wishing i could fill the void

[sickgirlzis]

I actually had a pretty good day today. Unfortunately, its not enough to offset my depressed feelings, mostly about my social life.

I miss my ex boyfriend so badly. I'm not even terribly interested in men nor women, (romantically) but its honestly just because I miss him. We dated for 3 years. Broke up 2 years ago. I think about him every day. Not a day goes by since we split that I dont think about him.

He doesnt love me anymore, he doesnt truly care about me. When I started becoming socially isolated, he was there. But he left me soon after. And since then, I dont have much. I have about one other friend, but shes got a boyfriend and her own social life. She could probably care less about my issues. We don't live in the same state anymore. And besides that... I have nothing. Sometimes I engage in sexual chats with strangers to fill that void, but it doesn't. It only makes me feel worse. I wish I could just get over him. The worst part is that I don't necessarily miss him as a boyfriend. I miss him as a best friend.

He still texts me almost everyday, but we dont talk like we used to. It hurts.