reesespiecesaregood
Member
- Dec 27, 2019
- 45
Ordered my n, after deciding against SN and reading more successful receivals of n. Ordered meto a week or two ago since it's not sold otc here and it should be getting here soon. Should receive the n within a month if all goes well.
A month isn't so long, but it seems like forever since my family has their eyes on me like a hawk these days. I've been a recluse for the past few months, making it no secret that I'm not doing well. They don't know of my plans, but think that I've been like this for too long and have been (kindly) pressing me to get a job and start socializing again for my mental health (and $ of course). I convinced them I'm actively looking for work, & even started going to the gym here and there just to seem like I'm doing something so they don't get too worried. But idk how much longer I can keep this up. I hope everything works out with the delivery and everything else. Also still not sure of what excuse I'm gonna use for when I go to a hotel on my date. Since I haven't been social at all the past few months, me randomly deciding to sleep out will probably be suspicious. Gotta really plan during this time I guess.
Even though I've thought about how they'll feel, I'm trying not to let my mind go there too often. As much as they've been there for me, they've also put me through hell and back. Not saying they deserve this in the slightest but staying for them just isn't fair. I've been doomed probably since age 8 or so, and living through the last 14 years since was more than enough. If they truly understood my pain, I think they'd understand my choice.
A month isn't so long, but it seems like forever since my family has their eyes on me like a hawk these days. I've been a recluse for the past few months, making it no secret that I'm not doing well. They don't know of my plans, but think that I've been like this for too long and have been (kindly) pressing me to get a job and start socializing again for my mental health (and $ of course). I convinced them I'm actively looking for work, & even started going to the gym here and there just to seem like I'm doing something so they don't get too worried. But idk how much longer I can keep this up. I hope everything works out with the delivery and everything else. Also still not sure of what excuse I'm gonna use for when I go to a hotel on my date. Since I haven't been social at all the past few months, me randomly deciding to sleep out will probably be suspicious. Gotta really plan during this time I guess.
Even though I've thought about how they'll feel, I'm trying not to let my mind go there too often. As much as they've been there for me, they've also put me through hell and back. Not saying they deserve this in the slightest but staying for them just isn't fair. I've been doomed probably since age 8 or so, and living through the last 14 years since was more than enough. If they truly understood my pain, I think they'd understand my choice.
