Venting You’ll do it once

[lavenderlilylies]

It takes a moment of bravery to end years of suffering. Just one decision, one action, and it's all gone. I'm scared, I'll always be, no amount of meticulous planning will prepare me for it. I don't have any tools, i know it'll be painful, but it'll be the end, i won't have to live through another day.
I have no idea how I'll do it. I can crash into something but i wouldn't want to ruin my dad's car. I can hang off my ceiling fan but I'm not sure if it'll take my weight, I'm 42 kg if anyone has an idea lmk. I pretty much have no other way

 

[lavenderlilylies]

I think using the window as an anchor point has a better chance of holding me. I don't even have a rope so I'll probably tie any fabric around and hope for the best. I could do partial hanging with a door knob but then it's easier to get out of whenever si hits

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm so sorry for your situation. I would urge you to do proper planing though to be honest. Just doing it once is the ideal but it doesn't always work out that way. Many people fail attempts and can end up worse off with long-term injuries.

Not too sure about the sound of using fabric for instance. I don't know much about hanging but I've definitely come across failed attempts where knots/ anchor points and the rope or whatever else has failed.

I also like to think that I'll just need to be brave once and then, it will all be over but I don't think impulsivity always works out too well.

 

[lavenderlilylies]

I'm so sorry for your situation. I would urge you to do proper planing though to be honest. Just doing it once is the ideal but it doesn't always work out that way. Many people fail attempts and can end up worse off with long-term injuries.

Not too sure about the sound of using fabric for instance. I don't know much about hanging but I've definitely come across failed attempts where knots/ anchor points and the rope or whatever else has failed.

I also like to think that I'll just need to be brave once and then, it will all be over but I don't think impulsivity always works out too well.

I know it's very stupid but if i spent more time planning i know i won't do it. I'm too much of a coward

 

[NeoN0va]

Hanging with fabric is not a good idea in my opinion. If you had just enough time to plan everything (Doesnt have to be detailed, just overall a plan), then trust me, it would be better for you. I had the same around 2 years ago; It was the first time I decided to attempt CTB, but I failed due to not only poor knowledge, but also no plan whatsoever (I wanted to die by cutting my veins, it was a stupid fucking idea. I ended up with just slitting my wrist a bit, then couldnt go further due to pain). Now, 2 years later, I have a fully detailed plan, with the only thing that can save me being others actions. As of right now I dont have a specific date when I will CTB, as I got a little positive yesterday (One of the roots of all my problems has went back to work in foreign country, as of right now I have peace of mind). Trust me, its better to spend some time learning and planning, than to fail and possibly be unable to retry your CTB. Hope you find what you wish for soon.

 

[LunarLight]

I know it's very stupid but if i spent more time planning i know i won't do it.

The point is, if you don't spend more time planning it, you're at higher risk of failure. So you probably won't do it either.

 

[FuneralCry]

To never suffer another day is personally all I hope for, I wish it's not so difficult to finally be free from this existence. But anyway I wish you the best.