Would you say goodbye to your family and friends before comitting suicide?

[iwantitalltoend]

I thought about what to do if I decide on how to kill myself, if I should write a goodbye letter or send a message on the phone so that at least my parents, sister, relatives and the people who know me know what happened to me. If I don't write any goodbye letter then no one will know what happened, they won't have any answer as to why I disappeared, they'll only know that I disappeared without any explanation. I know this is a personal choice and it depends on each person if they want to write a goodbye letter, maybe some want to while others don't. I don't think writing a letter is necessary since each of us has our own lives and we decide what we do with it, we don't really owe anyone an explanation as to why we commit suicide, but I also think about what my family would do if they don't know why I disappeared. I don't know what to do about this. What do you think about this, would you write a goodbye letter?

 

[moonlightbeach]

only about 40% of all ctb's are accompanied by a note. my attempt had goodbye messages for everyone as a whole and a note, as well as a written note for the first responders. i love my note so much and i wouldn't change it in any way but this time i do want to personalize a bit and write a message for specifically one person and write another note for everyone else. no writing a letter is not necessary. many people don't because they feel like they'd be misunderstood and that they'll get blamed on. that is true you don't owe anyone an explanation. i do feel like writing the note helped me "finalize" the moment, it being like the last thing on my checklist. i also did not want people to question me and i just described it in plain words and some beautiful poetry. i think it still is the best thing i've ever written. my reason for writing a note was just spreading awareness for people that are similar to me and all the struggles that i'm experiencing and for people to do better. if you feel like you don't have those people that want to know that then you don't have to write anything. but it does help people SO MUCH to get over it especially if you mention that it ended your suffering and that you're happy about it. it's all free estate because it is your note and you decide what you want to write in it. you can also blame someone if you feel like it. i did.

 

[unluckysadness]

My goodbye letter is ready. I didn't explain a lot. My family knows I'm suffering so much.

 

[knickknack81]

I think id write something brief. Not go super into details but a generalization as to whey I had to do what I did. Also telling friends and I family I loved them and I hope them well. I wouldn't want to tell anyone in advance but id have a note for them to read after I go. At least that's how I would picture it.

 

[Ch4in3dcr0w]

Im considering not leaving a note. There is no need to explain yourself why you are doing it and stuff no one has to know that and if u want to u can take it to your grave.

The only reason why would i put a note is to let them know they were amazing and its not thier fault so they dont blame themselfs after my CTB when they did everything they could (even sometimes too much).

 

[2muchpain2]

i wrote one then burned it. the act of ctb has been deemed as "selfish" by those who have never experienced suicide ideology and therefore I feel selfish doing it and with that guilt comes the fear of leaving a note

 

[closetoyou]

i'll write a will and leave it somewhere, but i feel like i wouldn't write a note. there's people i love but even then, it seem to have issues with everything and everyone. maybe that's on me, but i just want to be honest when i ctb so i think it's a fair trade - i won't just crash out all my frustrations but i'm not gonna give much closure apart from that. maybe it's a bit cold hearted but yeah.

plan on giving a friend a gift or whatever, leave most of my stuff to my sister and then so be it

 

[moonlightbeach]

The only reason why would i put a note is to let them know they were amazing and its not thier fault so they dont blame themselfs after my CTB when they did everything they could (even sometimes too much).

this is the way to do it honestly. if you want to leave one thing then it's this. make sure to leave this for the police for sure. i wrote that my therapists and my friend helped me as much as they all could and i love them and that nothing could be done about it, that it was inevitable. really does help people.

 

[dearlydeparted44]

No. I don't see the point. Even my closest loved ones will move on and forget about me. And I'm fine with that. Plus, I'm not crying out for help. I WANT to catch the bus. This is the best thing possible for me. Therefore, telling people will only discomfort them and may cause interference and intervention with my plans. I'd only tell people if I were crying for help or attention. I won't write a note because I just simply don't want to. I've left instructions on what to do with my stuff and my body. Ultimately, they'll do what they want. It's taking me all the strength that I have left just to overcome my survival impulse. I don't need to expend one ounce of it trying to tell people vailed goodbyes and make people uncomfortable. I just hope that they understand that none of this is their fault. I made this decision and peace with it a long time ago.

 

[UnusedGate]

I definitely plan on writing a note but it's more for myself. Its to remind myself that I need to do this, basically its to help overcome SI.

 

[FadingSnowFake]

I will send a message to my one person, because I know that if I was in his shoes, I would want to know, and I know it will break him, but it will break him more not to know. Because that is how I would feel if he did this. I think my family would understand, and we're not that close, but I'll be leaving instructions of who to notify for legal purposes.

 

[starboy2k]

Theres no point in me writing a note. I was told that my suicidal ideations were "selfish", "threatening", and "manipulative". I already tried to voice my intentions and was met with vitriol…..if you didn't listen to me while I was alive, you don't deserve to hear what I have to say when I die.

 

[chakravyuh]

I am writing letters for them but a personal goodbye would not be possible for me.

 

[bloominghopelessne]

Rather no. I once tried to talk about my suicide with my partner, and he took it extremely conflictually. I do not know if I could have expected a different reaction from him. When I speak about life and death, my loved ones do not take my thoughts with interest, they, on the contrary, hurt me, mock me, shut the conversation down, try to accuse me of selfishness. Each time I realize that even a note will not change anything. I can write about my reasons, but no one will understand, everyone will judge through their own prism. So what is the point? They do not listen to me alive, and when I am dead, my words will acquire for them a certain meaning that I perhaps never intended, which may complicate their grieving. I told everyone that I want to be cremated, I do not want to have a grave. I think for this it is possible to write a note in which it will be stated: no ceremony with my body, cremate me and leave the ashes in the crematorium or get rid of them, I do not care. I absolutely do not care what will be done with my things and my ashes, and I would prefer to be forgotten. Any handling of my belongings, even in theory, would not be pleasant to me, especially if it is about storage or veneration. In the end, they can do whatever they want, but I would like minimal expenses and minimal involvement if it is not necessary. It is also possible to ask my partner for forgiveness for the difficulties he will have to face. In principle, everything is clear even without repetition, but perhaps for this it is worth writing something short. I do not know, rather no. Yes, I understand that cremation is not the most environmentally friendly method, apart from burial with a grave, nothing remains. But I simply do not want to be anywhere, I do not want to take up space, money, or unnecessary dates in the calendar. I think the diaries I have left will already be enough if any explanation is needed, which, as it seems to me, makes no sense for me to explain

 

[lastsummer_yay]

I don't want to tell them anything. They know I don't hold any grudge against them, and basically that I just have problems on the psychological side. If something goes wrong, I just don't want anyone to know about it.

 

[Dejected 55]

I don't have hardly anyone I could tell... but the people I could tell I already have told my intentions and approximate intended time frame to end things. They may or may not believe me, but I have told them. I have even told them why. There's really nothing left for me to tell anyone. I will be gone so I don't care what happens after that... but I have no reason to want to get in any last words to intentionally hurt anyone.

There's no reason for me to leave a note or anything for posthumous information. My method will be obviously a suicide, so anyone who finds me will not have to wonder if someone else ended my life. Just some clean-up after the fact, and there's nothing I can do to help with that.

 

[lasttogo]

Theres no point in me writing a note. I was told that my suicidal ideations were "selfish", "threatening", and "manipulative". I already tried to voice my intentions and was met with vitriol…..if you didn't listen to me while I was alive, you don't deserve to hear what I have to say when I die.

This is how I feel to some degree. The people I would need to leave a note for well, they already think it's selfish and manipulative. If I can't tell my loved ones before I go, I don't really believe in a note afterwards for those people. think it will be misinterpreted as is the way of life.


I feel like I have to write one though, and if my times comes I probably will. One last attempt to people please maybe, or to over explain myself. It won't be for me. If I could say goodbye on my terms, it would be face to face or over the phone. If I ctb I will be alone and scared, and will wish someone was there to comfort me as I go. I think I might be an outlier there, but because I feel that way, no note would be truly honest.