gonna be just like high school. I feel so awkward just going up and introducing myself to people. It feels like no one would ever be interested in being my friend because of the way I look.

There doesn't feel like there is an end to any of the issues im going through. My insecurities are things I can't change and I am not going to live my life as an underireable freak.

I have my CTB plan ready, I know the shotgun I am going to buy, I'd send a link if it wouldn't give away my location due to it being a very local supplier. It is a 12 gauge pump action shotgun that will cost me around $300. I just need to work on saving my money for a little bit and I will be able to get it. From there I will probably drive to an empty parking lot or some other secluded place late at night and shoot myself in my car. I don't wanna leave a note or anything, I just am ready for this all to be over. I have wanted to do this for years.

It gets so lonely for me at night, I miss texting people a lot. Im losing my mind sitting here doing nothing. I can't help but feel I'll never find anyone who really gets what I'm going through. The only person I've ever met who really understands me loves someone else, and i'll just have to accept that he will never see me the way I see him.

i feel very much the same. third year of college, I barely have friends, I feel unlovable, and whenever someone tries to reassure me their words don't land and I still feel like I am alone, like there is always 6ft pole separating me and other people

 

[Gloomic]

Pretty privilege is real. Scientifically proven. Being physically unattractive myself, I learned how to just accept that people's first impression is to avoid me, but there are some people who won't care if you look a certain way and will still interact with you. I always say that you don't need to be on a desperate search to find those people, just let them come within time because rushing is how you make the mistake of meeting the wrong people. If you're outdoors doing things and not always inside the house, you will eventually bump into new people whether you make the first move or not.

 

[ctb_warrior]

Don't worry too much about it. When you don't worry about it, you don't get conscious, and when you don't get conscious, you are able to interact with people around you on autopilot. I am an introvert, I had to push myself to meet and greet in college. After that, people started approaching me because when I wish to no longer die, it takes away all fear in my mind. I have nothing to lose, only to gain.
Have a confident positive persona and people will be attracted to you. Looks don't matter, personality matters. I had a classmate, he was so ugly, and he didn't even know how to communicate in English properly, but he was outgoing and he didn't fear if he had to talk to anyone. Several years later, he's got an onsite opportunity in Norway, from India. He's living there for 7-8 years now.
So, chill while you are on earth and be fearless because you've nothing to lose
P.s. Don't tell anyone in real life that you are sad or wanna ctb, they'll run away from you.. That's what happened with me, when i told I'm sad and suicidal, i lost so many friends from my exceptionally big circle and it reduced to just 4-5