Help Where next? (Advice wanted)

[VampQueen]

I'm not really sure what else to do with my life. I lost my job, my sister and her boyfriend are constantly fighting and in bad moods. I feel so tempted to just pack my car and go back home yet idk if I can. I hate people knowing me and so many people know me back in my home state. I just don't want people to recognize me, for my own safety and privacy. Also the fact that I would be sorta homeless. I say sorta because the only person that can house me is my grandma and shes already has a full house. My uncle and his two kids. It's only a 3 bedroom house.

I applied to KOA job but they wont be taking applications till August . Tired to get a job at a gas station down the street but they haven't called back even though thenperson who interviewed me said, VERBATIM, "I really want to hire you". Ive also been applying to places in my home state, just looking for anything that I can do with my skills and disability(ies).

I've been getting back into gaming. I absolutely love it. I get so emerged into the story and the characters and it feels like I'm really doing fun stuff in real life. I also started to make youtube videos of me playing the games amd I'm having a really great time. I wish Youtube was something I was able to get paid from. I really enjoy my time.

Do I go back home? Try and stick it out at my sister's? Kill myself? Idk anymore

 

[Life_and_Death]

I wish Youtube was something I was able to get paid from.

dont you after so many subscribers or something? same with twitch?

 

[VampQueen]

dont you after so many subscribers or something? same with twitch?

Yeah but I only have like 37. Not enough to make a living.

 

[-Link-]

Write out all the pros and cons of staying where you are compared to moving back to your home state.

If you're still unsure after doing that, then I'd say stay where you are now and think of ways you could improve your current circumstances by adding/doing something positive/helpful (eg. accepting the job offer for interim income) or by removing/limiting things that are negative/harmful (eg. are there ways you could limit your exposure to your toxic housemates).

If neither option seems good to you, then think about which option is less bad than the other.

 

[katara]

i wish i could get into gaming but my laptop sucks. It sounds like you at least have potential, if you get a job i think you'd feel a lot better.

 

[burner4242]

I'm not really sure what else to do with my life. I lost my job, my sister and her boyfriend are constantly fighting and in bad moods. I feel so tempted to just pack my car and go back home yet idk if I can. I hate people knowing me and so many people know me back in my home state. I just don't want people to recognize me, for my own safety and privacy. Also the fact that I would be sorta homeless. I say sorta because the only person that can house me is my grandma and shes already has a full house. My uncle and his two kids. It's only a 3 bedroom house.

I applied to KOA job but they wont be taking applications till August . Tired to get a job at a gas station down the street but they haven't called back even though thenperson who interviewed me said, VERBATIM, "I really want to hire you". Ive also been applying to places in my home state, just looking for anything that I can do with my skills and disability(ies).

I've been getting back into gaming. I absolutely love it. I get so emerged into the story and the characters and it feels like I'm really doing fun stuff in real life. I also started to make youtube videos of me playing the games amd I'm having a really great time. I wish Youtube was something I was able to get paid from. I really enjoy my time.

Do I go back home? Try and stick it out at my sister's? Kill myself? Idk anymore

Have you made or have you tried making friends and doing fun stuff irl? I know it's often easier said than done (im an introvert so it's kinda hypocritical for me to say that)but, if you're wanting to stick it out where you're at vs moving back to your home state talking and hanging with a friend could potentially help with that. Sounds like you're sorta lonesome right now. With the arguing and stuff with your sister and her bf, you not getting out of the house sounds like your biggest problem. That can have a really bad impact on your mental health growth if you're trying to recover at all. I agree with one of the other replies you getting a job could very well benefit you. The job market is kinda ass rn so don't feel discouraged if you don't even get interviews for the first couple/few jobs you apply for.

 

[VampQueen]

Have you made or have you tried making friends and doing fun stuff irl? I know it's often easier said than done (im an introvert so it's kinda hypocritical for me to say that)but, if you're wanting to stick it out where you're at vs moving back to your home state talking and hanging with a friend could potentially help with that. Sounds like you're sorta lonesome right now. With the arguing and stuff with your sister and her bf, you not getting out of the house sounds like your biggest problem. That can have a really bad impact on your mental health growth if you're trying to recover at all. I agree with one of the other replies you getting a job could very well benefit you. The job market is kinda ass rn so don't feel discouraged if you don't even get interviews for the first couple/few jobs you apply for.

I've been applying since i got fired. One interview and that's it. I don't have friends unfortunately. It's really hard to make them, not because I'm like a weirdo but I'm just very introverted and don't talk much.

For the last few days I've been getting out the house. Going to eat breakfast at Bob Evens, I went to the mothman museum a few days ago. I'm trying but life is kicking my ass so hard.

 

[burner4242]

Friends are hard I often just pick one weirdo I feel drawn to. Or one weirdo picks me and I get dragged along into their weird little adventures and world lmao. I bet going to breakfast with someone would feel better than eating alone or going to the moth man museum alone (never been sounds interesting lol). Find yourself a friend I'm sure that won't solve all your problems but a good one will sit and listen to them and help suggest solutions. It would definitely get you out of your toxic house environment more if you guys went and did something together occasionally. Staying cooped up in the house and no one to talk to will start to make you feel like an animal in a zoo cage.

 

[VampQueen]

Friends are hard I often just pick one weirdo I feel drawn to. Or one weirdo picks me and I get dragged along into their weird little adventures and world lmao. I bet going to breakfast with someone would feel better than eating alone or going to the moth man museum alone (never been sounds interesting lol). Find yourself a friend I'm sure that won't solve all your problems but a good one will sit and listen to them and help suggest solutions. It would definitely get you out of your toxic house environment more if you guys went and did something together occasionally. Staying cooped up in the house and no one to talk to will start to make you feel like an animal in a zoo cage.

Yeah, I need some friends with similar interest. I'm a geek. I love Video games, museums intrest me, I think art is pretty neat, I have an alternative style. I'm just a colorful person.

 

[burner4242]

Yeah, I need some friends with similar interest. I'm a geek. I love Video games, museums intrest me, I think art is pretty neat, I have an alternative style. I'm just a colorful person.

My best friend is probably the complete opposite of me idk if we would work out if we were the same He's a Pokémon nerd and a musician just a major dweeb in all aspects. I'm a homebody who enjoys quiet time and low stimulation and just bed rotting. He's a good guy though and has probably kept me from ending my life a good 20 times since knowing him and I've done the same for him. Even if you make a friend(s) keep in mind they probably aren't going to be just like you if anything like you. Shouldn't discourage you though everyone is different and deserves friends and should be embraced. Even yourself. Don't give up quite yet. You're still figuring things out I'm sure you'll get there (where ever you're meant to be in life) faster than you think.