1 downside to help

[Shewaitsforme]

Its 11am here in the UK and ive wanted a drink for the last hour and a half. Had a doctors appointment at 9, actually was honest with them, didnt hide whats really going on for once but now its all in my head and its crushing, now i need few drinks to hopefully fall asleep. This is what worries me about recovery, each time i talk i punish myself afterwards. What is that about

 

[Lra888]

Therapy does this to me too. It brings up so many painful feelings. It's traumatizing to face all of these things and communicate them to another person. I was in mental agony after that appointment and was questioning what good it did me to get myself close to breakdown.

Then I went back to my filthy neglected apartment and layed on my bed for the rest of the day, my head all fucked up in a state of near panic, feeling so alone and hopeless. It made me realize that I'm likely beyond help.

 

[Shewaitsforme]

Therapy does this to me too. It brings up so many painful feelings. It's traumatizing to face all of these things and communicate them to another person. I was in mental agony after that appointment and was questioning what good it did me to get myself close to breakdown.

Then I went back to my filthy neglected apartment and layed on my bed for the rest of the day, my head all fucked up in a state of near panic, feeling so alone and hopeless. It made me realize that I'm likely beyond help.

If i didnt go they would have got the mental health team to come to my place anyway and when i was there she said if i dobt attend the follow up appointment next week again it will mean someone coming out to me and likely being taken into hospital again. Atleast i managed to stop her giving me meds, i just admitted me having medication leads to ODs, the first week i came out of hospital i took 2 and still dont remember much of the second one. I cant 100% say ill be here next Monday, just taking it one day at a time