Would you leave a letter or a video?

[bluesleep]

My sister killed herself a few years ago and she left nothing. I've thought about leaving a video but I don't know if that would do more harm than good. Are you planning on leaving a message? If not, why? Would that make it easier for the ones left behind?

 

[DrownedOctopus]

That's tough to answer. It depends on your loved ones, I'd say. Do you think they'd react better to a video of you or do you think it'd be too hard for them to watch and listen to you talk that way?
If you want to ease their pain, I'd recommend giving an explanation as to why you did it and how they are not to blame and at no fault.
Based on your experience with your sister, do you think they'd have an easier time coping with a video or a note?

I'm not planning to write a note or leave a video.
I've spent 3 years writing emails and notes and letters to my daughter. They all explain my love for her and any advice I have to offer or any words of comfort or encouragement I could think of. I have written a few for her to open when she's old enough that explain why I chose to ctb. They're not suicide notes saying goodbye or to be given to anyone but her.
I just don't feel I need to explain myself or actions to those who have proven to me they'll never understand my decision. The one that knows doesn't need an explanation as he understands.

 

[Empty Smile]

I'm doing neither. Leaving a note or video is not going to ease the pain for them anymore than not leaving one.

My family knows I'm suicidal. They've known for several years. Plenty of time to be prepared, so they shouldn't be shocked when it happens.

 

[soda_pressed]

I'm going to write a letter when I go.
I've been suicidal since 14 and honestly my family are the only thing that have kept me here so long, but I can't go on anymore.

I'm going to write them a note as I don't want them to think it was because of me.

 

[LilAddy]

I wrote many suicide notes but changed my mind on ending my life at that time.

I feel like once I choose my method and the time I am ready to leave I will want to actually leave both a note and video. I think a video would be easier because I talk a lot so writing it all on paper would be difficult.

 

[I am ___________]

I'm not leaving anything. The only thing I will write on paper in bold: Life is not worth it....

 

[lululoo]

Definitely not a video. Probably a note. Though I'm not sure what to say.

 

[tomz323]

I think I would leave a video, help explain why to people.

 

[Peeloffallmyskin]

I wrote a letter, recounting the last five years and how it went downhill. It spans across seven pages. It was done with the intent of detailing my better days. I guess some of the story may be worthless but I made an accurate time line. I scrunched up the last page, though. I feel like I couldn't possibly say enough to my mother - we have a troubled relationship and this will come right after Mothers Day here in Aus. I dont want her to feel responsible or believe I acted out of spite. I'm very worried for my younger brother as he's already a reclusive isolated type, in a small country town. I know how "selfish" this is so it's hard to conclude. The grief, the phone calls, the disposal of my belongings, a funeral etc. How can I apologise and wish them well knowing how much damage I'll inflict upon their lives?

 

[Please_stop]

I've prepared a note, written back and front, where I tell everyone that I am sorry, I love them, it's not their fault but I just don't want to do this anymore. I've also written down some small requests.
I've also prepared a piece of paper that says "do not revive"

 

[Divine Trinity]

I wouldn't, it'd probably be a couple hundred pages long and dropped after the first chapter XD.

 

[hunter_lewis]

I will leave a long and detailed note explaining what, and why, and most of all telling them that they couldn't have saved me, had they known about it.

 

[Bärchen]

I would only write "Take care of my Cats"
Put my retirement/insurance/bank papers and hidden cash together on a table so they don't have to search for the stuff

 

[Dead beat dad]

My sister killed herself a few years ago and she left nothing. I've thought about leaving a video but I don't know if that would do more harm than good. Are you planning on leaving a message? If not, why? Would that make it easier for the ones left behind?

I probably won't leave a note. I thought about it but is too hard to condense so much in to a manageable form for someone to process under potentially extreme stress (that plus I reckon I'll CTB spontaneously).
I think this depends a lot on you and your situation though, for some people writing the note is cathartic for them and has nothing to do with the reader.
Maybe have a practice and see how it makes you feel.
Good luck friend
DBD

 

[ImsooDone1N]

I don't know if I could bring myself to leave a video (audio only or audio video). However I feel like I need to explain why I did it. I'm would want to apologize to my parents for being such a, idk.. a dissspointment as a daughter.
I think I also have to apologize to my brother & sister; even tho in my life I've not done wrong / I want them to know it's not their fault & some other things I don't think I need to mention. But mainly that im sorry I've failed them. Finally I would have to make sure my cat is properly taken care of.

 

[Kikoo Loool]

neither

 

[ImsooDone1N]

neither

Do you think that would make it easier on them, yourself or both yourself & family/friends?

 

[phoenixx]

I would write a long letter and just try and explain everything as best as I can. I think its better to leave something than nothing, even if its one a post-it note. But you know, thats just me. Others may prefer to leave nothing.

 

[seekingoblivion]

I don't know. I'll probably just go. I'll try to write a short note but I can't say for sure that I will.

 

[Its time its time]

Not easy to write that letter. It took me days. Countless pieces of papers being crushed, torn... Countless times I got stuck on sentences.
What I suggest is to type it out on a computer so that you can easily edit before transferring to paper.

Writing the letter is a good reflection point. Because while writing it, you are pouring out all your feelings and emotions. Thus, it's a good decision point on whether you are ready to CTB or maybe take 2 steps back to reevaluate.

 

[Mr. Hang Man]

A video will probably be better. I'll be able to explain myself properly and appropriately, my shit and chicken scratch handwriting won't be understood by anybody.

 

[Jenna]

I've written a lot of notes. I think it's not fair that people see this as one size fits all. I want to break some of the stigma.

 

[JustOverIt]

I wrote a letter, recounting the last five years and how it went downhill. It spans across seven pages. It was done with the intent of detailing my better days. I guess some of the story may be worthless but I made an accurate time line. I scrunched up the last page, though. I feel like I couldn't possibly say enough to my mother - we have a troubled relationship and this will come right after Mothers Day here in Aus. I dont want her to feel responsible or believe I acted out of spite. I'm very worried for my younger brother as he's already a reclusive isolated type, in a small country town. I know how "selfish" this is so it's hard to conclude. The grief, the phone calls, the disposal of my belongings, a funeral etc. How can I apologise and wish them well knowing how much damage I'll inflict upon their lives?

My advice is to say exactly what your experience was that led up to your decision. Give her ONLY your perspective and say whatever you need to, to reduce any chance of misinterpretations and unnecessary grief for everyone close. Like the rest of us you have been fed the belief that suicide is inherently selfish. This makes you put the blame on yourself and it creates the illusion that suicide is baseless and should be prevented at all costs. Perhaps you may cause them more grief staying than going? Perhaps not. One big episode of immense emotional upheaval or over a long period of time but in lower intensity? The point I'm trying to make is that life involves pain for all of us and that we have choices. We all create our own reasons to live.

"They tell us that Suicide is the greatest piece of Cowardice... That Suicide is wrong; when it is quite obvious that there is nothing in this world to which every man has a more unassailable title than to his own life and person."
― Arthur Schopenhauer

I'm in the exact same situation as you. This is just my 2 cents.

 

[housecat]

I never used to see the point, but I would like to assure people to not feel guilt, and know this was done for the best. I would probably stick with a letter for that. Videos seem like they would hurt more to watch, and if done should be only positive. I also wouldn't want it ending up visible to the public.

 

[Peeloffallmyskin]

I wrote a letter, recounting the last five years and how it went downhill. It spans across seven pages. It was done with the intent of detailing my better days. I guess some of the story may be worthless but I made an accurate time line. I scrunched up the last page, though. I feel like I couldn't possibly say enough to my mother - we have a troubled relationship.. I dont want her to feel responsible or believe I acted out of spite. I'm very worried for my younger brother as he's already a reclusive isolated type, in a small country town. I know how "selfish" this is so it's hard to conclude. The grief, the phone calls, the disposal of my belongings, a funeral etc. How can I apologise and wish them well knowing how much damage I'll inflict upon their lives?

 

[Quinlor]

I don't think in writing a note neither a video but definitely a wills.