Venting Why can’t dying just be quick and easy

[glitterpvppy]

I don't see myself making it to the end of this year, but every day I have to wait feels like torture. My sister is threatening to kick me out. My options are to move to a different country or live with a child predator. I can't do this anymore. I had a future planned with someone, one I looked forward to, but they left. I feel impossible to love. I failed at everything I've ever tried to do in life. Things won't get better for me for a long time. I just want to end it now. I want to buy a gun but I don't have the funds to. I often fantasize about meeting someone that will save me from this nightmare, but nobody ever comes.