Where did you learn to be kind to others

[FoxSauce]

Read this : How did you learn to be kind to others ? Did it failed or made you a better person ? If you think people don't deserve it and want to explain why?

Sorry if this seems like those weird questionnaires. Again sorry if I havent posted in a while havent got the time for any topics in particular and life gets busy i suppose

Theres no right or wrong answer just a matter off opinion or maybe circumstances.

Edit: I might response with my own answer later but not rn atm

 

[VoidButterfly]

I would say I've always treated people well, but I'm not sure I was truly kind for a long time. I'm quite gifted academically, and that often caused me to look down on others, especially the religious whom I saw as particularly inferior. So then as a lifelong atheist it's possibly unusual that the church is the first place I think I learned real kindness. I started attending to understand people, how they could possibly believe this rubbish, and I found a genuine community of people who seemed to give a shit about others and the sense of belonging I got - even as a proclaimed atheist - was immense. I still didn't buy their stories, but it really helped me to stop judging everyone.

The second way was by joining a forum moderation team. The team is full of the most wonderful people, and getting to choose to be kind to everyone, to help them or to be gentle with them. Sure sometimes people do stuff that maybe should get them warned or banned but maybe that's because they might just be having a rough time or be lashing out and that shouldn't cost their support community. This perspective leads to moderating with a lot of care for others. Particularly those who might be most "deserving" of punishment, those people are often the most needing of care and understanding. Having that position of responsibility, and frankly that power over others in that situation, and choosing to be as delicate as possible with it and seeing the positive results of that has really played a big role in shaping me to be the person I am today.

I think it definitely made me a beter person, and I think from the examples I've shown why people always deserve it. Particularly when they don't. There's qutie the threshold of proven evil before I consider someone undeserving of kindness, in my day to day life no-one is undeserving.

 

[amerie]

Uh well, I don't think anyone wakes up one day and says "let's be a piece of shit" but that doesn't mean you won't fuck up from time to time, you learn through trial and error.

 

[FoxSauce]

Uh well, I don't think anyone wakes up one day and says "let's be a piece of shit" but that doesn't mean you won't fuck up from time to time, you learn through trial and error.

Sorry I should've been more specific. I me through out life. Yes is absolutely true that no one wakes up like.

Moslty what i mean is what made you become better or if you decided not to then what let you to that.

Idk if thats better?

 

[WhatCouldHaveBeen32]

The question is the reverse for me, I started out as a good innocent kid and I've lost a lot of it over the years. I'm not an asshole to people, just to the ones who deserve it, I'm not that good person anymore, I'm kind of stained if you look at it.

 

[The Morningstar]

Uh well, I don't think anyone wakes up one day and says "let's be a piece of shit" but that doesn't mean you won't fuck up from time to time, you learn through trial and error.

You would be surprised. For example, there are a lot of young guys who watch one of those "toxic white male rage" movies and make it their entire personality right after. I suppose that doesn't count as making a decision in a vacuum, but I'd say it comes pretty close. But to that end, you could make the argument that no thought happens in a vacuum, so I guess my point stands.

How did you learn to be kind to others ?

As for me, this just about sums it up:


(It's from a show I never watched, but I really like the quote.)

 

[Grimlock]

I am just scared of people so if I cannot avoid them I try to get on their good side. It hasn't made me a better person I don't think, fear isn't the right reason to be nice to others to begin with.

 

[EternalShore]

I wasn't always as kind as I am now~ In 8th grade or so, I thought I should be more kind to others to be more like Jesus and resolved to do just that~ :) I wonder how much of that my best friend [she moved away in 8th grade :(((] saw~ I figure I was still kind before then tho too but probably a bit less so~ :) I'd say that it's made me holier and a better person, yes~ :) ofc, I wasn't all roses in 8th grade, but I've become continually more kind since then~ :) and I could still certainly be kinder to my family, who aren't always kind to me in return tbf (my brother pushed me into the shower and turned it on while I was fully clothed~ :/)~ >_<

Unfortunately, my kindness tends to just be used and taken advantage of by others~ :( which leaves me broken~ :( so I end up really disliking and distrusting others as well as becoming a misanthrope but am still always there to lend a hand as needed like God wants me to~ :) It'd just be nice if people took me up on that again~ :( Maybe I come off too smart or cocky or something? >_< irl friends would be nice...

so no, people don't deserve it because they're evil and cruel to me, as is obvious by my presence here~ >_< However, Jesus wants me to be this way, so I am this way~ :)

Anyways, just commenting on this type of thread, given the userbase of this website, I think most people here are going to say that they're kinder given the horrible experiences that they have been through that have gifted them with empathy~ :) This site tends to be very nice and empathetic after all due to all of our collective suffering! ^_^

The second way was by joining a forum moderation team. The team is full of the most wonderful people, and getting to choose to be kind to everyone, to help them or to be gentle with them. Sure sometimes people do stuff that maybe should get them warned or banned but maybe that's because they might just be having a rough time or be lashing out and that shouldn't cost their support community. This perspective leads to moderating with a lot of care for others. Particularly those who might be most "deserving" of punishment, those people are often the most needing of care and understanding. Having that position of responsibility, and frankly that power over others in that situation, and choosing to be as delicate as possible with it and seeing the positive results of that has really played a big role in shaping me to be the person I am today.

I'm glad you're empathetic and understanding of others within your role as a moderator on that forum! ^_^ And that you found kindness within that church, and that it helped guide you to become kind like them~ :)

 

[FadingSnowFake]

First answer that came to mind is, I learned from my mom that if I don't have anything kind or good to say about someone, to rather keep quiet. But then everyone walked all over her, including my dad who emotionally abused her. She lacked self confidence and allowed people to treat her unkindly. Looking back, that's probably a reason why I felt not good enough, or less worthy in relationships or as a person.

Then, since going through emotional hell myself last year, I feel as though I can now empathise with people more. Before, while I was kind, I couldn't really place myself in their shoes. That is why I think there are so many kind souls here on SaSu, it's about understanding too, and being able to see things from a different perspective. At the same time, while hardened by my own experience, I won't open myself up to being broken again by being the lesser person.

 

[kazatte]

the world can be very mean and i want to make sure i can help as many people as i possibly can have an easier, more pleasant time on it. i want to make people feel respected, understood, and heard, especially when one is dealing with the things many people on here are

life has not been very kind to me over the years, and i think that has definitely made me a nicer person

 

[Irisse]

The question is the reverse for me, I started out as a good innocent kid and I've lost a lot of it over the years. I'm not an asshole to people, just to the ones who deserve it, I'm not that good person anymore, I'm kind of stained if you look at it.

Same. My parents taught me to be kind to everyone and then certain people took advantage of that. It's not like I'm down to go around and bully people or something but I can no longer symphatize with most of people I meet. Sorry you feel this way too.

 

[FoxSauce]

This might sound a little silly, but honestly, most of what shaped me came from shows and friends, with my parents helping a bit too.
I've tried to be kind ever since I was young, though it hasn't always worked in my favor it really depends on who you're dealing with.
I do believe in giving second chances, but only up to a point.
To me, kindness is something the world is missing more and more, and I don't think it's going to improve it feels like it's only going downhill.
And like someone once said here: nobody wakes up thinking, "hehe, let me mess with people today."

But there's some are indifferent or clearly enjoy the misery of others.
Or just dont care for past situations

 

[The Morningstar]

This might sound a little silly, but honestly, most of what shaped me came from shows and friends, with my parents helping a bit too.
I've tried to be kind ever since I was young, though it hasn't always worked in my favor it really depends on who you're dealing with.
I do believe in giving second chances, but only up to a point.
To me, kindness is something the world is missing more and more, and I don't think it's going to improve it feels like it's only going downhill.
And like someone once said here: nobody wakes up thinking, "hehe, let me mess with people today."

But there's some are indifferent or clearly enjoy the misery of others.
Or just dont care for past situations

 

[Pluto]