A little story part of the story I've been writing with a friend. Tell me if you can relate please :)

[Sadness20]

"Yes, there are people who love me. There are people who would grief me. But the world is such a terrible place. Often it's not about the people around us, but it's about the blows of fate, that destroy us. Things we just can't forget. These are the things that make our suicide thoughts so strong. And to be honest, when you're about to kill yourself, you don't think about the people who love you. You only think about the wonderful, peaceful nothing which would surround you. To not have to fight against yourself anymore, against your thoughts or feelings. Just doing something, not be powerless, against the monster in us. To give away the guilt, that always tears us down. We always feel guilty, even it's just small things, that are just in the back of our head. Some day these small or big moments that hurt us are just too much, and this is what drives us to make these decisions."

 

[FuneralCry]

Thank you for sharing. I relate to the line about the peaceful nothingness the most. If I was about to ctb, that is all I would think about. This life would no longer matter to me. In comparison to death, life seems so temporary and meaningless. I wish you the best.

 

[Graham]

Thank you for sharing. I relate to the line about the peaceful nothingness the most. If I was about to ctb, that is all I would think about. This life would no longer matter to me. In comparison to death, life seems so temporary and meaningless. I wish you the best.

I tried CTB yesterday

No serenity

Guilt

Didn't think it would be that way as I was ready and went a long way to do it

 

[NobodyKnowsMe]

I tried CTB yesterday

No serenity

Guilt

Didn't think it would be that way as I was ready and went a long way to do it

Survival Instinct is a powerful thing and very difficult to fight. No matter how ready we think we are, no matter how much we want to be gone, that damn SI keeps interfering.

 

[Graham]

Survival Instinct is a powerful thing and very difficult to fight. No matter how ready we think we are, no matter how much we want to be gone, that damn SI keeps interfering.

Survival and guilt

Good and bad in whatever circumstances

 

[NobodyKnowsMe]

Survival and guilt

In many ways, I think our feelings of guilt are a part of the SI -- it is a way for the SI to manipulate us and make continue the daily struggle.