Chuuya-Chan ⋆. 𐙚˚
Student
- Oct 8, 2024
- 188
Currently I walk around a park with my family, we just left my sisters ultra sound appointment and my moms brought up how my sister can't decide if she'll be staying with her partner or going with the family once they move.
The baby will be here in spring.
As I walk around I can't help but feel a bit somber I've just entered my twenties and I haven't had a friend in ten years. And my hope for friendship has dwindled drastically since I've been hearing that the years going forward it'll be harder and harder to find connections.
There's only a little more than a week left of this year, I'm supposed to be making an inspiration board…I know I'm being dramatic but I just feel like my life's over already, the rest of my life feels like it's already written in stone to be poverty stricken and full of depression. I don't know what's come over me, I guess I'm thinking of what could have been and it's left me feeling a bit numb.
I've also been desperately trying to wear off the despair from finding out that it's gone from 3 months, 5 months, to the end of 2025 that I'll possibly get to move in with my friend…it just feels like it'll never happen…
On a better note I'm trying to stay positive that a little bit of progress, slow progress, is better than none.
Wrote this around 2 pm and have absolutely no idea what I'll do once I get home other than work on homework and possibly make some decent meals to eat…I'm really counting on Christmas to bring me up, or at least forget about the nasty things for a moment.
5 pm.
Just finished a session with Cherry and I feel a lot better, and honestly another thing I thought when I was out is how I perceive some people as making decisions/being almost effortless isn't really reality, I suppose.
7 pm
I finished doing dancing, not as hard as the first time I tried, I think it's getting easier.also just take not the better half of this post is mostly just a vent
Honestly I feel a lot better after I exorcised.
9 pm.
Watching full metal alchemist for the first time , it's pretty good!
Anyways, found out my physical journals lost so I'm kinda sad, but for the rest of this evening I'm just gonna chill, signing out
Xxx
The baby will be here in spring.
As I walk around I can't help but feel a bit somber I've just entered my twenties and I haven't had a friend in ten years. And my hope for friendship has dwindled drastically since I've been hearing that the years going forward it'll be harder and harder to find connections.
There's only a little more than a week left of this year, I'm supposed to be making an inspiration board…I know I'm being dramatic but I just feel like my life's over already, the rest of my life feels like it's already written in stone to be poverty stricken and full of depression. I don't know what's come over me, I guess I'm thinking of what could have been and it's left me feeling a bit numb.
I've also been desperately trying to wear off the despair from finding out that it's gone from 3 months, 5 months, to the end of 2025 that I'll possibly get to move in with my friend…it just feels like it'll never happen…
On a better note I'm trying to stay positive that a little bit of progress, slow progress, is better than none.
Wrote this around 2 pm and have absolutely no idea what I'll do once I get home other than work on homework and possibly make some decent meals to eat…I'm really counting on Christmas to bring me up, or at least forget about the nasty things for a moment.
5 pm.
Just finished a session with Cherry and I feel a lot better, and honestly another thing I thought when I was out is how I perceive some people as making decisions/being almost effortless isn't really reality, I suppose.
7 pm
I finished doing dancing, not as hard as the first time I tried, I think it's getting easier.also just take not the better half of this post is mostly just a vent
Honestly I feel a lot better after I exorcised.
9 pm.
Watching full metal alchemist for the first time , it's pretty good!
Anyways, found out my physical journals lost so I'm kinda sad, but for the rest of this evening I'm just gonna chill, signing out
Xxx
