whotookmylexapro
Member
- Jan 19, 2024
- 67
My only day off from work. Spent spiraling down with my delusional/ disordered thinking. Made a huge mess, have deep cuts and wounds all over my body, and a massive migraine. Im so tired of having this mental disorder. I cant reach out for help. If i do, all that would happen is that i will be locked up in the hospital for weeks taking medications that i know will not work, only for me to be discharged and homeless, failing college, and absolutely no improvements. I cannot miss a day of work or else i will be fired. I cannot miss a day of school or else i will fail. I cannot miss rent or i will be homeless. Im stuck in a rock and hard place. Theres no escape except for death.
Im struggling so hard to keep my life in order but i feel like my house of cards is going to come crashing down. Im failure, a loser, a mess. Theres no place in the world for a person like me. I consider myself dead already. Its not like im even living at this point.
And now i dont know how to explain everything when my parents, professor, or job asks me what happened with these scars, or why i look like a total mess. I cant keep fronting myself as living a normal life. The walls are starting to crack. Its pretty much over for me.
Please if someone has an SN source please dm me it. I cannot keep living life like this. Its a necessity at this point.
Im struggling so hard to keep my life in order but i feel like my house of cards is going to come crashing down. Im failure, a loser, a mess. Theres no place in the world for a person like me. I consider myself dead already. Its not like im even living at this point.
And now i dont know how to explain everything when my parents, professor, or job asks me what happened with these scars, or why i look like a total mess. I cant keep fronting myself as living a normal life. The walls are starting to crack. Its pretty much over for me.
Please if someone has an SN source please dm me it. I cannot keep living life like this. Its a necessity at this point.
