Venting a conversation with a friend. "why do it?"

[Life_and_Death]

"just thought id let you know i decided to roll one"

"ok
i hope at least it helps"

"truth?"

"yes"

"no
it wont"

"ok...."

"its honestly probably going to make me feel worse"

"then why do it?"

and the best answer i had...

"so i can feel worse"

i forced myself into a mental breakdown (i was probably heading in that direction anyway, it was a really bad night). but why? hes right. why? cutting, not taking my meds, having so many mental breakdowns to the point that i 'optionally' have them. why? what does any of this accomplish? why am i doing it?

disorders suck. can i have new ones? lol

edit: ive heard it said that insane people dont really know theyre insane, but i dont believe that. maybe some of them dont know...but not everyone

 

[Symbiote]

Sure you want mine? I have short-term memory loss, childhood trauma, CPTSD, disassociation, ice-pick headaches, and extreme self-loathing.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Sure you want mine? I have short-term memory loss, childhood trauma, CPTSD, disassociation, ice-pick headaches, and extreme self-loathing.

sounds better than mine , but i wont go into it because i dont want to turn it into a 'who has it worse contest'. although im thankful that most of my dissociation is gone.

ill just throw mine out the window and take yours, then youll be ok and ill be better than i am now lol