Method 90 taxus baccata seeds

[Suine Kurisu]

i'm still trying to tie up some loose ends before i ultimately decide to commit. i've given up my dreams in favour of reprieve, i just want to be as considerate in my approach as possible so not to infringe on the dreams of my friends. family can go fuck itself. anyways, in preparation, i've ordered 90 yew seeds and i was wondering if the alkaloid content when ground would be enough to be fatal, in case i need to plan for a backup. circumstances already dictate that i typically have enough time unsupervised, enough to where by the time anyone gets to me it would be too late.


are my expectations too high or can i rely on this method? what would be the ideal way to ingest the seeds?

 

[Suine Kurisu]

the fact that i can't even elicit a response from other suicidal people is indicative of my worth to this world. i now feel even more justified in my actions than i did before; if people like me want nothing to do with me then i don't need to be in this world

 

[ElfQueens]

It's a very specific question which uh, a lot of people probably don't know the answer to, and uh, I think people rather avoid responding than giving an unhelpful or wrong response. If anyone on this forum even knows, they might've just not seen your thread, personally we only saw it because you bumped it just now.

Sadly we also can't give a very helpful reply but uhh, it seems taxine alcaloids are cardiotoxic? Which usually isn't a super peaceful way to go, cardiac failure can be accompanied by feelings of panic or pain, for instance. Another effect of those alkaloids is nausea, so uh, there's a chance you might throw up before all of it is absorbed, which uh, could make absorbing a lethal dose more difficult, at least without antiemetics. - Lira

 

[Suine Kurisu]

i thought this forum was FOR these kinds of specific questions. i believe that any information shared can be helpful regardless of where it leads but i understand others may not feel this way. i'm just trying to gauge whether my specified dose would be enough; takes on this forum (and pretty much anywhere else) seem to vary a lot and i was trying to find a common consensus. i've heard everything from "cardiac arrest should ensue within minutes" and "it doesnt do anything significant". i'm past caring about how peaceful/painful it would be and how long it takes, i just want to know if it will even work at all. what are some recommended antiemetics, if nausea is a potentially attempt ruining part of this process?

 

[an alien]

Yeah people not responding is not about you its about no one having the answer and not wanting to give you incorrect information with such a serious topic. Also timezones, the site is way more active during certain windows of the day. I'm in the USA and your post was made 3:30am my time.

The general advice though is that plant based methods are incredibly unreliable, someone can correct me if I'm wrong but I dont think I've seen a successful attempt with yew on this site despite many attempts.


Not sure if you've been able to unlock the forum search function yet but here is a well documented series of attempts using yew: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/yew-attempt.202982/

 

[Suine Kurisu]

in my experience, usually it seems to be me. this isnt the only platform i've felt avoided on. in most other places i used to frequent i was always described as a "deeply disturbed individual" (which is true) that isn't worth the burden of befriending or being close to. i don't belong in most places, so forgive me if i felt the same way about here. it's a force of habit

i did manage to stumble upon this thread that u linked, but it left me with more questions than answers. at the very least it seems it could predispose me to certain heart conditions which isn't a total loss? i do have an inconsistent heart rate already, which leads me to believe that it may be enough on its own, but i'm unsure if my dosage is high enough. i'm also like 5'7 115 lbs, which is fairly underweight, and i'm thinking i may be able to get away with a dose on the lower end due to these compounding factors. what if in addition i also downed the rest of my antidepressants (sertraline) at the same time? alcohol seems to also exacerbate the process in removing impurities from the taxine alkaloid content, i just am ill equipped to prepare a tincture at this time. i think it would call for something 80 proof minimum which just isn't in my budget. the fact that the economy is so terrible that i can't even afford to reliably kill myself with things that are supposed to be easily accessible is appalling to me. unsure how relevant this is to my rambling, but once i was recommended to mix the crushed seeds in some kind of soft serve to mitigate the bitterness.

i have about a week until my seeds arrive. if 90 won't be enough, i want to know in case i need to order more

 

[dustoff]

all info you need in case reports. you can find full papers on sci lib.

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/233982931_Eight_cases_of_fatal_and_non-fatal_poisoning_with_Taxus_baccata

Common yew intoxication: a case report - Journal of Medical Case Reports

Introduction Taxine alkaloids cause fatal poisoning, in particular due to the compound’s toxic effect on the cardiovascular apparatus. Case presentation We describe the case of a 39-year-old Caucasian man with common yew intoxication for whom cardiopulmonary resuscitation using all available...

link.springer.com

"An infusion made from 50 to 100g of needles is considered to be fatal [3-5], as no
antidote is known"

"cardiac arrest should ensue within minutes" and "it doesnt do anything significant"

"The alkaloid taxine is a cardiac depressant. Bradycardia. nervousness, trembling, dyspnea. and incoordination appear a few hours after ingestion. Death closely follows the onset of symptoms. There is no known antidote [4]."

in my experience, usually it seems to be me. this isnt the only platform i've felt avoided on. in most other places i used to frequent i was always described as a "deeply disturbed individual" (which is true) that isn't worth the burden of befriending or being close to. i don't belong in most places, so forgive me if i felt the same way about here. it's a force of habit

relatable
on the other hand being terminally bored from getting ignored by literally everyone makes things easier

 

[geepeedee]

you asked an esoteric question during off-hours. don't take it personally.

 

[Suine Kurisu]

all info you need in case reports. you can find full papers on sci lib.

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/233982931_Eight_cases_of_fatal_and_non-fatal_poisoning_with_Taxus_baccata

Common yew intoxication: a case report - Journal of Medical Case Reports

Introduction Taxine alkaloids cause fatal poisoning, in particular due to the compound’s toxic effect on the cardiovascular apparatus. Case presentation We describe the case of a 39-year-old Caucasian man with common yew intoxication for whom cardiopulmonary resuscitation using all available...

link.springer.com

i found this link to be very helpful. it seems i may be onto something with what i'm seeing described. i think i'll get some more seeds if the first attempt doesn't work. i'll save my antidepressants as well in case i decide i need the extra insurance. though the "no antidote" thing by itself makes this very enticing.

relatable
on the other hand being terminally bored from getting ignored by literally everyone makes things easier

it does somewhat. every day is much longer, lonelier, and more grating being isolated in my thoughts but at least the impact my death will have on the world at large is greatly reduced if i stay alone. i won't have to worry about as many people missing me when i eventually pull the trigger (though honestly i think i am doing them a massive favour in removing myself from the equation)

you asked an esoteric question during off-hours. don't take it personally.

that's been hammered into my head by now. i appreciate u reiterating though.

 

[Estrella87]

It's true that you come with a very "exotic" exit way, so makes sense you don't get many answers.

In another way, it's the first time I hear about it and I would be curious about the process and the result. When do you receive those seeds? And why specially chose this method?

The problem imo is because the method is not frequent and not very proven, you take big risks : you could get no results or quick death (best scenarios) as well as slow death, sickness, etc.

Also the dose should be high enough.

Why did you chose this way rather than simpler ones?

Here is a case I found : https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4462509/

He died... 12h later...

 

[Suine Kurisu]

It's true that you come with a very "exotic" exit way, so makes sense you don't get many answers.

In another way, it's the first time I hear about it and I would be curious about the process and the result. When do you receive those seeds? And why specially chose this method?

The problem imo is because the method is not frequent and not very proven, you take big risks : you could get no results or quick death (best scenarios) as well as slow death, sickness, etc.

Also the dose should be high enough.

Why did you chose this way rather than simpler ones?

Here is a case I found : https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4462509/

He died... 12h later...

i'll have my seeds this upcoming tuesday. honestly, this was the first method ever suggested to me and out of everything i've considered, it's the most inexpensive and calls the least amount of attention. buying a bunch of seeds didn't seem like it would raise any eyebrows. inert gas via nitrogen was another contender but i find the risks associated with it to be a bit much (can be difficult to get the necessary components, risk of dangerous exposure of others) so this seems to be the simplest way for me to go about it. i was able to buy 90 seeds for like $18 with help of a gift card. i think the nitrogen alone would already be more expensive. even if there's a chance it won't work, it's a risk i'm willing to take because i have no regard for myself whatsoever anymore. long and painful or not, i'm going out either way. if i'm alone long enough by the time anyone can intervene i'll be too far along and i wont also put them at risk.

 

[Estrella87]

ofc but dying the long painful way isn't a pleasant end. Also there are other method probably more efficient and not requiring money.

But it's your choice.

I did some ressearch and seems you need really a lot for succeed. It also depends a lot on your body mass, if you are strong guy or rather a small fragile lady can change a lot the effects on you.

 

[dustoff]

i'll have my seeds this upcoming tuesday.

nurseries sell the whole plant in pots. species differ in sizes. yews that sold for hedging the biggest ones. ideally you can get a medium sized plant that has plenty biomass on it i.e enough to obtain 100-200 grams of plant matter by cutting off several branches. i planted 3 yews (1 died already) in backyard several years ago if i somehow survive next attempt (with sn) i can wait 10-20 years for them to grow to trim them for some taxine. it seems that seeds have the biggest alkaloid content compared to other parts of this plant but casualties in most case reports took a blend of leaves and twigs.

 

[explosiveKai99]

@Suine Kurisu Can you think with me here? I got info that around 50 grams of plant matter (needles, twigs) is deadly for an adult human, but seeds have higher concentration of taxine alcaloids.
One source mentioned 5mg per 1g of leaves (needles) of all taxine contents, which would mean around 250mg of taxines is lethal dose.
But same source mentions two taxine alcaloids responsible for cardiotoxic effects, taxine B taking 30% of all alcaloid fraction, and taxine A 1.3% to 1.8%.
That gives roughly 79mg of mixture of these two alcaloids.

Do you have information about contents of seeds? If so, we could get lethal dose of seeds (mind: ground, or chewed and swallowed).
I got information from unreliable source that even two seeds could be deadly. I mention it because I am afraid that your stomach could detect very high concentration of poison and make you vomit very fast. That's why I would not advise taking very very much more.

I hope my calculations are not confusing, and please correct me if I'm wrong.

 

[Suine Kurisu]

@Suine Kurisu Can you think with me here? I got info that around 50 grams of plant matter (needles, twigs) is deadly for an adult human, but seeds have higher concentration of taxine alcaloids.
One source mentioned 5mg per 1g of leaves (needles) of all taxine contents, which would mean around 250mg of taxines is lethal dose.
But same source mentions two taxine alcaloids responsible for cardiotoxic effects, taxine B taking 30% of all alcaloid fraction, and taxine A 1.3% to 1.8%.
That gives roughly 79mg of mixture of these two alcaloids.

Do you have information about contents of seeds? If so, we could get lethal dose of seeds (mind: ground, or chewed and swallowed).
I got information from unreliable source that even two seeds could be deadly. I mention it because I am afraid that your stomach could detect very high concentration of poison and make you vomit very fast. That's why I would not advise taking very very much more.

I hope my calculations are not confusing, and please correct me if I'm wrong.

it looks like ur math is mathing here. seeds seem to typically either match or exceed the concentration of alkaloids found in the rest of the plant; the smallest figure i've seen is 1-1.2% of the dry weight but depending on the time of year (especially winter) concentration is higher. it seems we have the same point of confusion, i think with it being dependent on ur bmi it can be a bit inconsistent to find results. those who take exceptionally high doses of the seeds often forget to grind or chew them leading to them passing with little to no effects. in my case, 90 seeds should weigh about 5.3g, based off the TSW reference metric. i can't seem to find a reliable number for what that alkaloid content would be though. i just know it would be more concentrated than the equivalent mass of leaves/twigs. how much so, i couldn't say. if i need to buy more i will gladly do that.

i heard the same thing about just a few seeds being deadly. but part of me wonders if thats only because modern medicine has yet to find any sort of antidote. i suppose that fact alone is where that metric came from.

have u been able to find more information? i apologise if this wasn't as helpful as u were hoping it would be.

nurseries sell the whole plant in pots. species differ in sizes. yews that sold for hedging the biggest ones. ideally you can get a medium sized plant that has plenty biomass on it i.e enough to obtain 100-200 grams of plant matter by cutting off several branches. i planted 3 yews (1 died already) in backyard several years ago if i somehow survive next attempt (with sn) i can wait 10-20 years for them to grow to trim them for some taxine. it seems that seeds have the biggest alkaloid content compared to other parts of this plant but casualties in most case reports took a blend of leaves and twigs.

i think the hard part of that would be keeping the plant alive, as the climate i live in is fairly hostile to these plants. while it is available locally, prices are a bit exorbitant so i may have better chances ordering online. but thats if i trust shipping :p having my own plant would be pretty awesome though. mayhaps if the seeds don't work out i can buy one just in case

thanks so much for everyone's input!

 

[ElfQueens]

what are some recommended antiemetics, if nausea is a potentially attempt ruining part of this process?

Hm, I don't know if there's any ones specifically recommended for this method. Generally, people here really like metoclopramide, it's used in a lot of methods like SN and medically is uh, also used for chemotherapy-induced nausea. Over the counter, the only thing available would uh, be first generation antihistamines (second generation antihistamines don't work well against nausea). Additionally, some benzos and some antiserotonergic drugs like Ondansetron have antiemetic properties. Combining several different classes of antiemetics can also be helpful, e.g. in chemotherapy, they sometimes use a combination of uh, lorazepam (benzo), haloperidol (D2 antagonist, like metoclopramide) and diphenhydramine (antihistamine).

i think the nitrogen alone would already be more expensive.

Definitely, sadly. A full nitrogen setup is said to cost several hundreds. Nitrogen is seemingly also kind of hard to obtain, it's not something just sold to non-business customers normally from what we can tell.

what if in addition i also downed the rest of my antidepressants (sertraline) at the same time?

Unlikely to do much, the only antidepressant that uh, is known to be particularly lethal in high doses is amitriptyline. It might also worsen nausea, especially if you take that much at once. See also https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/why-ods-fail-miserably-a-guide.181394/ If sertraline somehow amplifies the alkaloid effects, it might do something, but uh, I don't think there's any evidence of it doing that? - Lira

 

[Suine Kurisu]

Hm, I don't know if there's any ones specifically recommended for this method. Generally, people here really like metoclopramide, it's used in a lot of methods like SN and medically is uh, also used for chemotherapy-induced nausea. Over the counter, the only thing available would uh, be first generation antihistamines (second generation antihistamines don't work well against nausea). Additionally, some benzos and some antiserotonergic drugs like Ondansetron have antiemetic properties. Combining several different classes of antiemetics can also be helpful, e.g. in chemotherapy, they sometimes use a combination of uh, lorazepam (benzo), haloperidol (D2 antagonist, like metoclopramide) and diphenhydramine (antihistamine).

i do thankfully have access to a first gen antihistamine (hydroxyzine), i'm prescribed it for ptsd induced vomiting already. i don't know why that slipped my mind but now that u bring it up i should also have enough of that to mitigate nausea as much as i can. getting prescription medications can be a bit tricky where i live so maybe i can also supplement it with benadryl as well.

Unlikely to do much, the only antidepressant that uh, is known to be particularly lethal in high doses is amitriptyline. It might also worsen nausea, especially if you take that much at once. See also https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/why-ods-fail-miserably-a-guide.181394/ If sertraline somehow amplifies the alkaloid effects, it might do something, but uh, I don't think there's any evidence of it doing that? - Lira

i figured i would at least ask. i was unsure if sertraline would do much of anything but it is something i have very easy access to.

thank u for taking the time to get back to me :3

 

[ElfQueens]

i do thankfully have access to a first gen antihistamine (hydroxyzine), i'm prescribed it for ptsd induced vomiting already. i don't know why that slipped my mind but now that u bring it up i should also have enough of that to mitigate nausea as much as i can. getting prescription medications can be a bit tricky where i live so maybe i can also supplement it with benadryl as well.

Well uh, apparently with antihistamines, sometimes less is more, e.g. for diphenhydramine, doses upwards of 200mg can cause nausea rather than reduce it. Also need to keep in mind they're psychoactive at higher doses, and they're classed as deliriants for a reason; a lot of the time the trips they cause are described as unpleasant, so. If antihistamines are the only antiemetic you have access to, don't take too much I guess. - Lira

 

[Suine Kurisu]

Well uh, apparently with antihistamines, sometimes less is more, e.g. for diphenhydramine, doses upwards of 200mg can cause nausea rather than reduce it. Also need to keep in mind they're psychoactive at higher doses, and they're classed as deliriants for a reason; a lot of the time the trips they cause are described as unpleasant, so. If antihistamines are the only antiemetic you have access to, don't take too much I guess. - Lira

got it. i'll be as sparing with it as possible
thanks again!

 

[explosiveKai99]

have u been able to find more information? i apologise if this wasn't as helpful as u were hoping it would be.

Yes, I found a botanical book by Fred Hageneder.
Full taxine content in leaves varies by season, taking from 0.5% in summer to 2% in winter. To check the math let's take our 50g of leaves (needles). Lower amount is 0.5% times 50g, so 250mg. That are all taxines in that amount of leaves. About 30% is taxine B, getting us at around 75mg, so same result as before.
(I stumbled upon another source mentioning lethal dose of leaves to be from 50g to 100g, so I guess our 50g is for lighter human.)

Now, turns out seeds inside their shells contain less taxine than leaf tissue, not more. They contain around 0.33%, with the same concentration of taxine B in overall composition.
Basically lethal dose of seeds is 1.5 times that of leaves. So 75g of crushed seeds without the outer wooden shells. And if you're light or regular weight human.

 

[Suine Kurisu]

Yes, I found a botanical book by Fred Hageneder.
Full taxine content in leaves varies by season, taking from 0.5% in summer to 2% in winter. To check the math let's take our 50g of leaves (needles). Lower amount is 0.5% times 50g, so 250mg. That are all taxines in that amount of leaves. About 30% is taxine B, getting us at around 75mg, so same result as before.
(I stumbled upon another source mentioning lethal dose of leaves to be from 50g to 100g, so I guess our 50g is for lighter human.)

Now, turns out seeds inside their shells contain less taxine than leaf tissue, not more. They contain around 0.33% (no info about seasonal variability), with the same concentration of taxine B in overall composition.
Basically lethal dose of seeds is 1.5 times that of leaves. So 75g of crushed seeds without the outer wooden shells. And if you're light or regular weight human.

it seems like i would need a lot more seeds then. like, a thousand of them. if anything, it looks like i may be buying my own plant after all. maybe a combination of everything together will be enough if i get myself a large enough specimen. i'll be able to purchase that as soon as tomorrow. i'm a bit on the smaller side so theoretically i shouldn't need to get a huge one or anything.