Why is it hard to ctb besides the reason of si?

[Kramer]

I would've done it a couple weeks ago. I had my 2 plans ready, but then an old memory of a girl I never went for came out of the blue to haunt me. It took until recently to get over that. It's strange because even if I were to stay alive, she's not an option.

Last month I was getting some food for the last time when I saw a cashier who i know and really like. We text but it's very one sided. Anyway, seeing her smiling and talking to her coworkers made me sad and ctb felt even more painful.

The thing is if I were to ctb, these women would become irrelevant. My life would be totally forgotten. But during those times, this realization wasn't at all comforting.

 

[muffin222]

Well, death is permanent and once you're gone, there's no reversing the decision. That's a heavy prospect for most humans

 

[Kramer]

Well, death is permanent and once you're gone, there's no reversing the decision. That's a heavy prospect for most humans

But once you're gone, you won't care. The regret only exists while contemplating death. Trapped in a pain that I could free myself from but I view the solution as unsatisfactory because my brain can't imagine a solution that doesn't involve it.

 

[OrdinaryDay]

Probably has something to do with emotional attachments that are embedded in our subconscious mind, which we must preserve, as dictated by our instincts. There are many reasons and it's usually up to each person individually

 

[Boart]

I think people confuse SI with their will to live.

I've seen a pattern here on the site, the little I have been here, that the ones who mention SI are pretty much afraid of death?
I don't know for certain but they give me that impression at least.

 

[StuFin]

I think people confuse SI with their will to live.

I've seen a pattern here on the site, the little I have been here, that the ones who mention SI are pretty much afraid of death?
I don't know for certain but they give me that impression at least.

I think that's it, the finality of death and the "what if I made a mistake" thoughts.

For me I've got it clear in my mind - my life is going to be miserable for a very long time if I stick around, if I go it ends immediately and there is no suffering or shame or worrying any more.

So death is not leaving something good, it's avoiding something bad, and once it's done I won't even know I was ever alive. So it is a "no brainer" to take that option.

Kind of like leaping from safety into a bonfire would be hard to do, but leaping from a bonfire to safety would be easy to do.

You just have to recognise which is the fire and which is the safety and then there is no conflict.

 

[Meditation guide]

Kind of like leaping from safety into a bonfire would be hard to do, but leaping from a bonfire to safety would be easy to do.

I like your analogy. I will remember that.

 

[these_days9]

SI is certainly a huge pain in the ass. I also seem to have a pretty low tolerance for pain so I'm working on getting over that anxiety. And I cannot fail so I'll only go when I know for sure I'll go forever.