Discussion A suggestion

[ctb_warrior]

Hi dear all


Hope you are doing well

We are all sailing in the same boat, that's why we are here.

Some of us want to ctb, some of us don't want to ctb deep down but feel compelled.

Many of us don't have a viable method to ctb and that's why we have to continue to live.

So, I have a suggestion...

While we are on this planet, why not we follow our heart and do what we really want to do. Come out of that toxic relationship that's burning our mental fuel. Eat that food that makes you happy. Propose that guy or girl you like. Ignore the bullies or maybe fight back the bullies and teach them a befitting lesson. Buying that dress you've always wanted. Drink your fav drink, soft drink or hard drink. Watch that fav tv series.

Life has already been a punishment, so, why don't we spend the rest of life enjoying it to the fullest possible and live a carefree life till we can be free from this planet.

I know this is easier said than done for many of us but may be just try to do one small thing everyday that makes you happy. (I had an interview last week, and I gave it casually. As i gave it casually, it went really well)

My point is why frown or be sad or be in a negative state that drains your energy, when you can be happy and enjoy and be in a state that makes you feel good.

This suggestion is also applicable to the ones going through terminal illness.

I'll tell you a story regarding this:
So, back in 2005, I had attempted my first major CTB attempt. I was in school. I survived unfortunately. I had to return to life again. My friend showed me a girl in the assembly ground and asked, isn't she looking cute. And, i was kinda mesmerized. It got stuck in my head and I had a crush on her.
Now, life was still hard, but my mind was focused on her and in trying to get her into my life. I was shy as hell so I couldn't even say a Hello when me and her were in front of each other.

Fast forward to the point, where I sailed through that difficult phase of life without feeling the pain because my focus was that girl. In that phase, I used to keep looking at her in the class (without being creepy). I used to listen to her voice and I would observe everything that was related to her.

Interestingly, after this tough phase ended, I got my reward, me and her became friends, then really good friends, and then one fine day, she said those three magical words to me in front of her sister and brother..i was on cloud 9

There's a lot more that happened. But, the example so far serves the purpose of explaining how distracting the mind can make you feel less pain even if it's very painful.

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

That's a great suggestion, and welcome back!!!

 

[ctb_warrior]

That's a great suggestion, and welcome back!!!

Thank you thanks for the warm welcome as well.
How have you been?

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

Thank you thanks for the warm welcome as well.
How have you been?

No, ha, it should be warmer 🏝. It was a nice surprise to see you back here . I'm the same. Hbu?

 

[ctb_warrior]

No, ha, it should be warmer 🏝. It was a nice surprise to see you back here . I'm the same. Hbu?

Hehe actually i broke couple of rules of the site due to lack of awareness and got banned. On top of it, i created another account endlesschatter to continue to be active on the site, that got me a superban moderators were kind enough to unban me after a while. All this time i was lurking around as guest. It was glad to see your comments on the posts guiding people and steering them away from silly methods.
I am good at the moment coz i got rolled off a very intense project.so that's a relief.
I have my SN on its way, so I'm super duper nervous, one mistake and the plan will fail. Tbh, i don't want to ctb at the moment but if I keep the SN for long, it'll get seized by my family.

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

Hehe actually i broke couple of rules of the site due to lack of awareness and got banned. On top of it, i created another account endlesschatter to continue to be active on the site, that got me a superban moderators were kind enough to unban me after a while. All this time i was lurking around as guest. It was glad to see your comments on the posts guiding people and steering them away from silly methods.
I am good at the moment coz i got rolled off a very intense project.so that's a relief.
I have my SN on its way, so I'm super duper nervous, one mistake and the plan will fail. Tbh, i don't want to ctb at the moment but if I keep the SN for long, it'll get seized by my family.

A superban??? I'm glad that's behind you, but I don't love the idea of anyone rushing to CTB because they don't want to lose their chance to do so. I hope you can figure out a place to store it so you don't feel the need to take it until the moment you are truly ready.

 

[ctb_warrior]

A superban??? I'm glad that's behind you, but I don't love the idea of anyone rushing to CTB because they don't want to lose their chance to do so. I hope you can figure out a place to store it so you don't feel the need to take it until the moment you are truly ready.

Haha yes, i was completely banned on both accounts. I couldn't login to see the notifications. I so wanted to reply to posts here but couldn't due to the ban.
Unfortunately I'm back with my parents, so, at my home, there's absolutely no place that's hidden from my parents. No privacy at all.. One day i was talking to my ex and we were kinda flirty, and my father was listening to all of that conversation while i was walking away from him to ensure he can't listen to it
I hid a small bottle of vodka yesterday, i don't know how tf he found it and seized it and hiding 2 bottles of 500gm SN i ordered 1kg so the seller doesn't doubts my intention. And the interesting catch is, i have to go to office 2 times a week, and i have to plan that in such a way that, i am at home to receive the package on the day of delivery. I am praying that the delivery boy comes to deliver when these ppl are having their afternoon nap, so i can hide it carefully enough. One mistake and it'll all get foiled so even though, i have no intention to go so soon, i may have to go next week. Let's see how it goes
Isn't it crazy, how ppl make it difficult to live and they also make it difficult to die.

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

Haha yes, i was completely banned on both accounts. I couldn't login to see the notifications. I so wanted to reply to posts here but couldn't due to the ban.
Unfortunately I'm back with my parents, so, at my home, there's absolutely no place that's hidden from my parents. No privacy at all.. One day i was talking to my ex and we were kinda flirty, and my father was listening to all of that conversation while i was walking away from him to ensure he can't listen to it
I hid a small bottle of vodka yesterday, i don't know how tf he found it and seized it and hiding 2 bottles of 500gm SN i ordered 1kg so the seller doesn't doubts my intention. And the interesting catch is, i have to go to office 2 times a week, and i have to plan that in such a way that, i am at home to receive the package on the day of delivery. I am praying that the delivery boy comes to deliver when these ppl are having their afternoon nap, so i can hide it carefully enough. One mistake and it'll all get foiled so even though, i have no intention to go so soon, i may have to go next week. Let's see how it goes
Isn't it crazy, how ppl make it difficult to live and they also make it difficult to die.

Oh my . Don't want to join a gym or similar to get a locker? No way to start a gardening project, plant something pretty in the yard, under which you could bury your carefully wrapped package ? There's got to be something.

 

[ctb_warrior]

In my gym, they don't allow to keep anything in the lockers overnight. So that's ruled out. In my current office, there are lockers but i don't know how to get the keys.. in my previous company, they had lockers, and i used to store lot of stuff there. How can I be this dumb after talking to you, i realised, i could have got the package delivered at my office address. No one checks my office bag too late now

Another good idea you gave me there i used to sneak alcohol bottles inside my house by hiding it in the yard. So, when it gets delivered in the afternoon, if no one's looking, i may be able to hide it in the yard. Though there's not enough place to hide. Another place i have in my mind is a shoe box in my room. If I'm lucky that no one watches me bring the package in, i can quickly put it in the empty shoe box which is less likely to be touched. My heart is quite excited at this moment about this whole episode.

 

[Somewhat Suicidal]

Great suggestion in theory and I've done that up until a few years ago where I really lost interest in most things that I used to enjoy.

Not sure how to beat major depression and total anhedonia, ADHD and RSD, possibly some more stuff that has never been diagnosed (I suspect CPTSD and some light autism at this point tbh). These are the most brutal fucking things I have ever faced in life. Like literally any physical pain I ever had is a joke in comparison and I would gladly trade for that. I would literally trade all my money and my apartment (which I own and has somewhat considerable worth) for it... But that's not possible sadly. Anyway, open to suggestions

 

[Serena 2026]

Haha yes, i was completely banned on both accounts. I couldn't login to see the notifications. I so wanted to reply to posts here but couldn't due to the ban.
Unfortunately I'm back with my parents, so, at my home, there's absolutely no place that's hidden from my parents. No privacy at all.. One day i was talking to my ex and we were kinda flirty, and my father was listening to all of that conversation while i was walking away from him to ensure he can't listen to it
I hid a small bottle of vodka yesterday, i don't know how tf he found it and seized it and hiding 2 bottles of 500gm SN i ordered 1kg so the seller doesn't doubts my intention. And the interesting catch is, i have to go to office 2 times a week, and i have to plan that in such a way that, i am at home to receive the package on the day of delivery. I am praying that the delivery boy comes to deliver when these ppl are having their afternoon nap, so i can hide it carefully enough. One mistake and it'll all get foiled so even though, i have no intention to go so soon, i may have to go next week. Let's see how it goes
Isn't it crazy, how ppl make it difficult to live and they also make it difficult to die.

Don't you have a trusted friend who could receive your package? That way, you wouldn't be so worried!

 

[ctb_warrior]

Don't you have a trusted friend who could receive your package? That way, you wouldn't be so worried!

Unfortunately, I'm on my own. I don't have anyone who could receive my package. Also, if my friend was in the city though he's in UK, he would not have assisted me in any way.
He wouldn't want me to ctb. Sad life

 

[Serena 2026]

Hi dear all


Hope you are doing well

We are all sailing in the same boat, that's why we are here.

Some of us want to ctb, some of us don't want to ctb deep down but feel compelled.

Many of us don't have a viable method to ctb and that's why we have to continue to live.

So, I have a suggestion...

While we are on this planet, why not we follow our heart and do what we really want to do. Come out of that toxic relationship that's burning our mental fuel. Eat that food that makes you happy. Propose that guy or girl you like. Ignore the bullies or maybe fight back the bullies and teach them a befitting lesson. Buying that dress you've always wanted. Drink your fav drink, soft drink or hard drink. Watch that fav tv series.

Life has already been a punishment, so, why don't we spend the rest of life enjoying it to the fullest possible and live a carefree life till we can be free from this planet.

I know this is easier said than done for many of us but may be just try to do one small thing everyday that makes you happy. (I had an interview last week, and I gave it casually. As i gave it casually, it went really well)

My point is why frown or be sad or be in a negative state that drains your energy, when you can be happy and enjoy and be in a state that makes you feel good.

This suggestion is also applicable to the ones going through terminal illness.

I'll tell you a story regarding this:
So, back in 2005, I had attempted my first major CTB attempt. I was in school. I survived unfortunately. I had to return to life again. My friend showed me a girl in the assembly ground and asked, isn't she looking cute. And, i was kinda mesmerized. It got stuck in my head and I had a crush on her.
Now, life was still hard, but my mind was focused on her and in trying to get her into my life. I was shy as hell so I couldn't even say a Hello when me and her were in front of each other.

Fast forward to the point, where I sailed through that difficult phase of life without feeling the pain because my focus was that girl. In that phase, I used to keep looking at her in the class (without being creepy). I used to listen to her voice and I would observe everything that was related to her.

Interestingly, after this tough phase ended, I got my reward, me and her became friends, then really good friends, and then one fine day, she said those three magical words to me in front of her sister and brother..i was on cloud 9

There's a lot more that happened. But, the example so far serves the purpose of explaining how distracting the mind can make you feel less pain even if it's very painful.

Your suggestion is valid and quite interesting... but when it comes to people who are depressed or suicidal, I think it's hard to put into practice, simply because we lack the strength and the will to find happiness in anything... but I really admire those who manage to do it!!!

 

[ctb_warrior]

Your suggestion is valid and quite interesting... but when it comes to people who are depressed or suicidal, I think it's hard to put into practice, simply because we lack the strength and the will to find happiness in anything... but I really admire those who manage to do it!!!

You are absolutely right dear.
It's easier said than done.
As there are folks here that are from every category so I mentioned all of it in a generic way, but i understand not everyone can implement it fully. But yeah, what I would say, may be have your favourite dish, or may be make your painting, or may be just listen to your favourite songs, anything that makes you feel better, anything that your heart tells you to do.
If i talk about you specifically, i know what all you've gone through, it's not easy to be in your shoes.. If i was in your shoes, I'm not sure if i would be even close to how dynamic and loving you are for others
You are an amazing soul. Your are elder than me, very mature and have faced so much in life. My struggles are literally nothing compared to yours. I love you and respect you for everything that you do. God bless you in every way possible. May you find respite. I really wish a lovely soul like you should experience happiness in every way possible.
Do let me know if i can do anything for you.
You are such an amazing soul.

 

[DeadManLiving]

It's not that easy.

 

[Serena 2026]

Great suggestion in theory and I've done that up until a few years ago where I really lost interest in most things that I used to enjoy.

Not sure how to beat major depression and total anhedonia, ADHD and RSD, possibly some more stuff that has never been diagnosed (I suspect CPTSD and some light autism at this point tbh). These are the most brutal fucking things I have ever faced in life. Like literally any physical pain I ever had is a joke in comparison and I would gladly trade for that. I would literally trade all my money and my apartment (which I own and has somewhat considerable worth) for it... But that's not possible sadly. Anyway, open to suggestions

I feel that way too!!

 

[ctb_warrior]

It's not that easy.

You are right. It's not that easy for everyone..
But just one small thing a day that makes you happy.
I think that's achievable, isn't it?

 

[DeadManLiving]

You are right. It's not that easy for everyone..
But just one small thing a day that makes you happy.
I think that's achievable, isn't it?

For some. Depends on pain level.

 

[ctb_warrior]

Great suggestion in theory and I've done that up until a few years ago where I really lost interest in most things that I used to enjoy.

Not sure how to beat major depression and total anhedonia, ADHD and RSD, possibly some more stuff that has never been diagnosed (I suspect CPTSD and some light autism at this point tbh). These are the most brutal fucking things I have ever faced in life. Like literally any physical pain I ever had is a joke in comparison and I would gladly trade for that. I would literally trade all my money and my apartment (which I own and has somewhat considerable worth) for it... But that's not possible sadly. Anyway, open to suggestions

I totally understand your pain. And i totally understand that we may lose interest in the things we loved at some point of time.
This site has people of all kinds, so I understand that what I wrote isn't completely applicable on everyone.
But, what I'll still emphasize on is, try to do one small act that you may still enjoy.
No matter how small or how weird it may be.
In my case, I'm also going through lack of feeling but food is something that changes my mood. I'm sure you'd have something in your life that you love irrespective

For some. Depends on pain level.

Yeah. I can't deny. If the trauma is too much, one may not be able to enjoy anything at all.
I totally understand that.. The idea mainly is to enjoy life as much as possible. If it's not possible at all, what can one do.. Nothing