So like the title says it's been a few years since I've had sex, I've basically closed myself off from the idea of trying to find anyone after my last relationship but lately with my suicidal thoughts and loneliness increasing I decided to try connecting with an old friend that I used to have a crush on and hadn't talked to in a few years (one of the only friends I've really felt like hanging out with in a long time, I don't have any new friends since my last relationship started about 5-6 years ago).
Well last night I made my move (after hanging out a few separate times recently), we had some light foreplay then we fell off the couch and ended up in a doggy style position, this is where my night just fell apart. After about 5-10 minutes of trying to get hard she just stopped me and said that it's not going to work, I went into an internal anxiety attack and got super noxious so she went out with me to get fresh air and she basically just friend zoned me by telling me we've been friends awhile and she doesn't want to create tension, which I understand, sexual tension is a bitch but man, I felt like I had broken free from my anxiety for a few minutes but now I'm just worried this is what it's going to be like from now on, that even after waiting years to get to the opportunity I won't be able to get hard and please a woman... honestly I had no issues until I got the sense I blew my one and only chance with her, now I have to deal with the inevitable sexual tension and my longing for a close, sexual companion....It was nice to feel alive for a bit though, as shit as the ending makes me feel now. Well, I just had to get this off my chest while I wait for a response from her about what happened and if she'd like to talk about it
Well last night I made my move (after hanging out a few separate times recently), we had some light foreplay then we fell off the couch and ended up in a doggy style position, this is where my night just fell apart. After about 5-10 minutes of trying to get hard she just stopped me and said that it's not going to work, I went into an internal anxiety attack and got super noxious so she went out with me to get fresh air and she basically just friend zoned me by telling me we've been friends awhile and she doesn't want to create tension, which I understand, sexual tension is a bitch but man, I felt like I had broken free from my anxiety for a few minutes but now I'm just worried this is what it's going to be like from now on, that even after waiting years to get to the opportunity I won't be able to get hard and please a woman... honestly I had no issues until I got the sense I blew my one and only chance with her, now I have to deal with the inevitable sexual tension and my longing for a close, sexual companion....It was nice to feel alive for a bit though, as shit as the ending makes me feel now. Well, I just had to get this off my chest while I wait for a response from her about what happened and if she'd like to talk about it
