Addiction support megathread

[rainwillneverstop]

This is a Mega thread where members who struggle with an addiction can post their experiences, vent, connect with others in a similar situation and give/receive support.

Addiction comes in many forms and can include addictions to to substances or specific behaviors like sex, gambling, etc.
All is welcome here.

You can post as often or as infrequently as you like. Share as much or as little as you feel comfortable with.

This thread is intended to offer support and guidance for users who struggle with the effects of their addiction, rather than discussing the specifics of 'dosing' or glorifying addiction or posting comments that can be perceived as enabling or indulging

External resources to facilitate addiction recovery will be posted shortly, for anyone who might find them helpful.

 

[Defenestration]

Opioids

 

[monk-in-hell]

my life is one big addiction if im not blowing my paychecks on weed and booze im blowing it gambling on slots or sports betting
if im not drinking 5 cups of coffee and smoking 30 cigarettes a day, im ordering heroin/xanax/coke/ket/oxy anything on the dark web

xanax cost me both the girl of my dreams and the job of my dreams. i couldve been a software engineer but now im stocking shelves. i had a girl who wanted to marry me and now im single pronanly forever, i ruined everything in my life i had to ruin and i barely remember how or why i did it

and my deepest most ingrained addiction that almost everyone has in 2024 is scrolling and the internet but i've been at it since i was 5 years old in 2004 when i got my first computer. all day every day i already scrolled my youth away.

anything to forget im alive, here on this earth. thats what i want. thats what i need to make it another day.

 

[ForestGhost]

Damn, surprised this thread didn't get more love. Where my junkies at?

Been "sober" for almost four months (though I'm pretty much in a nicotine haze 24/7) but ho-lee-fuck am I struggling. I've been going a few different 12 step fellowships and I just feel like an alien every time I show up. Maybe nothing against the programs themselves, I just struggle connecting with people in general, but I really can't understand how they can turn people's lives around.

 

[opheliaoveragain]

Fentanyl

still struggle with cravings. but my last self detox was rough as fuck due to cuts in the drugs. but I miss it.

 

[fentgirl]

Fentanyl

still struggle with cravings. but my last self detox was rough as fuck due to cuts in the drugs. but I miss it.

I'm 5 months sober from fentanyl and I miss it everyday. I hope these crazy cravings will stop. You're really strong because self detox is extremely difficult!! Don't give up

 

[opheliaoveragain]

I'm 5 months sober from fentanyl and I miss it everyday. I hope these crazy cravings will stop. You're really strong because self detox is extremely difficult!! Don't give up

5 months ain't nothing! congratulations for real. you hang in there too! don't hesitate to reach out if you'd like to connect

Damn, surprised this thread didn't get more love. Where my junkies at?

Been "sober" for almost four months (though I'm pretty much in a nicotine haze 24/7) but ho-lee-fuck am I struggling. I've been going a few different 12 step fellowships and I just feel like an alien every time I show up. Maybe nothing against the programs themselves, I just struggle connecting with people in general, but I really can't understand how they can turn people's lives around.

I had the same experiences re The Rooms. but but but. there's this one meeting that is global, 24h, every hour it resets and they restart the pre amble but I just took what was useful and left the rest. I can find the zoom info if you'd like it. I rarely talked on there bc omg global meeting but the different lives and perspectives vs the same old same….

just a thought. sending hugs. fellow junkie PRESENT.

 

[ForestGhost]

5 months ain't nothing! congratulations for real. you hang in there too! don't hesitate to reach out if you'd like to connect

I had the same experiences re The Rooms. but but but. there's this one meeting that is global, 24h, every hour it resets and they restart the pre amble but I just took what was useful and left the rest. I can find the zoom info if you'd like it. I rarely talked on there bc omg global meeting but the different lives and perspectives vs the same old same….

just a thought. sending hugs. fellow junkie PRESENT.

Sure thing, I wouldn't mind giving that a shot!

 

[scottishstudent38]

39 m Scotland

Cocaine is my poison. Hate it, hate it, hate it, but absolutely compelled to do it when the opportunity arises. Hate that I have zero control or willpower against it.

Tried the fellowship a few times, couldn't get the 'higher power' aspect of as I always correlated it to a religious viewpoint.

However, tonight I had a Thought - if there's a higher power to help abstain/get clear of it, logic would dictate there a ying to that Yang, meaning there is another power, a darker one if you will, guiding you to Addiction and using. I've been fixated on this guidance and not one of abstanince and recovery.

I need to look for its guidance away from certain death, as I've had enough.

Would love to speak to come people from my part of the world if there's any Scot's here

Xx

 

[hang in there]

I used to drink before work and at work and after work
With a change in job I have been keeping my drinking days pretty deliniated from my work days
But now I'm drinking before work and after work again and every day I get the urge to drink on the job
I can't do that because I drive an ambo on the freeway all night
But it is nice to think about and I definitely have no issue cracking open some booze for a long drive
It is affecting my work a lot lately, I'm always sick with hang overs and I get so fucking nauseous and still have to chase crazies and lift fatties up flights of stairs and otherwise function normally like I'm not fucking dying on the inside

 

[1weirdError]

Would... technology/Internet/Videogames count? Because it feels like one to me

 

[Gl1tch3d G1rl]

My food addiction is rly bad rn. I feel sad and empty and thus I just wanna eat, eat, eat! I'm fat and ugly bc of it but I can't stop. Sweets and junkfood has become my comfort. I'm fucked tbh.

 

[Gárà912]

I've been dealing with porn addiction for most of my life, that is since 7yo... Can't even remember what was my first contact with it, but around that age I got my own Nintendo 3ds.
Previously, I knew about pornography and loved videogames, but I only had access to these things trough others. Then, a console means I could have fun without interacting with other kids, turning me shy, introvert, and incapable of connecting with new friends or family, and I got internet access with the 3ds, with no videos support, so I started with hq/hentai...

I think I've seen the worst the internet could show you. Especially during the covid lockdown, in that period I was awake every night on porn and LoL(for sure the worst mention in this post).

Now my mind is clear from pornography for almost 40 days. I've been developing a "strange" behavior towards it. Hate that that shit with my soul for many years (but... addiction), and 2 or 3 months ago I stopped masturbating with porn. I would just watch it with some weird emotions far from pleasure, a mix of hollowness and other bad feelings. Eventually I was experiencing suicidal ideation everytime I watched.
And during this recent time I did 3 spiritual cleansing with 3 different religions (why not? You guys can judge, but I rather pay to see if i found believable, than taking antidepressants. ). And I actually felt my head clear from that urge to consume pornography. I have 350+ (counted) attempts and now I'm feeling in control over that. I had longer attempts, but the feeling of resisting is different from "nah, not doing this shit again".
And, about that "strange" behavior mentioned before. Know what? I'm too tired to keep writing, need to wake up early and btw english is not my first language, I'm not used to writing with it.
For those reading at night: good night, sleep well and have good dreams;
And for those reading during the day: go do something that will make you exhausted enough to sleep well and have good dreams.

 

[LeavingEarly]

Fentanyl

still struggle with cravings. but my last self detox was rough as fuck due to cuts in the drugs. but I miss it.

How much is the street value of a lethal dose? How much should I pay?