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[𝑹𝒂𝒘 𝑷𝒓𝒆𝒎𝒂𝒅𝒆 𝑷𝒊𝒛𝒛𝒂]

I'm very tired.
Honestly, I'm suicidal.
I have been self harming pretty heavily
I've been crying all day, all day. At night I can't sleep because of all my distress and I end up crying as well.
I'm desperate, but still I'm in recovery, I guess. I know it has ups and downs don't tell me that.

I feel miserable inside, and I can't let it show too much...
My hands shake, I can't focus, I'm in a crisis, I'm scared, I will hide myself and be more cautious now, I don't want to be triggered even more, I'll try to find ways to manage this
My head hurts
The curious thing is, even though this episode is very bad and my symptoms are strong, I'm still pushing through and doing things, cleaning eating drinking etc. At least ...
I don't know what else to say, don't really wanna say more

 

[avalokitesvara]

I'm sorry you're in so much distress and struggling so hard. You are strong, courageous and brave. I hope things become less hard for you soon. Take care

 

[GlassMoon]

I'm sorry to hear you had to cry for so long. I supposed it must be very tiring!

IMHO it's a good idea to keep pushing yourself to do something like you are. Sometimes we can't control the way we feel and what we think, but we can change what we do, even if it is hard. That can break the cycle, even if only a bit. Can you look back onto your day and be a little bit happy about your achievements, especially in light of all the struggles? And maybe give yourself a little treat for it, whatever that may be? I hope there's something you can give to yourself

 

[𝑹𝒂𝒘 𝑷𝒓𝒆𝒎𝒂𝒅𝒆 𝑷𝒊𝒛𝒛𝒂]

I'm sorry you're in so much distress and struggling so hard. You are strong, courageous and brave. I hope things become less hard for you soon. Take care

Thank you ava. Sorry for not responding earlier, I'm still feeling bad... Sometimes during the day I want to randomly start crying, it's not "for no reason", my emotions get overwhelming...
I feel like I could write a whole book about my pain, but nothing comes out. I feel bad. Very bad.

I'm sorry to hear you had to cry for so long. I supposed it must be very tiring!

IMHO it's a good idea to keep pushing yourself to do something like you are. Sometimes we can't control the way we feel and what we think, but we can change what we do, even if it is hard. That can break the cycle, even if only a bit. Can you look back onto your day and be a little bit happy about your achievements, especially in light of all the struggles? And maybe give yourself a little treat for it, whatever that may be? I hope there's something you can give to yourself

Thank you glass I like treating myself, it's nice. I will keep doing that.