Why try?

[dask]

Why should i even bother to try ending it anymore? I don't see any feasible, non violent/painful way of going, everything that i try just ends up in failure and i wake up in tears over and over and over again, for a couple of months on hrt things looked fine, i was getting better but then it all just... ended? I feel nothing positive again and in turn push people away which feeds into it. I really do not know what to do at this point

 

[scary]

Hey, I'm in the same boat of not having any CTB options at my disposal. Literally the only thing I have are pills which never really work in the end anyway. I get the feeling of not bothering trying to end it, there's just not anything for me either.

If you don't mind telling me, what made those feelings end? I'm not gonna sit here and tell you that everything will be fine in the end because I don't know your situation, but again if you don't mind venting I'm here to listen.

 

[Terrible_Life_99]

Yes the methods all have negative aspects unfortunately. In a civilized world everyone should be allowed to go to the drug store and even get it for free a pill which would kill us peacefully but no governments all around the world see us as Human Resources and even if we don't work and are mentally ill well even than they see a win situation because then they can feed us with Psychopharmaka and make money with our illness. Its a disgusting world we live in

 

[dask]

Hey, I'm in the same boat of not having any CTB options at my disposal. Literally the only thing I have are pills which never really work in the end anyway. I get the feeling of not bothering trying to end it, there's just not anything for me either.

If you don't mind telling me, what made those feelings end? I'm not gonna sit here and tell you that everything will be fine in the end because I don't know your situation, but again if you don't mind venting I'm here to listen.

I really dont know, i think i was just really excited and happy for starting but then got used to it, i do feel so, but so much worse when i stop even for a little while i cant function anymore without taking it

 

[58Alice85]

being alive = pain
being death = no more pain

 

[dask]

being alive = pain
being death = no more pain

whilst thats true, every available way i have is violent or even grotesque in some way, i dont want anyone to see me like that