A girlfriend would save me

[iheartethanpage]

I honestly feel that if I had someone who I could hold at the end of the day I wouldn't be suicidal. I realize that I sound like a total loser incel (which I am) saying this, but in no way am I saying I deserve a girlfriend. I'm a total loser with no good qualities. But if I'm honest I wouldn't feel this way if I could just talk to or hug someone. My friends often tell me I should go talk to someone but they don't get it. I can't. I'm an ND loser bitch who gets teary talking to strangers because it's so unbelievably uncomfortable. Does anyone else feel this way?

 

[returntothestars]

As someone who is severely socially anxious and borderline agoraphobic at this point, I can completely understand not being able to 'just go talk' to someone. Especially when that someone can be considered a random stranger. With that being said, even in my last serious relationship I still struggled with chronic (and persistent) suicidal ideation.

 

[Kokonoe]

typically i feel like i would agree with your statement. i feel completely unlovable, too, and i also acknowledge that i am just not deserving of love. no one should ever deserve to settle for someone like me. i thought just having someone to share my life with would make it all worth living, though.
and while i'm not currently in a relationship, i now have someone i've been talking to who prioritizes me and spends almost all their time with me. i never once thought i would ever experience companionship like this. but i still want to die. i still am hurt by all the same things. i'm still miserable. life still isn't worth it. maybe it's not the same because it's not the same as love and a real relationship. but the main thing i wanted from a relationship is to rarely have to be alone anymore and to have someone to come home to. and now that i sort of have that, i realize it doesn't change much.
i guess that's a really long winded way of saying i don't think it gets better. im sorry.

 

[SASU-KE]

typically i feel like i would agree with your statement. i feel completely unlovable, too, and i also acknowledge that i am just not deserving of love. no one should ever deserve to settle for someone like me. i thought just having someone to share my life with would make it all worth living, though.
and while i'm not currently in a relationship, i now have someone i've been talking to who prioritizes me and spends almost all their time with me. i never once thought i would ever experience companionship like this. but i still want to die. i still am hurt by all the same things. i'm still miserable. life still isn't worth it. maybe it's not the same because it's not the same as love and a real relationship. but the main thing i wanted from a relationship is to rarely have to be alone anymore and to have someone to come home to. and now that i sort of have that, i realize it doesn't change much.
i guess that's a really long winded way of saying i don't think it gets better. im sorry.

Sadly, sometimes this is the case. You think something will help you, but it actually does nothing. You'll only find out after the fact.

 

[Dark Moon]

I don't know if having a girlfriend would save me but it would help my mental state a lot. I sometimes think I'm not good enough to have someone.

 

[darksouls]

my ex-boyfriends treated me like garbage,
I am already done,
so no one would save me

 

[AltercatingVoices]

The grass is always greener on the other side. "If only I had x, or had met y, or experienced z". As is the case for everything you'll always adjust to your new circumstance and desire something else, or worse come to see that what you wanted is entirely flawed and nowhere near as good as everyone else seems to make it out to be

 

[burninghill]

I used to think that I would be saved if I got a boyfriend. I'm no better now that I've gotten what I want. It's nice to have a support system, but I really don't feel much better.

 

[like-spoiledmilk]

I guess for me it didn't make it better.

I'm just constantly getting dumped for being negative, crazy, etc. The only things I've have partners say positively is sexual/physical. The heat at night is nice. It's worse to alway wake up to them touching you because you're better when you're asleep.

I can't help but feel like I'd be better dead, then. I'm miserable, and the only time I don't make others miserable is when I'm unconscious or masking.