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eatantz

eatantz

I luv dolls
Nov 4, 2023
304
Do you benefit from your autism? Do you wish you were never born with it? What are your pros and cons?

Personally, I hate my autism its ruined my chances of enjoying my life and has made everything from school to friends a nightmare. The stereotype for autistics is a straight white man who's really good at maths and lacks empathy. I'm the opposite from this, I'm a queer mixed woman who's really bad at maths [dyscalculia] and is overly sensitive.

I saw a post on tiktok of people debating this and the comments were all positive of people saying their autism has helped them in life. I think my autism is broken then because it only makes me suffer.
 
T

thenamingofcats

annihilation anxiety
Apr 19, 2024
358
Autism has set me back pretty badly but I think it's my trauma history that did me in more (the autism made me an easy target). But I like my autistic brain for a lot of reasons and how it works with my personality. I like that I can look at something and figure out how it works and I notice details others don't. Temple Grandin talks a lot about this and I think I have the same type of autistic mind. Other people HATE it, oh man do they hate it. I don't like constantly being told that I think too much or to stop thinking. I bond over shared interests so if those aren't present I probably won't bond at all. So those are my pros and cons.
 
sserafim

sserafim

they say it’s darkest of all before the dawn
Sep 13, 2023
8,042
I have Asperger's and I guess the benefit is that it makes me less susceptible to social and societal conditioning and brainwashing? I feel like I see the truth easier than others do. I can cut through the lies. I'm not oversocialized like most people are. I don't hate myself or have low self-esteem. Rather, I hate society, the world, and other people. I couldn't care less about conforming to the norm and societal expectations

"Psychologists use the term "socialization" to designate the process by which children are trained to think and act as society demands. A person is said to be well socialized if he believes in and obeys the moral code of his society and fits in well as a functioning part of that society. It may seem senseless to say that many leftists are oversocialized, since the leftist is perceived as a rebel. Nevertheless, the position can be defended. Many leftists are not such rebels as they seem.

The moral code of our society is so demanding that no one can think, feel and act in a completely moral way. For example, we are not supposed to hate anyone, yet almost everyone hates somebody at some time or other, whether he admits it to himself or not. Some people are so highly socialized that the attempt to think, feel and act morally imposes a severe burden on them. In order to avoid feelings of guilt, they continually have to deceive themselves about their own motives and find moral explanations for feelings and actions that in reality have a non-moral origin. We use the term "oversocialized" to describe such people.

Oversocialization can lead to low self-esteem, a sense of powerlessness, defeatism, guilt, etc. One of the most important means by which our society socializes children is by making them feel ashamed of behavior or speech that is contrary to society's expectations. If this is overdone, or if a particular child is especially susceptible to such feelings, he ends by feeling ashamed of HIMSELF. Moreover the thought and the behavior of the oversocialized person are more restricted by society's expectations than are those of the lightly socialized person. The majority of people engage in a significant amount of naughty behavior. They lie, they commit petty thefts, they break traffic laws, they goof off at work, they hate someone, they say spiteful things or they use some underhanded trick to get ahead of the other guy. The oversocialized person cannot do these things, or if he does do them he generates in himself a sense of shame and self-hatred. The oversocialized person cannot even experience, without guilt, thoughts or feelings that are contrary to the accepted morality; he cannot think "unclean" thoughts. And socialization is not just a matter of morality; we are socialized to conform to many norms of behavior that do not fall under the heading of morality. Thus the oversocialized person is kept on a psychological leash and spends his life running on rails that society has laid down for him. In many oversocialized people this results in a sense of constraint and powerlessness that can be a severe hardship. We suggest that oversocialization is among the more serious cruelties that human beings inflict on one another."
 
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leavingthesoultrap

leavingthesoultrap

(ᴗ_ ᴗ。)
Nov 25, 2023
1,070
No I don't benefit from it. I used think I did and that being able to spend large amounts of time completely alone and not be bothered by it was an interesting asset.
But the reality is that my autism directly interferes with my ability to hold down a job a provide for myself and that is a massive con.
Everything bad I am dealing with right now in my life is directly related to my autism and recieving my diagnosis late.
Like you I am bad at math however I am not overly sensitive.
 
ijustwishtodie

ijustwishtodie

death will be my ultimate bliss
Oct 29, 2023
2,659
Autism has made my life absolute hell. Because of my autism, I got bullied a lot during childhood and I also never talked to anybody of my classmates back at school. When I say that I never made a single irl friend, I mean it literally and I don't say it as a hyperbole. Because of my autism, my childhood which could have been utopia sadly isn't. But of course my issues don't stop there. Whenever it comes to me doing any tasks, I'm incredibly slow at understanding it as well as executing it. It has made my parents get pissed at me in the past as I'm just too slow and unreceptive when it comes to doing tasks.

Oh also, autism continues to make my life hell as, well, the social skills that I had during childhood (which is non existent as you can infer from my first paragraph) is also the same during my adulthood which makes holding down a job more difficult for me. Don't get me wrong, I never really wanted to work anyway but the only alternative to work is CTB and I'm terrified at trying to kill myself as I'm scared at the attempt going horribly wrong and giving me permanent and brutal injuries.

So since I'm forced to stay alive, I at least would rather prefer things to be easy for me than for things to be difficult for me. I don't want challenges or hardship at all... I want to get through everything in life with ease. However, of course things aren't easy for me because of my autism. A normie has to go through so much challenges already but I have to go through way more challenges than they do because of my autism. As an example, I tried applying for entry level jobs before and I got rejected again and again after applying numerous times.

Another way in which autism makes my life hell is by how easily I feel pain. I'm overly sensitive too and I react extremely to even the smallest amount of discomfort (this is also a reason why I find it difficult to CTB). I hate being so overly sensitive, it hurts. This is probably the worst autistic trait that I have. If I had a choice to remove one trait due to my autism, I'd choose this one without a hesitation.

I wrote a lot about the negative parts of my autism but I suppose I can give a few words for the positive parts of my autism too. Those few words are how, because of my autism, I question society and the system hence I at least understand what society is life instead of being blissfully unaware. Because of this, I'm not justifying living through old age which means that I can make sure that I prevent me from suffering more (i.e. by CTB).

All in all, my autism has been absolute hell. Because of it, I believe that I have suffered more than enough and that my suffering is absolutely valid and real. I also believe that if anybody living right now were to live through life with a brain like mine, they would be craving for death the same way I do. It doesn't matter how resilient they are, they will become suicidal just like me

I can't relate to people who like their autism or people whose autism has gave them an advantage in life but, then again, my autism isn't the hyper genius savant type autism. My autism is just a suffering package all in one. Of course since this is a suicide site, you'd expect the people with autism here to not have had a good experience with it whereas the people on tiktok are far different

I wrote a lot this time and I honestly could write more but I think I wrote more than enough. This post may not be coherent at all as I was only venting and not focusing on how coherent it is
 
Terry A. Davis

Terry A. Davis

Member
Aug 28, 2023
47
Makes me misread signals from people which can land me in a lot of embarrassing situations. I can sound very dismissive of people (apparantly) without meaning to which can make people think I don't like them and I'm a grumpy nasty person. I'm working on my tone of voice but sometimes when I'm stressed I can't help but sound a bit aggrivated. People just always think it's aimed at them instead of just being me stressed out. Happens especially if I'm concentrating on something and someone pulls me out of that concentration to ask me about something stupid. Takes me a long time to zone back in especially if there is a lot of background noise.

I also struggle to hold down a job for this reason. I think the longest job I've held down was for about a year and a bit but I eventually have to leave. Just recently started a new job a couple months ago and already I've had to take a week off work because I came down with a terrible flu that has wiped me out. Burnout is no joke.

My whole life I've been called lazy etc but I've objectively put in more effort (to the point of becoming sick) than alot of people I know in order to reach the same level they are at. They just think I'm lazy because the same task is effortless for them.
 
Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
19,369
I don't know if I actually have autism but my sister has a very severe form of it which has still impacted my life in many ways. For one, having to help out with her has taken a lot of the empathy I used to have for others because it's left me so burnt out. On the other hand, because of her disability being so severe, we get a lot of free money from the government. Then again most of that money goes right back to dealing with whatever horrible behavior she's currently picked up.

Autism may have also affected me through my father who we have theorized probably has Asperger's even if he refuses to accept that.
 
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surroundedbydemons

surroundedbydemons

Experienced
Mar 6, 2024
295
Con: you cannot fit in naturally with normal people. You have to exert mental energy. That is tiring.
Pro: you can listen to autistic people without feeling any pain that NT might experience.

Con: You can miss some social cues, which may damage your relationships.
Pro: You are good at pattern recognition, which may be applied not only to your social life but also to your hobbies, such as art, clothing, math, literature, etc.

Pro: You are not afraid of acknowledging the truth.
Con: you have to constantly sugarcoat and lie to normal people because they cannot handle blunt honesty.

~~~
There are pros and cons of each. I think it depends on a person's experience.

Sensitivity can be different for everyone. Personally, I am extremely sensitive to all kinds of sounds, both loud and quiet. This is a con in the modern world, but I think I would have made a good hunter in the past - I definitely should give it a go sometime.

Empathy is a bit more complex for me. It seems to involve a general difficulty in experiencing emotions. When someone hugs me, for example, I don't naturally feel anything in response; it requires conscious effort to engage. I wonder if this lack of empathy/feelings might have been advantageous in the past. For example, it allowed people like me to execute hostiles without any remorse.

~~~
My school experience was actually good. I grew up in a relatively collectivistic society, so I have not experienced any bullying. Moreover, my classmates always tried to integrate me into "normal" life. (I am surprised by the contrasting experiences that people from the US describe)

Interestingly, I had good experience interacting with goal-oriented people who dislike mingling and get straight to the point/problem-solving.

The stereotype for autistics is a straight white man who's really good at maths and lacks empathy.
literally me wtf
 
1MiserableGuy

1MiserableGuy

Specialist
Dec 30, 2023
367
From people without it claiming to have it and then using it as a one way ticket out of responsibilities, much like depression was in the 2010s and ADHD was in the 2000s
 
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KuriGohan&Kamehameha

KuriGohan&Kamehameha

想死不能 - 想活不能
Nov 23, 2020
1,535
People don't take me seriously, don't respect me, and never will. No matter what country I'm in, what city or town, what setting, I am always going to be some sort of alien species.

No matter how much I practice my social skills and attempt to blend in, no matter where I go, people will always be able to tell that there is something off about me, something wrong with me. I wasn't blessed with the savant syndrome core autism, but the sort that makes me slow, clumsy, and lacking in both creativity and numerical skills.

I become obsessed with something but am incapable of diving deep into it due to this executive dysfunction. Such a personality ensures a lifetime of bullying, until you become self-aware enough to mask it. Now, I have no real special interests anymore, and having something to fixate that obsessive energy on is crucial for many autistic people's wellbeing.

In short, I hate it. And I especially hate how there is now going to be a lack of research into autism because the loud mouth geniuses have spread blatant misinformation that most autistic people have special talents and we need to accept our gift. Gift, my ass.
 
Dark Moon

Dark Moon

Autistic, death will give me peace.
Sep 21, 2022
556
I got diagnosed as a teenager and it has only made my life worse not better, I still don't know how to properly socialize with people, read body language, social skills, social cues, eye contact etc. Making friends and finding girlfriends is tough. People also sense there's something off with me at times.

I don't really fit in or belong anywhere, I did get bullied too which has affected me.

The job process of looking for jobs, applying and getting an interview is awful. I don't think I'm capable of working either. I also don't want to participate in society unless I got the right support and I'm still skeptical.

I usually don't know how to deal with people but I have got this sense of courage and fearlessness to me which comes out at times and that's not often.

I'm also not good at maths.
 
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blackexile

blackexile

Christ like figure
May 11, 2024
4
Do you benefit from your autism? Do you wish you were never born with it? What are your pros and cons?

Personally, I hate my autism its ruined my chances of enjoying my life and has made everything from school to friends a nightmare. The stereotype for autistics is a straight white man who's really good at maths and lacks empathy. I'm the opposite from this, I'm a queer mixed woman who's really bad at maths [dyscalculia] and is overly sensitive.

I saw a post on tiktok of people debating this and the comments were all positive of people saying their autism has helped them in life. I think my autism is broken then because it only makes me suffer.
i relate heavily to this, im basically everything you described exept im black. it feels more like a curse if anything. i feel as though im simply not human.
 
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leloyon

leloyon

Sick Of It All
Feb 4, 2023
939
I saw a post on tiktok of people debating this and the comments were all positive of people saying their autism has helped them in life. I think my autism is broken then because it only makes me suffer.
I would say the toxic positivity surrounding autism is annoying, especially because nowadays people are quick to cry ableism as a result of it.
For the record, I have been diagnosed as autistic, but I consider this a misdiagnosis and do not think I have autism.