Discussion 48 Hour Protocol

[persepexa]

So as of 8am this morning I have started the 48 hour protocol. I plan to CTB at midnight tomorrow so it will technically be my 30th birthday.

I feel sad if I'm being honest. I never wanted my life to end up this way. But I know it's the right decision for me. I hate myself and what my life has become. I'm a pathetic mess and it's all my fault. I ruined every aspect of my life and I never recovered from it.

On the one hand I want to do it now. On the other hand I think I was right to choose the 48 hour protocol as it gives me 48 hours to process this.

Is there anything I should do before I go? I'll be writing messages to a few people in my life, and calling some people one last time if I can't see them face to face. I said goodbye to my only friend yesterday. She didn't realise it, she thought I was just being sappy. I told her I loved her and was really glad we were friends. I'm just trying to think now if there's anything else I should be organising. I of course will give my room a bit of a clean for when I am found. Not sure what else there is to do.

 

[EmptyBottle]

Is there anything I should do before I go? I'll be writing messages to a few people in my life, and calling some people one last time if I can't see them face to face. I said goodbye to my only friend yesterday. She didn't realise it, she thought I was just being sappy. I told her I loved her and was really glad we were friends. I'm just trying to think now if there's anything else I should be organising. I of course will give my room a bit of a clean for when I am found. Not sure what else there is to do.

Maybe write about it, share some cool facts about urself that u forgot to share here?
My room also needs a little clean tbh, tks for reminding me.

 

[soul2realm]

I am sorry that you have to take this decision. But just to clarify, it is often the kind and benevolent souls that tend to judge themselves as a mess. I don't know what to say here. If you'd like to talk, please feel free to do so. Sending you loads of love and blessings.

 

[EmptyBottle]

Just remember that we won't judge regardless of whether you delay, continue or cancel the protocol.

Sending virtual birthday cake from Australia.

 

[spero_meliora]

if you end up delaying - it's okay. just like others have said.

get your notes in order, maybe write down your story if you want to share it, and people here will be here for you if you need it. if you're concerned, you may also want to wipe your devices.

we only spoke briefly, but i'll miss you, friend. slán abhaile, suaimhneas síoraí do d'anam.

 

[persepexa]

Maybe write about it, share some cool facts about urself that u forgot to share here?
My room also needs a little clean tbh, tks for reminding me.

I'm not sure there are any cool facts about me. But I will be writing about it. The first day is just taking the AE. Day 2 is where things get serious.

I am sorry that you have to take this decision. But just to clarify, it is often the kind and benevolent souls that tend to judge themselves as a mess. I don't know what to say here. If you'd like to talk, please feel free to do so. Sending you loads of love and blessings.

Thank you. That's very kind of you.

Just remember that we won't judge regardless of whether you delay, continue or cancel the protocol.

Sending virtual birthday cake from Australia.

Thank you.

if you end up delaying - it's okay. just like others have said.

get your notes in order, maybe write down your story if you want to share it, and people here will be here for you if you need it. if you're concerned, you may also want to wipe your devices.

we only spoke briefly, but i'll miss you, friend. slán abhaile, suaimhneas síoraí do d'anam.

Yeah I think tonight will be writing down notes, messages things like that.

And go raibh maith agat. I'll miss you too.

 

[UserFromNowhere]

Hopefully you find peace. I know your life has been tough and you've been seeking a way out. I will offer the perspective that the door is always open and you don't have to go through it in this moment, but it is a very personal decision.

 

[dewdfish]

I hope it all goes smooth and you find peace

 

[ifihadnever]

you are in my thoughts

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope you find peace from suffering, I wish you the best.

 

[the_world_is_on_fir]

If i were in u, I'd buy a white box, and I'd write letters for the loved ones, explaining that is not their fault, and that they have to keep living also for u. This may not be a lot but it will probably help them to move on. I'd also write some letter to people that u had a fight with to forgive them if u want. I'd also write some instructions for the funeral if u have something in mind. This should keep u occupied and also make u think about your condition. I hope u find peace wether u do it or not. U deserve to have peace

 

[Hopeindeath!]

I'm sorry life is so bad for you that you feel you need to do this.

 

[Uncounted1846]

Here's hoping you find the peace and serenity you couldn't find on earth!

How're you feeling about the 48h protocol as the clock ticks off?

 

[peacefulnights]

You are a kind soul Persepexa, I really appreciate you being someone I can talk to here. I hope you find the peace you desire you deserve it whether its now or later

 

[darksouls]

good luck,
I wish you the best, I hope you find relief from suffering

 

[metfan647]

How you holding up?