a weird ass thing that makes me not want to die

[crashinout]

so theres a lot of people who hate me. if i die, i will be in an online obituary right. i have a very bad image to a select group of people for my mental health struggles.

but people will look at that and hate it. so if i change my name, i can kill myself. except its going to have family linked to the indexing.

it is so "weird" and strange, i have such weird image issues. i cant deal with the concept of hate, it eats me alive. theres so much of it i got (it caused me isolation and to drop out).

 

[TheWindow047]

so theres a lot of people who hate me. if i die, i will be in an online obituary right. i have a very bad image to a select group of people for my mental health struggles.

but people will look at that and hate it. so if i change my name, i can kill myself. except its going to have family linked to the indexing.

it is so "weird" and strange, i have such weird image issues. i cant deal with the concept of hate, it eats me alive. theres so much of it i got (it caused me isolation and to drop out).

I'm sorry to tell you this but I'm pretty sure you already know , you will be hated after death whether you kill yourself or not, I used to kinda care about how my death would affect people but I don't anymore since I realized is stupid to worry about something I won't be experiencing or witnessing. Maybe is selfish or whatever but I don't care

 

[crashinout]

I'm sorry to tell you this but I'm pretty sure you already know , you will be hated after death whether you kill yourself or not, I used to kinda care about how my death would affect people but I don't anymore since I realized is stupid to worry about something I won't be experiencing or witnessing. Maybe is selfish or whatever but I don't care

youre right, i was taking it hardcore irl. i got mocked for being suicidal and called all kinds of shit from people i didnt know. so idk why im even thinking about that when i wont literally be alive to know. i just have this weird perceptive anxiety.
people like full blown hate me and its such an anxiety thing of mine. i just wanted to be loved. hyperfixation, like some phobia

i think like, lowkey i know im going to have a hated death. but why do i even care tbh. im not gonna be alive. i just wanted radical acceptance from a lot of people. i want to walk into a big room and feel loved. theres some shit missing here. but once i die im gonna be "hated" - if i die now its just circlejerks bullying me into death

 

[pepperfarmer]

For me it's kind of the opposite. If I die, my identity and personhood is dissolved and thus what people (or myself) make of my legacy is moot, since I either no longer exist (and thus can't care) or my consciousness is detached and I reincarnate, and if reincarnation exists, it's practically guaranteed virtually everyone ever alive has done something unspeakable in a past life such that it doesn't matter. That being said, I'm more personally remorseful than I am concerned with how others perceive me.

I figure it'd be a problem if you believe in a permanent/infinite afterlife where you never switch egos, but if Christians or Muslims are right and I haven't converted by the time I die, I'll probably have much worse problems than regret by then.