Discussion Why aren't people sincere that they'd rather see someone dead than a failure bum sitting at home?.

[fkyou]

Why aren't people sincere that they'd rather see someone dead than a failure bum sitting at home?..all this drama about how suicide is tragic and family members crying that he killed himself hurt them and gave them grief.but isn't that the reason people kill themselves in the first place? Because what's waiting for them from family isn't sunshine? What's this bipolar attitude. How many people cry that he/she killed himself?But did he have a choice? Isn't that the results of failure?

 

[real human being]

Why aren't people sincere that they'd rather see someone dead than a failure bum sitting at home?..all this drama about how suicide is tragic and family members crying that he killed himself hurt them and gave them grief.but isn't that the reason people kill themselves in the first place? Because what's waiting for them from family isn't sunshine? What's this bipolar attitude. How many people cry that he/she killed himself?But did he have a choice? Isn't that the results of failure?

There's a lot of hypocrisy. Perpetuating cultural and societal structures that degrade and harm vulnerable people, and then turning around and talking about how sad it is that those same people kill themselves.

The world is cruel towards people who don't fit into the system. There's a lot of abuse, and for a lot of people it's very difficult just to survive. But nobody talks about fixing the system, only implementing measures to make it harder to ctb. It's fucked up.

 

[Jealous Blackheart]

Everyone wants to save face. My father would be quite relieved if I died but he'd do a good job hiding it.

My father told me I was evil for mentioning that I was suicidal and has also told me the most important thing, or more specifically, the only important thing I can do with my life, to him and my mother, is make money. If I'm going to kill myself I should be respectful and do it quietly instead of burdening them with the knowledge of it or shaming them with my reasons. Because ignorance is a great defense.

It's so much easier for them to say they didn't know and never saw it coming.

 

[Foolishness]

Losing people to suicide is hard, you often think about if you caused it, the signs of distress you may have missed, all the times you should've reached out, if you could've prevented it. I understand the pain of loss. I hope to lessen it for those around me when I'm gone.

 

[gothbird]

There's a lot of hypocrisy in how people talk about suicide. Society punishes failure, isolates people who are struggling, calls them lazy, selfish, weak and then when those same people die, suddenly it's "tragic" and "unimaginable." But it was imaginable. It was obvious. People just didn't want to look while it was happening.

They want you to be alive, but only if you're functioning. If you're not producing, not smiling, not "trying harder," then yeah—there's this unspoken judgment that maybe you don't deserve space. It's not said out loud, but it's felt. Every time someone sighs at you. Every time someone says "get over it" instead of "are you okay?"

So when someone finally checks out, they get the tears they never got in life. That's the real tragedy. Not the death itself—but how predictable and preventable it was, and how quickly people rewrite the story to make themselves feel better.
And yeah—sometimes suicide is the result of failure. But not personal failure. Systemic failure. Familial failure. Compassion failure.

No one chooses to suffer like that.
They just run out of road.

 

[fkyou]

Losing people to suicide is hard, you often think about if you caused it, the signs of distress you may have missed, all the times you should've reached out, if you could've prevented it. I understand the pain of loss. I hope to lessen it for those around me when I'm gone.

You missed the perspective this post is discussing..

 

[Foolishness]

You missed the perspective this post is discussing..

Oh, did I? Sorry for that, I'm autistic.

 

[katara]

There's a lot of hypocrisy in how people talk about suicide. Society punishes failure, isolates people who are struggling, calls them lazy, selfish, weak and then when those same people die, suddenly it's "tragic" and "unimaginable." But it was imaginable. It was obvious. People just didn't want to look while it was happening.

They want you to be alive, but only if you're functioning. If you're not producing, not smiling, not "trying harder," then yeah—there's this unspoken judgment that maybe you don't deserve space. It's not said out loud, but it's felt. Every time someone sighs at you. Every time someone says "get over it" instead of "are you okay?"

So when someone finally checks out, they get the tears they never got in life. That's the real tragedy. Not the death itself—but how predictable and preventable it was, and how quickly people rewrite the story to make themselves feel better.
And yeah—sometimes suicide is the result of failure. But not personal failure. Systemic failure. Familial failure. Compassion failure.

No one chooses to suffer like that.
They just run out of road.

This is exactly how I feel about the anti MAID crowd. They say that we have to be happy working constantly and never being able to afford a house or start a family. You can't win with them. They don't understand some of us actually want to have some of these things but we can't

 

[Ijustcantanymore]

Because this is how humans are. Awful creatures. They revel in the cruelty.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think people don't want to admit or reveal how callous they really are. The thought of culling the 'unwanted', 'burdonsome', or 'problematic' probably seems too extreme.

I also think people like to hope we live in a society that will take care of those who are ill or less fortunate. Even though it's got to be obvious that so many fall through the cracks.

I wonder what the honest answer is though for people who work. Are you comfortable with a percentage of your wages going to support total strangers? I imagine a lot of the time, the response will be- so long as they are genuinely deserving. But, therein lies the problem really because some people will find ways of defrauding and milking the system. Others though are genuinely disabled/ incapable of working so- do we throw the baby out with the bath water? Most people will likely say 'no'. It's maybe worth a few fraudulant claims to support those who genuinely need it.

Again though, I think people deal in ideals. They don't want people to kill themselves. They want them to 'recover' sufficiently to join/ rejoin the workforce.

I suppose as a society, there has already been an investment made into that person- education, healthcare etc. Now, they want the rewards.

It would also be a massive admission of failure for doctors, therapists, teachers, parents to concede that a person is useless and beyond help.

 

[TAW122]

Yeah, I've noticed this hypocrisy and inconsistent logic by most people in society as well. In the past, I would have been more vocal and argued against it, but nowadays suffering a lot and wanting to exit sooner than later (been like that but more intense in the past year or two). I would attribute this kind of thinking and logic by society as a fallacy, the fallacy of a 'just world' (or simply, 'Just world fallacy') and then also the notion that people don't want to face the (inconvenient) truth.

@Forever Sleep made great points as well, especially about the investments made into a person. Regarding that, I would add that this 'investment' sadly is an non-consensual investment that (collective) society imposed on the individual as no sentient being has ever willingly consented to this unwritten contract or investment, but simply just being conceived, they were imposed that from birth. This includes one's parents nurturing and educating them, teaching them society's norms, rules, and laws, etc., and through the indoctrination of school and society itself. That isn't to say that there aren't people who are happy with that, but for those who never wanted to be, but were forced into it, yeah it's basically non-consensual investment. While people may argue that "well if everyone thought that way society would collapse!" but the argument against that would be "perhaps, it's a sign of a broken and messed up society, instead of the individual(s)? and also that the individual(s) has had enough self-realization and awareness to realize the bullshit of sentience. Finally, yes, the last sentence made sense and even if they (subconsciously) believe that, they wouldn't really vocalize or openly admit it (for obvious reasons). So in short, yeah the collective members of society may be aware, but are just unwilling to admit it openly.

 

[white_car]

I think in some cases people genuinely prefer to have you be a bum rather than dead.

My old parents for instance, are very well aware that things will never ever get better for me, but they have been dealing with this "half-life" state of mine for decades now.

And when I was seriously ill at some point (cancer), they were really shaken. They were shocked I considered not following the treatment. (I know now that's exactly what I should have done)

When recently there was a significant possibility that the illness could be back, and I expressed the idea that it would be better if it was truly the case, they were very clear they viewed things very differently.

So yeah, at least some are sincere when they say they prefer you being alive. I don't agree, but they really feel that way.

 

[wham311]

Family wants me alive. Think I can get better but I obviously can't. They mean well. I'm so tired. I'm in so much pain. I just want out

 

[LetMeOut67]

I became the lunatic in the attic
Literally
In other words boredom depression and loneliness
For years they saw me as a lazy bum
It took hospitalisation and autism diagnosis for them to finally grasp that I was just supremely fucked up
Probably in part due to their inability to be proper parents

 

[Forever Sleep]

Yeah, I've noticed this hypocrisy and inconsistent logic by most people in society as well. In the past, I would have been more vocal and argued against it, but nowadays suffering a lot and wanting to exit sooner than later (been like that but more intense in the past year or two). I would attribute this kind of thinking and logic by society as a fallacy, the fallacy of a 'just world' (or simply, 'Just world fallacy') and then also the notion that people don't want to face the (inconvenient) truth.

@Forever Sleep made great points as well, especially about the investments made into a person. Regarding that, I would add that this 'investment' sadly is an non-consensual investment that (collective) society imposed on the individual as no sentient being has ever willingly consented to this unwritten contract or investment, but simply just being conceived, they were imposed that from birth. This includes one's parents nurturing and educating them, teaching them society's norms, rules, and laws, etc., and through the indoctrination of school and society itself. That isn't to say that there aren't people who are happy with that, but for those who never wanted to be, but were forced into it, yeah it's basically non-consensual investment. While people may argue that "well if everyone thought that way society would collapse!" but the argument against that would be "perhaps, it's a sign of a broken and messed up society, instead of the individual(s)? and also that the individual(s) has had enough self-realization and awareness to realize the bullshit of sentience. Finally, yes, the last sentence made sense and even if they (subconsciously) believe that, they wouldn't really vocalize or openly admit it (for obvious reasons). So in short, yeah the collective members of society may be aware, but are just unwilling to admit it openly.

Yes, that's true. It's only really benevolence with the insistance that we pay everything back. Plus, while we like to believe the world is our oyster. We can do anything, be anyone, pursue our dreams, the reality doesn't always work out like that. I absolutely experience life as an unfair imposition where all I can really do is try to and negotiate the mosy painless path through. That still includes a whole bunch of resentful compliance because the alternative looks even worse!

 

[Ligottian]

I had a friend who never had a job, lived at home all his life, never had a date, never spent a night away from home. He died in a car wreck at age 56. Pretty sure he had pretty severe autism. He was sensitive to loud sounds and light. He was able to graduate high school and college. His father was an alcoholic who killed himself.

 

[Alexandra0]

Sometimes you can read it on people's faces or between the lines. That they don't mind you committing suicide. Many don't say it out loud because it's unethical, but some say it right to your face