1 month til I CTB

[korosenai]

Hello friends ^-^

I'm new here but I've officially marked the date that I'll ctb, the day being July 7th, approximately one month from now. The date has no significance but is when I can collect my $5,000 tax return from work (which I'll send to my family along with the rest of my savings).

I'm on Annual Leave from work for the next 3 weeks, I just turned 20 and i'm not in University or anything so I've got a full month to myself to organize everything I need to have done before i ctb!
My list of things I need to do in these 32 days:
- Write letters
- Send all my savings to my family (I don't actually care for them too much, but it's the least I can do for them spending time and money raising me only for me to off myself, besides I think the bank gives ownership of my account to them once I die anyway)
- Quit my job in advanced so they don't question why I don't show up to work the next day
- Most importantly, collect all the resources I need for the SN method. (Partial hanging is my backup plan if I'm unable to gather everything I need in time)

My main goal is to go out peacefully and sleep forever by the end of this as it's something I've been planning on doing for 7 years and I'm finally going through with it, so any advice or support on how to go about it swiftly is greatly appreciated, I'm going to be around for the next month so if anyone wants to msg me I'd love to listen to what other people are going through or if you just want someone to talk to. Thanks ^-^

 

[korosenai]

I will be posting progress and notes until the day I ctb next month ^-^

Cancelled all my paid subscriptions
Purchased everything I need for SN (hopefully it makes it here, I hear COVID-19 is delaying shipments)
Officially quit my full time job (this was a huge step for me as this was the last thing I had to hold on to)

Now that I have left my job I finally have nothing left to come back to. Even if I somehow get saved there is nothing left for me in this world, no job to return to, no reason to stay, no reason to live. It's such a weird feeling knowing you are going to die, most people don't get the luxury to choose their own death and there is actually a thought at the bottom of my mind clawing at me to stay alive but it immediately vanishes when I remember there is no reason to stay.

I still have a few things left to do like write letters and book a hotel room but the hardest part is behind me, I'm going to try to enjoy the rest of my little holiday while i'm still here.